Chapter 2

After my father's funeral was finished, I returned home that evening.

Josh still hadn't come back.

The house felt eerily quiet and empty, like a hollow shell, with only the newly hung photo of my father on the wall bringing a semblance of life to the space.

I was left in the dark about Josh's whereabouts after Kate's birthday party.

He hadn't mentioned anything to me.

I remembered when we first got married, Josh was like any other young husband, constantly updating me on his whereabouts, even though we worked at the same hospital.

He would eagerly text me, even before performing surgeries.

But everything seemed to change after Kate transferred to our hospital.

Once she joined and was assigned to the same department as Josh, they started spending more time together, from attending meetings to picking up delivery.

Josh, who used to visit my department during his breaks, now often spent time chatting with Kate.

I questioned him about this change, but he just looked at me helplessly and said, "Kate and I were college classmates. It's normal for me to look out for her as a senior since she's new here."

He assured me that he only loved me and urged me not to overthink.

I believed him and smiled, nodding in agreement.

I still vividly remembered him crying at our wedding, promising to treat me well for the rest of our lives.

But once was fine; when it happened repeatedly, it was hard to bear.

My wild thoughts had turned into disappointment.

Disappointment from his repeated unwillingness to explain, and from his constant choice of Kate over me.

I now feel I lack the courage to endure this disappointment any longer.

I picked up my phone and dialed a relative who was a lawyer.

"Nora, why are you considering divorce right after your father's passing?" The concerned voice came on the other end.

I choked up, unsure of what to say for a moment.

"I'm just a bit tired, " I replied.

Sensing my sadness, my relative refrained from pressing further and instead offered some advice, "It's important for a couple to live well together. If it's not a matter of principle, I suggest you reconsider."

In the eyes of relatives and friends, Josh was a perfect husband.

Not only was he my father's apprentice, but we also worked at the same hospital.

We seemed to have no conflicts and appeared very much in love.

But only I knew how exhausting it was to have unreciprocated feelings.

I no longer wanted to be the one trying to maintain the relationship.

It was better to be alone and at peace than together and weary.

I understood this the moment my father was wheeled into the operating room, and I realized the importance of self-reliance.

"I've made up my mind. I want a divorce."

My father was gone, the person who loved me the most had left.

I think it was time for me to be my own support and not rely on anyone else.