Chapter 4 I Need Help

I read the letter over and over again, my heart beating rapidly in my chest every damn minute. This is something I should be happy about, what I had wished for has finally been brought to me. But then, I am not happy. There's no way I'm gonna leave Ethan for another woman. I can't even bring myself to accept that.

I drop the letter on the table and begin to pace around the room. So many things flowed into my mind, questions I didn't have an answer to.

I decided to reach out to my friend for help. I pick up my phone from the table and swipe it to unlock it. Instantly, Rowan's photo that I snapped earlier popped up and I stared at it for a while, his magnificent body, so alluring my sight. I saved it into my device, then swiped the phone to the call log.

I got her contact quickly and hit the call button. The phone rang for a while, but she didn't pick up. I decided to try again for the last time, and fortunately, she received it.

" Hello girl. What's up?" Her voice came through as I placed the phone on my ear.

" Hi Rebecca. How are you doing?"

" I'm good and you?" She asked.

" I can't really say I'm fine." I place my left hand on my forehead.

" Is everything alright?" I could notice the concern in her voice.

" Are you at home right now?"

"Nope! I'm on the road actually, heading home you-know."

" Can you make it to my place, please? I really need your help. I......." I gulped down, unable to speak further.

" Lorelei!"

" I don't know what to do, I'm confused." I added.

" Can you tell me what the matter is?"

" It's not something we should discuss on the phone. We need to sit down and talk about it." I responded and there's silence from the other end. " Are you there Rebecca? Rebecca!"

" Yeah, I am. I'm sorry, I was just trying to see my schedule, if I can make it."

" So what do you say?" I asked anxiously.

"Your house right?" She asked.

" Yes!"

" Okay, I'm coming over right now. I'll be there shortly."

" Oh! Thank you so much, Rebecca. Thank you."

" No problem."

" I'll be waiting." I added and hung up. I drop the phone on the table and dash into the kitchen to prepare something for my friend. Rebecca likes food a lot. I know her very well, because we've been friends since childhood. When her parents died in a fetal accident, my father took her in. And ever since then, we've been doing things together. We went to the same school and graduated at the same time. She's a shoulder for me to lean on when Rowan broke up with me. I was devastated, but she's there for me like a sister and a friend.

It didn't take long for me to finish cooking. The moment I turned off the gas, I heard the doorbell. I quickly rushed out of the kitchen to the sitting room and moved straight to the door.

I opened the door and gave Rebecca a warm hug. But she didn't reciprocate. I guess she's surprised, because she didn't expect such a motive from me.

From the look on her face as I disengage from the hug, I can tell she really is.

" Come inside." I held her hand and dragged her in, then shut the door.

" What's the deal?" She asked, her face brightening a little.

" We will talk about it later, let's go to the dining room first."

" Is this the same person that called me some minutes ago?" She furrowed her brows and I chuckled.

" Of course it is. Please sit." I pushed a chair for her to sit down and hurried to the kitchen.

" Hope you prepared my favorite!!!" She half yelled.

" Definitely!" I replied and in a minute, I returned to the dining room with a plate of food in my hands. I didn't put much for myself, cause it's not too long since I ate.

" So what was that about? I'm really curious right now." Rebecca asked the moment I sat down.

" How about when we finish eating? I said and picked the cutlery, while she stared at me.

" Okay, if you say so."

There's silence afterwards. And even when we were eating, I couldn't stop thinking about the whole thing. We finished eating some minutes later, and Rebecca helped me to pack the plate to the kitchen.

" All done, so.......?" She wiped her mouth and raised her shoulders as she came out from the kitchen.

" Take a seat." I drew a chair closer to my side and she sat down on it. The smile on my face vanishes instantly, and sadness overtakes me. " There's a problem Rebecca." I blurted out and bit my lips.

" What is it? Is it about Ethan?" Her eyes widened as I nodded my head. " Don't tell me it's what I'm thinking?" She added and I shook my head negatively, although I didn't know what's on her mind.

" I saw Rowan today."

" Really?"

" And he wants me back?"

" Wait!" She raised her hand, you're kidding right?"

" Let me show you something." I stood up from the chair and walked to the sitting room, to get the letter Rowan gave me earlier. When I got back to her, I handed the letter to her and sat down, folding my arms.

" When did you get this?" Rebecca raises the paper to my face.

" Today." I replied and took it from her. " He's close by. Our neighbor, so to say."

" Neighbor?"

" Yeah! We met today and he gave me this."

" Do you still love him?" She asked.

" Love him," I repeated and stood up. " Do I?" I turn my back to her as I battle in my head. " I don't think so. I don't love him, Rebecca. But I......." I paused and walked back to the chair.

" You do what?" She raised her brows.

" I still want him. I don't know, I'm confused. That's why I called you. I really need your help in this."

" You have to make a decision. Who do you love among them? You've been talking about Rowan these days and......" She sighed and shook her head, " who do you really love among them? Ethan or Rowan?"

" I think I love Ethan. I just crave for Rowan because he can satisfy me sexually. Remember what I told you about Ethan's refusal to dominate me?"

" Yeah, I do."

" So I've not really been happy about it."

"Then are you ready to forgive Rowan? Are you ready to give him a second chance?" She asked.

" Do you think I should give him a chance?" I asked, still confused.

" Well, if you're in a relationship, and you're not happy in that relationship, then there's no point remaining there. I know it's been long since you guys broke up, but you know that we left California a month after the issue. And who knows if he'd regretted his actions and came back, but unfortunately he couldn't find you anymore. If you think that Rowan is the right man for you, if you think that he will make you happy, then why not?"

" Ethan makes me happy, and....."

" Sexually?" She raised her brows.

" But I love Ethan."

" Forget about that crazy feeling called love. Your happiness is more important. And aside from that, I believe that if you give Rowan a chance, the old feelings you had for him will return, and you'll be happy again. I recall when you and Rowan were dating, he never hesitated to give you anything you wanted. He cared, about you, he made sure that you're happy as long as you're submissive to him."

" That's true." I nodded my head in anticipation.

" But Ethan....." She paused and continued. " He doesn't care. It's like he's using you. He only cares about himself, which isn't good for you. You deserve to be happy Lorelei. And a man who's not capable of doing that, isn't worth your love."

" He has his reasons, you-know." I defended.

" As long as I remember, he never told you anything about it. Did he? I won't be surprised if he's seeing another woman."

" No, I don't think so." I shook my head, refusing to think about such a thing. Ethan that I know would never do that. He loves me so much. No! I refuse to believe.

" You'll never know, until you see it. That's how they behave if they don't really like you. I'll advise you to give Rowan a chance, I think he's regained his senses." She said sternly.