Chapter 3 CONSEQUENCES:

When a mistake is made, the options are few and among those the most obvious would be to assume and face what has been done wrong, the problem is, when the decision affects more than one person, and consequently, suffering is inevitable, but at what cost?

CHAPTER II: CONSEQUENCES:

'And what will you do with the consequences?/I will learn to live with them.' LEONEL CASSELL

The night was advancing and the sun was threatening to give way to its presence, it was cold, the temperatures in London were beginning to be precarious, even for him who loved the winter was beginning to weigh on his skin, so now there, lonely and worried, within the walls that comprise the hospital corridor, praying to all that existed and had never even had faith, he closed his eyes and sighed as he clung to the positive possibility that everything would be all right.

Leonel felt the footsteps, and looked up, along the corridor Ellian Davies was entering along with Dean Johnson and her boyfriend, Lucius Taylor, all three looked upset and even as dejected as he was, he looked at their clothes, pajamas, coats and even slippers, it was 3 am, none of them had had time to get dressed.

"How is he?" asked Ellian as soon as he saw him and approached him, he was pale and nervous, even his hands were shaking, he saw how Dean dropped his hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly as a support to which the brown man denied walking away, walking from one side to the other, "He's fine, isn't he?" he asked looking at nobody in particular.

Of the newcomers, and taking Leonel aside, Ellian was the closest person to Alexandre, attached in a way that not even the red-haired man could explain as if they knew each other's most intimate secrets and for a long time that gave Leonel nightmares, it bothered and annoyed him the fact that Alexandre seemed too attached to another person that wasn't him, and he let the blond know it, achieving only annoyance from him, with the passing of time he managed to tolerate it and now he almost appreciates it, Ellian's presence always distracted Alexandre enough to disconnect him from his person and him from the weight that his decisions sometimes gave him.

"The family of Alexandre Dubois" announced the newly arrived doctor, together with a nurse, both with papers in hand and serious faces.

Leonel stood up together with Ellian practically running towards the health personnel shouting "We".

"The patient is stable, he suffered a very serious alcohol intoxication, he was close to a coma, it would be best if he stays away from alcohol for a while".

"Will he wake up soon?" asked Ellian with irritated eyes, the doctor nodded.

"As soon as he does and we check his conscious state, you can come in to see him, until then, be well".

Silence spread among the four of them, Lucius who had remained silent so far approached Leonel when he saw him drop into the uncomfortable seats with a dejected face, and Dean took a reluctant Ellian, to get a coffee and something sweet, the youngest suffered from nerves and under stressful situations his stomach suffered the ravages so having something in him, would help a lot.

"Something you want to tell" he asked without looking at the red-haired man, who with his eyes lost somewhere on the floor denied and took a deep breath, the blond next to him nodded even if he knew that yes, that behind this disaster there was some reason that involved as always Alexandre and Leonel, Leonel and Alexandre, "You mean he only decided to drink alcohol because he did, Alexandre, the boy who with a beer falls down" he denied, "Don't insult my intelligence, Leonel".

"I'm not, really Lucius, I don't know why..."

"You told him you were going to marry Rose, didn't you? It wasn't a question, Lucius was looking at him angrily and Leonel, as it hadn't happened for a long time, felt like a scolded child.

Lucius was someone close to him, who happened to be in love with Dean at some point in his life, although previously he lived tucked between the legs of any girl he found attractive enough, according to him, he discovered himself when he met Dean, because he had never been happier, Leonel accepted him, supported him and continued their friendship, he was not homophobic and together with the blond they had been great friends for years, so seeing that look of anger, and reproach was not satisfactory, Leonel did not like to be judged, because even if he denied it, he cared a lot about other people's opinion.

"I..."

"Did you tell the man who has loved you for years and put up with all your rudeness that you're getting married?"

Leonel gasped like a fish out of water and swallowed nervously, he wasn't afraid, but for some reason his body trembled like a tree leaf in the wind, the words hurt him because with them came the image of a wounded Alexandre in a hospital bed and the worst diagnoses and with it came back the torture he had imposed on himself during the hour he had been waiting for news.

The black-haired man looked at the floor and nodded, he looked small, weak and Lucius grunted getting up from the chair.

He wasn't Alexandre's best friend, he left that role to Ellian and even Dean, but he was fond of him and loved him like the little brother who always clings to your pants and asks for advice because he sees you as an example to follow, a pure being who didn't deserve shit, however he was also Leonel's best friend and that's why he pissed him off even more.

"I can't believe it" Leonel didn't look at him, in fact he kept his eyes on the ground as if that was the only way to stay stable in himself.

"This is not my fault".

"Are you fucking with me?" Lucius was furious, angry, and tired of knowing that his friend, Leonel was a heartless son of a bitch and bastard "Of course it's your fault!"

"It's not!" he denied "I didn't tell him to get drunk, I..."

"You gave him a reason to do it!" he exploded trying to control himself as he remembered they were in a hospital, he ran his hand over his face, he looked exasperated "Fucking son of a bitch".

"This is not my fault".

"Are you blind?" he asked her as if there really was doubt in him "Alexandre has been in love with you for years".

"And that's why it's my fault?" Lucius' face went from fury to surprise. "I've always been a friend to him, it's not my fucking fault.

"You're a fucking son of a bitch" both faces turned to find a very pale Ellian- "Did you know Alexandre was in love with you? Did you know and yet...? Yet..."

"Ellian".

"Don't touch me" he shouted interrupting Lucius, "You're a fucking bastard, all these years. How can you look him in the face, how can you?"

Ellian was losing his temper just a little, Alexandre was like a brother to him, in fact possibly the only thing he really wanted and cared about in life, he watched him suffer bitterly for Leonel, and appealing to the fact that the red-haired man suffered from innocent to everything, he never wanted to get in the way, however, apparently he was wrong all this time.

"Why is everyone yelling at me like I'm a fucking monster, I haven't done anything wrong!"

"You're unbelievable" Dean said this time, calm and peaceful, inside burning with rage, but without losing control, he was the most focused of the three of them "I just hope, you understand what your silence has done, Alexandre is a fool for falling in love with an egoist like you, but you're a complete shit for using his feelings against him and manipulating them to your convenience".

The nurse appeared and noticed the teary eyes and the tense atmosphere before asking to go with him, however they all refused to go in, asking Leonel to go first since they didn't know if they could control themselves when they saw the blond.

"You can go and look him in the eyes as if nothing" Lucius said loudly enough, "but remember that you are the cause of his pain. Just leave him before we lose him completely" looking at his friend, Leonel almost laughed at such words.

"Alexandre is not fucking suicidal" Lucius nodded, however it was a calmer Ellian who responded.

"Of course not" he smiled sadly, "Alexandre is just in love.

Leonel had never taken those words seriously, love? that was something he believed he only experienced in the romantic sphere when he met Rose, and although he loved the red-haired girl he didn't think he was crazy enough to kneel down and let himself die, so maybe sometimes and because of the education he received as well as personal experiences, Leonel was a little obtuse, dense enough to find it hard to understand the complexity or part of the great emotional diversity of the human being and how it can help him grow or destroy him completely.

It was different from Alexandre, who always tried to take everything with care, Alexandre took too much care of other people's emotions, so much that perhaps, he neglected his own, and the red-haired man knew it, it was in the blond's nature to take care of others, to live for others, so while Leonel opened the door and entered, seeing the slim body, there, on the white sheets, and the constant beeping of the monitor marking stable vital signs, something settled in his stomach.

Alexandre looked strange, he looked thin, pale and very sad, how could anyone even look sad while sleeping? Leonel really didn't want to know the answer however he imagined and could swear he could hear Alexandre's voice saying.

It's because his soul is sad, empty enough to ask his heart to wither away and force him to hide his smile.

Had it been him, had he been the culprit?

Alexandre is a fool for falling in love with an egoist like you, but you are a complete shit for using his feelings against him and manipulating them to your convenience.

"It was difficult, he consumed a lot of alcohol, he could have died, apparently he also did it with certain pills, we sent blood for tests to the lab, he is lucky to be alive" the nurse's voice sounded a bit distant, I could almost swear it wasn't even clear enough.

Why was his chest hurting?

You knew Alexandre was in love with you, you knew that and yet.... Still...

No, it wasn't his fault, he didn't ask Alexandre to love him beyond a friendship or wait like an idiot for him to magically one day wake up changing his taste in pussy for dick, they were friends, brothers and he didn't want to lose him nor would he, the blond would at some point forget about him as a man, and they would move on, he couldn't lose him....

You almost did today, he almost died, his conscience nagged him as he approached the bed and took the small hand, why was she so thin, did he never notice how much Alexandre had lost weight?

Have you ever even noticed him enough, her conscience asked again.

Leonel was never one to cry, in fact he had rarely cried, and Alexandre had always been there for him, and now, now the blond was there, lying there in pain, because of him?

It was true he always knew it, but, more than keeping him by his side, despite his infatuation, he was more afraid of losing him, Alexandre was his to fuck.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered looking at his hand "I didn't want to, I swear I didn't want it to come to this, if I had known Alexandre, if only, I had ever thought you could make this decision I would have pushed you away" he cried, he broke down "You are my best friend, a brother, my little boy, and you don't know how much I hate to make you suffer but I don't want to lose you, you are part of me, my child, even if you love me, and I ...I can never do it, but please stay, don't leave me, wake up and look me in the eyes and tell me you love me".

Leonel felt only a sob, the voice breaking and the crying heavy and horrible, he looked up slowly and in the direction of the boy who until only seconds ago remained inconsistent, now with his eyes open, crying and so broken, that Leonel really doubted if whatever broke, would come back together again.

Alexandre is just in love.