Chapter 3 After Destroying Me They Made Me An Offer

As usually happens in many Hollywood productions, it all started with an accident; but not a lab accident. A stupid traffic accident. An idiot was driving and checking his cell phone while another idiot crossed the street without looking. Just two guys that luck decided to make them meet. Something so trivial and uninteresting that no one would´ve imagined the consequences.

That´s right: I was a man. But don´t misunderstand me. It´s not what it seems.

As for the driver you´d imagine he would hit the gas and run away. But he didn´t. Not that he was a very responsible person, but he didn´t want to get into legal trouble. And this is because, in his work area, you can´t have legal problems.

As for me, fortunately I couldn´t feel the body below my neck. In my last moments of awareness, I thought how nice the breeze was... cooling my face and ruffling my hair... My eyes closed after seeing a blurry guy getting out of the car and clutch his head. It was quite some time before I woke up again, or so I thought. In the midst of fantastic images of what I later understood to be a dream, I was flying between clouds and stormy winds; and I had the nice feeling that I was finally in the right place. Then I began to feel something that was stuck in my face. My naked body and my feminine parts felt the touch of the wind and the patter of the raindrops, and my whole being shook with the lightning that ran around me.

I know dreaming of being a girl is cliche, but I guess dreams can´t be controlled.

Then I felt a hand pass over my forehead, and I opened my eyes to find myself in a metal bed in what looked like a hospital. The nurse was startled to see me waking up so suddenly, and immediately went to the hall to call the doctor. Or at least I thought so. Something was holding my head and neck in one position, and I figured it was a neck brace. The funny thing is that I didn´t care.

To tell you the truth, I guess I was disappointed of still being alive. Sometimes I dreamed of a zombie apocalypse.

That damn body... I would´ve preferred to stay in that dream. That weak and flawed body finally played one last trick on me: making me a paraplegic.

Not that as a child I was a very sick creature, particularly weak or anything like that. But since my adolescence that physical form called "male", the curse with which I was born, has caused me a tremendous repulsion. It was actually kind of funny now that I think about it. Although I didn´t think so at the time.

We´ve all seen those movies where, by some magical device or wish made on a shooting star, two people switch bodies and must learn to understand each other. Well, it was not a spell, nor did I ask the stars; although I suspect that the cosmos has helped me more than necessary.

Instead of a doctor in a lab coat, who entered the room was a tall guy with glasses who looked like an office worker; and I immediately realized it was the same driver. The guy looked at me like a kid who just broke something and is afraid of a reprimand. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. The respirator was starting to annoy me, and I was just waking up. As I settled into the rhythm of that thing, I opened my eyes and tried to tell the time by the dim light coming through the window. I figured it was early morning.

I found it funny that the first person to care to see me was the one who almost killed me, and not someone in my family. The guy approached a little timidly, almost as if asking permission. That bothered me greatly. Not the fact that he came closer, but the fact that I couldn´t get to my feet. I always hated when some guy stood up next to me while I was sitting down. Imagine bedridden.

There was a chair, so I expected him to sit down; but he seemed to want to speak standing up. He also gave the impression of asking permission to speak.

"Well, I want... I..."

"Sit down," I interrupted. "I assume I am in a hospital."

"In a clinic... or something like that. A private institution with access to great medical resources."

Then I looked towards the half-open door and noticed, on the outside, a small board with numbers. At that moment I was alarmed, since there was nothing I could do to get out of there; and yet that door´s security system was outside the room.

What danger could be expected to come, or to get out of the room?

It looked like one of those stupid movies again.

"I suppose you will bear all the expenses," I said sarcastically, and I noticed to my surprise that the air in the place felt exaggeratedly clean and perfumed.

No hospital or clinic I´ve ever been to before went so far as to even satisfy the noses of their patients. Not helpful if hundreds of patients are going to counter good smells with their own body odors. It was a nice touch.

"I guess... my family is not out there."

"Well no. I don´t... We have no idea how to contact them... or who you are. You didn´t have documents on you, so we couldn´t..."

"Of course I had no documents. I was going to do the shopping, not to vote."

"So... what is your name, and your family number?"

"And this place... does it have a name? Where am I?"

"If you calm down, I´ll be able to explain it to you." He said doubtfully while taking a breath. "Do you remember anything about the accident?"

I tried to nod, but...

"What am I supposed to remember? People´s voices on the street? The noise of cars pounding in my ears? The flowers from the house on the corner before crossing the street? Your car´s license plate?"

He nodded looking at the ground.

"I can see your memory works very well."

"It´s the first time someone says that to me," I said wanting to laugh, and annoyed with the monotonous short breath the device allowed me.

So I wondered if he was one of the doctors. Of course he didn´t look like one, but the conversation wasn´t like a coffee chat.

"So you haven´t told my family."

"Until we know your name... and a phone number we can call..."

"I would like to call them myself, but I don´t know where I am."

"I´ll explain everything... step by step. But I need you to make sure..."

"What?"

"That you won´t go into shock. That you are not going to..."

"That I´m not gonna make a scandal."

"Well..."

"Don´t worry. I´m not gonna cry either. Although I will admit that... I´m a little worried. You´ll understand..."

"Okay. I´ll explain it all."

The next half an hour was spent in technical talk about how I had suffered damage in different parts of my spine, for which I was immobilized from the neck down; as if I hadn´t noticed. He talked about how his organization would compensate me by providing all the necessary medical care, and how they desperately needed me to sign some papers.

I was about to tell him to stop treating me like an idiot, but I stopped myself.

"What is this? You don´t even know my name... and you want me to sign a waiver of rights?"

"It is the only condition in exchange for... well... Do you want them to help you or not?"

"Yes, why not? Let me check with my family."

"Do you plan to continue with that? Or can we get serious?"

"You can do whatever you want. I just... What I want is... For everything to end."

Too melodramatic now that I think about it.

As he bit his lower lip in impatience, a figure in a white lab coat that I hadn´t been able to see moved from the corner of the room.

"If you are depressed about your condition..."

A guy with curls and the look of a sleepless mad scientist approached with a strange hopeful look.

"I think we can help you. You will walk again... And much more. As long as... of course... you can help us."

"It means... you can fix me?"

"Well, yes."

"And make me walk again."

"Of course! Everything will be just as always!"

For a few moments I had considered it a good offer. But as always...? That boring life where the most exciting part of the day was watching the latest episode of an anime series? Going to class, traveling by train, do the shopping, water the plants, feed the dogs, studying until my eyes are tired and finally entertain myself with the cell phone until I fall asleep?

I could count more times that I woke up wondering if getting up was worth it than the times I fell asleep feeling I had done something productive. There was nothing that I was passionate about. Nothing. At times like these I tried to blank my mind, trying to create an inner silence long enough to let something true emerge from within. But at that time nothing came of it. I saw absolutely nothing more than those fantasies in which sometimes one gets lost trying to imagine it´s the real world and this here is the false one. Daydreams we wish would last much longer than that meaningless vigil.

"So everything just as always..." I said without the slightest emotion, with a lost look and a noticeable disappointment on my face.

"Of course, if you don´t like what you are... we can change you," said the subject as if he were excited.

"You can? How...? Change me? In what sense?"

"I can´t explain it to you yet... until you accept our conditions," he clarified, holding a folder with some kind of documents.

To risk myself allowing them to do something crazy on me, or to make sure I live as a useless head attached to this even more useless body...

"You don´t need to worry. We won´t use you as a spare part depot," he said with an almost innocent giggle.

He guessed my thoughts. I guess anyone would.

For a few moments I considered how obviously stupid it would be to sign papers whose implications I didn´t know; but considering the alternative, you can imagine that my decision satisfied them big way.

"And how am I supposed... to do that... signing?"

"Oh, don´t worry. You can use a digital signature, using a voice recording. Just let me take care of it."