Chapter 4 My Innocence (part 2)

As we drove out of the house, I couldn't help but think about my dad, my sister and my mom. I felt this was going to be my last day on earth because I just knew my mom hated me, but could she be this heartless? Could she end the life of an innocent child? Is this the last day i see Janice? Is this my last birthday? Will I finally be with daddy again? These and many more were the questions that tickled through my mind as I clutched on tomy seatbelt and was trembling, my knees felt weak and I was so cold.

I was thinking so hard, my mom might have noticed because I felt her cold hands on my exposed thighs which brought shivers down my spine and brought me back to reality, just then I realized I was actually holding my breath.

"What is it?" she asked me

"Nothing Ma", I said trying to smile, so even if I were to die, at least not around my father's.... Just then I looked around and discovered we were already so far from home and driving into a big mansion. It was a big house painted blue and had a big gate Painted black. I quickly forgot about the possibility of me dying today and sat in awe of the mansion in front of me, it was like those we saw in Nigerian movies, the ones rich kids lived in.

My mom pulled up to the garage and asked me to come out. I didn't hesitate because I wanted to see what the insides looked like.

"It's beautiful abi" my mom interrupted my thoughts and I turned to look at her smiling.

"Yes oh ma. It is very big and beautiful"

Mom nodded and held me by the shoulder and said,

"This is one of my friend's houses, he is a very nice man and is like your father. You remember what you used to do with daddy right? Where you used To touch him and where he used to touch you. You remember liking it so much Abi? Mr Kingsley will do the same for you. You will like it so much. He will give us plenty money after so your sister will continue her school and music study. So you are helping but your sister oh, not me. Because I have my own friends that can give me plenty money. Do this for your sister!"

My mom sounded so concerned for me and my sister and even though I didn't know what exactly she wanted from me, I was willing to do everything for my sister, as I thought it meant living in this big house and cleaning for Mr Kingsley, I was prepared to become a house help for this man.

Just then, an old man walked out of the house, mom said he was like my dad, no he wasn't. He was like a hundred years old and had white hair on his chin with a bald head. He couldn't even stand straight and needed help walking, which was provided by a young man of about 25. He welcomed us and took me inside. About 1hour later, I came back outside and joined mom in the car crying my eyes out. Mom already knew what had happened and just patted my shoulder and said, "I am very proud of you". Just then, I heard her phone ding and she gave out a happy dance and noise.

My mother was singing all through out our drive back. She took me to a mall close to the man's estate and bought me a dress as skimpy as the one I had on. She asked what I wanted to eat but I said I wasn't hungry. She went ahead and bought some chicken, rice and many snacks and juice and ice cream. I loved ice cream and she knew that, but I couldn't stop crying enough to have a taste so we just got all takeaway and we drove home. I was silent through out that ride and felt sick just thinking about what Mr Kingsley did to me inside that house. I couldn't hold back the tears that ran down my cheeks. We got home and my sister wanted to talk about how my day went. She was all over me, and I just wanted to clean myself up and sleep, at least then, I couldn't remember what just happened to me, a ten year old girl, under the watch of her mother, who was supposed to protect her. I may have been breathing and walking and looking alive, but truth is, that wasn't the case.

I had just lost my innocence, something girls lost when they turned 16 or for the good girls, 18. I had lost mine at age 10 and my mom had just orchestrated this.