Chapter 3 Femeka

Femeka was a church member a doctor, tall, fair, and smelled good. I felt like this was my first mature man, so I needed to hold on tight. The first day we met, he invited me over to his place and we had sex. His penis was so big it couldn't even fit. I was in so much pain. Femeka was a young man in an old man's body. I loved his penis. I became dickmatized. I loved the pain that came with the penetration and told myself I'd get used to it eventually. He lived very close to my parents' house. Femeka had a way of making me orgasm through fingering, and I craved it constantly. It was like a thirst.

At the time, I was waiting for my GCE results. A few days later, Emeka told me he was getting married to his ex the same one he'd told me he had broken up with. I was so shocked, I just laughed. Meanwhile, the Igbo man on the other end of the phone was crying. I was mesmerized. After all the sex, the bruises, and being dickmatized, he just dumped me and went back to his ex, i hated him.

Two days later, my GCE results came out F9 across the board. Oh dear Jesus. I was broken all over again. Torn. All my mates were moving forward, all in school, and I was at home getting heart broken by a man and failing my exams. I thought I had scaled through my GCE, and I had passed my JAMB, so I began preparing for my post-UTME exams for the University of Calabar.

Femeka and I kept talking, but I stood my ground: no more sex. I had a pet name for him-Panda. He was cute, cuddly, and huge. His third leg-I've never seen anything like that again, till date. I always wondered about the woman who could take all that. Geez.

Anyway, I went off to UNICAL to write my post-UTME. I did the exam and came home. Still stuck in on-and-off flirting with Samuel. Stuck between phones, broken, and unhealed from things I didn't even know had hurt me. I didn't know I needed a break to be alone. That's how I kept jumping from one nonsense conversation to another, chasing connections. Connections I only had with a few people.

While on the road for my post-UTME, I met Sibe a fair albino guy. I didn't know if he liked me for real or just wanted to date, but I knew he was boring. I treated him badly. He seemed like a local Igbo boy but acted like an old man, despite being young. He was awkward but had the most beautiful soul. We kicked off an amazing friendship. I liked him at the moment.

We both got admission into UNICAL. I think he got Economics, and I got Education-Economics. He helped me check my admission status, and I was excited. I told my parents. We were all happy. But remember I hadn't passed my WAEC or GCE. That failure lingered over me daily. The more effort I put in, the more I failed. I prayed, but still failed. Which way, God?

The day to travel for screening came. I was off to Calabar. I stayed with a family in Satellite Town, Old School Road 2-my dad's people. A big house. Quiet people who minded their business. During my screening process, I met an Akwa Ibom guy Felvin.

A few months in, we kicked off a relationship. I told Femeka, who got jealous. Femeka wanted to keep a relationship with me despite being married. I refused. We remained friends. Femeka was jealous I had found a new guy. Oh he was pissed.

One thing drew me to Felvin: he was funny, tall, and fine. He said he attended Maritime Academy and was going to become a navy officer. I was impressed and jumped into a relationship with him. i have to tell you we girls are oppurtunist, i wasnt even interested in money all that but anyways we started solid. The relationship was okay no intense romance or chemistry. The sex was okay too. His dick wasn't as big as Femeka's. The kiss wasn't as good as Samuel's.

Still, I stayed and managed, because i felt like there was noone and i just wanted to be in a relationship.

During the course of our relationship, I valued communication especially via chat. But Felvin couldn't text to save his life. He could barely construct a sentence. I knew I had work to do. I went through our chats, wrote down all his grammatical errors along with corrections, and handed the paper to him. I was so serious, I didn't find it funny until now. In fact, typing this makes me laugh.

He didn't find it funny either. He tore the paper up in anger, though he tried to play it off as a joke. I decided to manage him. Tthrough managing him i kept seeing how my friends dated rich handsome and educated men, i kept wondering why i couldnt score a man too. I stopped considering Felvin as a man.

Then came the issue of his education. I wondered why he was always around me and broke when he was supposed to be in school. I brought it up and told him to go back. Felvin went for a few weeks and returned, saying he missed me. Felvin refused to go back to school. That was when I began to lose interest in the relationship.

Let's talk about the church I started attending while with Felvin. I forced Felvin to join me.

During my screening in UNICAL, I met a pastor on my way home. He called out to me. I ignored him at first, but he pulled out his phone to show me a photo of his wife, saying he wasn't trying to chyke me up. His name was Pastor Eja.

He came closer and said God had shown him things about me. He said I had a father who worked abroad but had nothing to show for it. That I had been struggling to pass my WAEC and GCE, and that it wasn't my fault. He said there was a spiritual dog that when it was time for my papers to be marked, the dog would appear and the marker would get angry and fail me.

Hello? Are you still with me? I became scared. Cold. Who was this man? I had never met him before. How did he know so much about me? I was in shock. I had never experienced anything like that before. I became hyper-aware of myself.

Let me shock you further: he said I was too timid and that God wanted me to come out of it. God wanted me to pass my exams. He also said the man who dis-virgined me used an evil ring to finger me. Do you all remember Rolls? That story?

I looked around. I had told no one that story. Who was this stranger speaking my secrets out loud? He said he wanted to pray for me and invited me to his church Serenity Vill.

I went home and sat in my room in shock. I decided I must attend that church. Eager and ready for my change and deliverance.

At Serenity Vill, it was all deliverance. The number of people who were supposedly possessed baffled me. I had never seen anything like that before. Far from my parents and in shock, I didn't think I was being deceived this man had been too precise. I hadn't told anyone those things.

As soon as I got to the church, there was an altar call. I went forward. Deliverance and laying of hands began. I wanted to experience it, feel what it was like. I told myself when it was my turn, I would let go.

When the pastor got to me, I started shouting at the top of my lungs. Till today, I don't know why. I screamed, eyes shut, jumping around. The pastor asked, "Who brought this one?" and everyone responded, "Pastor Eja."

He said, "Eja is always bringing the strong ones," and laughed. When assistant pastors held me down, they asked, "Who are you in this body?" I screamed, "I don't know!" Still struggling, and then they delivered me. I went quiet.

These events kept happening, and I don't know why I played along. I began visiting Pastor Eja's house. He was a nice man with a beautiful family, but like he said I was timid. I would sit until he told me to leave. I hated going, but he always wanted me there. He started asking me for money. I gave what I had.

Eventually, I roped Felvin into Trinity Villa. I'm sure he had reservations, but he didn't speak for fear of losing me.