Chapter 5 V

Jane had already restarted the rosary three times because she had lost count. Whenever she let her mind wander just a little, Rowan's face would appear to make her forget why she was punishing herself.

One place that her father loved and took pride in more than anything in the house was the greenhouse behind the house. Perhaps he loved the grapes and strawberries grown in that glass dome more than anything else in his life, even his daughters and his missing wife.

Given his enthusiasm for such plants, he would show the place off to anyone who visited, and it was no different with Rowan. Courteous as he was, he didn't refuse his host's invitation and listened to him talk for hours about leaf colour, soil care and the most effective ways to water them with an interested expression on his face that kept Jeremiah talking for hours.

Jane stood behind them in silence. She played with her fingers for much of the time after lunch and only spoke when they addressed her, as much out of shyness as nervousness. Her rehearsals in front of the mirror weren't utilised because her father kept Rowan entertained without her having to say anything.

At some point between her father's monologues, Jane felt confident enough to look at Rowan's face for a while longer. He was distracted by Jeremiah's explanation of the difference in flavour between fruit produced on a large scale and that produced in small greenhouses, so he didn't notice how long she stared at him, amazed by every feature of his face.

Jane wasn't someone who usually favoured anything. She was a simple woman with simple taste, but the moment she was able to look more calmly at that man, she knew that if there was an ideal type in the world for her, it would be the same or similar to Rowan Jansing.

His tailored black suit, neatly slicked back black hair and the limited edition watch on his wrist gave him the professional air of someone who was only there to do business, but the tender impression on his face gently refuted this idea.

Even though his suit had the perfect fit, it was visible even through the thin fabric of his blouse that he had a toned, muscular body. With a broad back, firm hands and arms that Jane could only assume he had worked out from a very young age, he would be a perfect model for a sculptor from Greek mythology to take inspiration from when creating divine figures.

Of course, the features of his body weren't as marked by the clothes as Jane wanted, so most of it was left to her imagination. This wasn't a problem, as she had a fertile imagination that she wasn't too proud of.

Perfectly balanced with the rest of his body, his face was at least the most beautiful she'd ever had the chance to see. His teeth were as white as milk, his nose slightly curved and his chin square. His eyes carried the mysteries of the ocean floor.

Rowan's lips were plump and well-shaped in an inviting way. Jane had never been curious about them before, but seeing that mouth making gentle movements as he spoke made her wonder what they might taste like.

The moment she realised this thought, she looked away. She clenched her fingers in her palms and bit her lower lip to suppress her promiscuous thoughts. It was wrong, she couldn't just let the intrusive thoughts take over.

Rowan had left a long time ago and she still needed to stay alert so that this moment wouldn't fill her with confused thoughts again. Even though she didn't know exactly why, she knew that her body's reactions were not a good sign.

Her inexperience didn't make her naïve. One of her roommates at boarding school had already shown her inappropriate videos on her secret mobile phone when they were fourteen, so she recognised the curiosity that swept through her, starting a subtle tingling that ran from her stomach to the middle of her legs.

The reason she was endlessly praying the rosary in her hands until her fingers cramped as she held each wooden bead was the same reason she had spent hours asking for forgiveness the night she saw that video.

A woman could only have that kind of thought for her husband, and perhaps even that exceeded God's will. She needed to keep herself pure and untouched until her wedding day, since she would no longer be a nun in the future.

Jane opened her eyes slowly as she thought about this detail. After all, Rowan was already practically her husband. In a way, it wasn't so wrong to let those thoughts invade her mind.

Imagining the definitions and muscles of every part of the body of the man she would be sharing a bed with in the future wasn't completely wrong of her. Perhaps a little naive and desperate, but not a sin, so to speak.

While her desires seemed less transgressive to her, the tightness of her fingers on the rosary beads also lessened and they returned to their reddish colour as the blood began to circulate again.

Finally allowing her imagination to take unexplored directions, Jane sat down on the floor where she had been kneeling. Her eyes roamed over the rosary in her hand without really looking at it. Her head flooded with phrases that Rowan didn't say in his own voice, but which seemed perfectly attributable to him.

She didn't let herself be ridiculed for the way that just one meeting, when she hadn't even had the chance to talk to him directly, had left her in the clouds, she just let her curiosities be filled with Rowan Jansing in a simple and uncomplicated way.