Chapter 7 Killing me softly

I try so hard to move on with my life but Eli's eyes and face and his voice keeps tormenting me. I get a notification from Instagram and it's a post of Eli and Noah and caption giving "My new peace,my new home, it's good to be loved by him". That Hits me like a blow ,a tear falls down my cheeks and I hurriedly wipe it as I hear a knock at my door.

"Come in"

My best friend Marco shows up obviously with his boyfriend,and this time carrying a flower and gifts for me. I hug both of them,well I'm also starting to get close to his boyfriend too he is like an inlaw to me. I thank him for the gift and for showing up.

"You are so miserable over a gay, joestassy get some life hunny" Marco says playfully as we head to living room. Both him and Atticus talks to me and makes me laugh when possible. I tell him how difficult it is to move on since.....Eli broke my virginity and was my first love and that's the reason I'm more broken. I feel like a trash for allowing him do that to me. Marco comforts me and makes sure I feel comfortable. He makes sure I eat well and don't use my phone. We spend the rest of the day watching movies, eating, laughing, playing games and some gossips. Marco and I have been friends since I was eight and he is like a brother to me and people always thinks that we are related and maybe twins because we are almost the same age. At night Marco and his boyfriend finally bid me goodnight and then leaves.

I sigh as I feel lonely again, their presence at least made me happy and made me feel loved by someone somewhere. I immediately get a message from anonymous number,"Hi joestassy,how are you coping,it's me Noah,can we talk". I feel like my heart beats fast and stomach twists. I let out a panic fart ,and then reply back what he wants from me. He just answers he wants to see me now. I pin him my location, though I don't trust him,but at this point I don't care let them do whatever they like. I mean if they wanna do bad thing to me let them just do it.

After an hour Noah reach my house and I allow him in. Well he is good looking too,his blue eyes,pink lips the dimple,his dreadlocks,I mean he looks good too.We sit on couch atleast respecting each other space. He then starts by apologizing for the inconveniences he has caused since he started dating Eli.Well I'm hurt I won't forgive him that easily. He looks at me looking for any sign of forgiveness,all he can see is my hurt and tired expression. He even confesses that Eli did the first move,wow! I didn't know that,but it is what it is . As he talks I see a hidden camera on his shirt. I get suspicious,like what's going on. I just brush it off but I think the one hearing everything is Eli. Well nice try. I start asking him weird question about Eli and him.

"So y'all always fuck for how long I mean Eli always lasts long"

He is taken aback by my question but answers it. I keep on asking him uncomfortable question till he shush me up then leaves . I give out a satisfied smirk. Then head to sleep.

Following day Eli storms into my room where I'm still sleeping and wakes me up angrily. I wake up confused by his behavior. He immediately grips me by collar making me wake up fully. He immediately asks me why I asked Noah uncomfortable questions .

"You hurting me Eli"~me

"As I should,how dare you make him uncomfortable huh"He says now letting go as he push me as I I stumble . He brush his hair in frustration,but somehow guilty for threatening me. I look at him now tears rolling down my cheeks but he looks away.

He again looks at me with cold red eyes and gives me a warning not to ever talk like that to his boyfriend.

"Do you hate me that much Eli? answer me,huh,you doing this because of a boy,I loved you,and you.....you betrayed me,what did I ever do to you" I say while crying and now my eyes red and puffy. Without answering he leaves and drive away, leaving me clueless. Why can't I get him out of my minds. Why? what's so special about him?what's going on ? this is not me,I sit on my bed confused and still crying. I can't imagine the person we used to share the same feelings with is now acting like a total stranger. Why am I feeling like this?.

I spend the rest of the day on bed not talking to anyone,not picking any call ,not replying to any messages,I'm just ignoring everyone. Claudia comes to my house and immediately feels like something is quite off. He sees my bedroom door opened and she can hear my sobs and gulping of alcohol and smell of cigarettes. She immediately runs to my room finding me on the floor,my hair shaggy, Chunk of cigarettes and one between my fingers and bottles of alcohol on the floor and another bottle on my other hand ,and tear stained face. I'm so drunk that I don't even hear her enter. Her heart ache by my situation,she has never seen me like this, especially because of a man.

She takes the alcohol and the cigarette from my hand as I try to push her. I shout at her" Leave me alone,leave me the fuck alone,my life is a fucking mess right now,I don't know wh.....w.....w...who I am,hahaha who are you " I scream at her but she doesn't stop. She just hugs me as I melt into her arms and start crying. She gives me a shoulder to cry on atleast she understands my situation. She later takes me to bed and start working on my hair but I'm still drunk I don't even know what's going on.