Chapter 8 Doorstep

She had been unable to stop her tears after she hung up her call with her mother. So much for wanting to run away from her own life. It had found a way of reminding her exactly where she had come from. She did not even know that it affected her that much yet it had. She hated him, hated it with so much passion yet there was nothing she could do about it. She had no idea how long she had curled into a ball in her bed while waiting for her feelings to subside but all she knew was the fact that the music out there was matching her mood.

The melancholic tunes playing from next door felt as though AJ knew exactly what she needed. She finally had the energy to move from her lying down position.

She sat for a few minutes trying to gather her thoughts. She cleaned her face and wiped the tears away hoping that the fresh batch of those tears would not fall before she made it back to her position. She could now notice that it was dark outside but she did not even feel the urge to put the lights on. She instead decided to follow her instincts and walked out to sit at her favorite spot next to the wall where the music sounded loudest. As if in sync with her feelings the music that AJ was playing spoke to her heart and reminded her that she had music. She could loose everything but she could still sing and she could accomplish so much if she decided to sing. She closed her eyes and let herself feel the notes flow through her ears to her heart. She needed the therapy and the music was her therapy. She did not know how long she sat there but she knew that the man was patient enough as he kept playing until she had cried it all out and she had nothing left in her to cry about. She had gotten up from her position and staggered back to her house and sank into her bed not even daring to pull the covers off and she closed her eyes.

Seeing AJ standing by her bed was the part of night that she enjoyed most. As in most of her dreams she could not see his face but she knew he was in the room with her. She looked up at him and she heard him chuckle lowly and she immediately knew that she would get the comfort she needed. She did not speak as she observed his hooded self make his way towards the bed and sit at the foot of it slowly massaging her feet and lightly tickling her. She laughed in a hushed tone not wanting her neighbor to go all dragon fire on her. She turned to lie on her back and scooted over so that he would be comfortable on the bed with her. She smiled up at him placing her hands behind her head and trying to get squint her eyes enough to see his face under his hoodie to no avail. She gave up and closed her eyes enjoying how good his hands felt touching her. She was quiet for a while contemplating whether this was real and right. She knew it was a dream and it was all just her wild imagination but she did not want to let go of the fact that dreams sometimes could translate to reality. She however did not know what better time to converse with him than that moment and she decided to make the most of it.

"Does it ever get better?" She asked with her eyes closed. If he had a face maybe she would have seen the judgement and confusion in his eyes all at the same time but he did not and she had to imagine its presence.

"What are we talking about in this case?" He asked softy and she could feel him slowly massaging her legs and feet and it kind of soothed her and she felt like she could bare her heart to him.

"Life. I left home to have it better but it seems not to work." She spoke. She had never trusted anyone but this man even in her dreams she trusted him. She had just opened up about something that was bothering her to him even without second thoughts. What did not make sense to her was the fact that she did not want to take that statement back.. Instead she wanted to keep talking which sounded so random for her.

"It gets better and it gets worse." His movement ceased from her left foot and moved to her right. She knew not to speak however since she felt as though he had more to tell her and she had to wait for him to exhaust it.

"Sometimes we wish for our good days to come and they seem not to come. Sometimes we pray all we can so that things get better with all of us but there is no way to make them better and in that moment we decide to live everyday as it is. It is in that longing of better days that we find ourselves getting hope to live another one with the promise of a better tomorrow. So I won't lie to you and tell you it gets better or worse. It just becomes. You create friendships that help you through it and eventually you are out of this jungle and on to the next." She could not tell whether she had understood or even gotten confused from the answer but all she knew was one thing.

"Will you hold me so I can sleep?" She said turning to her side hoping to snuggle into him. Wordlessly he lifted the covers and lifted her before placing her underneath them and laying right next to her and holding her close. She could feel his warmth and his heartbeat and she knew she belonged.

"Not for long though. By morning he'll be at your doorstep." She heard him say just as she was drifting off to sleep.