Chapter 5 Living Dead

I spent that night in the bathroom, reminiscing what had just happened. As the water from the shower ran from my head, through my spine to my feet, I felt the shivers I had felt once Mr Kingsley had touched me earlier.

As I walked into his house, he kept touching my exposed shoulder and once we were sited, he offered me juice Which I had ordered for, he started feeling on my thighs and that made me uncomfortable because Daddy made sure to teach me about saying no to certain things. I told Mr Kingsley I wanted to go to my mom, but he said my mom already knew what he wanted to do and that's why she brought me there, besides, he was going to give me much money. I screamed and pleaded, telling him I was like his grandchild but he asked this young man to take me upstairs. Soon after, he came in and took off his white agbada he had on, exposing his pot belly. He didn't have strength to walk but he flipped me up as a struggled to to escape. He pinned me with one hand and pulled up my dress and my panty. He then pushed in a finger into my vagina and it hurt so bad and burst into fresh flow of tears and started calling out to my dad and begging. He kept thrusting his finger in and out of my vagina and that pushed me into more tears. Soon after, I was out of breathe and just laid there staring at the white ceiling and crying. He then took out his penis and forced it into my vagina and I swear I stopped breathing for a minute and then came back to life and cried again and hitting him on his shoulder, begging him to stop and that it hurt. He continued thrusting in and out of me faster and harder. About 20minutes later, he started breathing hard and thrusting in and out even more fast and then he stopped, letting out a loud cry and then he took his penis out and laid on the bed out of breathe. He asked me to get dressed to go and I quickly did and went to meet my mom outside with tears flowing continuously.

The rest of the events of that day passed by without me noticing and the only thing I know now is I am in my bathroom, under the shower, crying and in pain.

I was alive and breathing but I was dead. I took a one hour shower, not really bathing but letting that cold water run down my body as I sat on the bathroom floor in my own tears. I had cried so much so that I just knew that atleast half of the water on my body now were tears and not tap water.

When I found the energy to stand, I turned off the water and came into the room, didn't lotion up. I just wore my clothes and sat there in thoughts.

"Is this it? Is this what mom thought dad and I did? Did I just lose my innocence? Am I no longer a child? Will I ever be okay again? Did I make my mom proud? Will I ever get justice for what has been done to me today? Do I get to live.."

My thoughts were soon interrupted by the knock on my door. I t was my sister and she looked so happy. She sat on my bed and began to talk

" Thank you.." but I interrupted her with a tight hug and let my tears flow. She was so innocent and I wish I could go back to how I was before earlier.

"Thank you for my ice cream and chicken. Mommy said you are the one that choose it for me. Don't worry, on my birthday, I'll also bring you something nice eh", she continued with a sweet smile. I nodded and she handed me some painkillers mom had sent her to give me. "Mommy said you should drink it and then come and take your own food." She added, I collected the pills as she left and left my door wild open. I didn't want to see my mom so I just went to the bathroom and took some water from the sink and drank the pills. I then laid in bed and thought for a while again, hugging my dad's photo till I fell asleep.

I woke up like 10 times through out the entire night to nightmares about Mr Kingsley and how he used my body. It dawned on me that I wan never going to be innocent again, never would I be able to live a normal life and I realized I was just a a living person who was already dead inside.