Chapter 5 AURORA

Sunday arrived and finally there was a fanfare parade contest. I was excited to go along with my friend Robert because it was so much fun! Besides, I needed to distract myself because the week had been busy as I tried to escape Josh's numerous attempts to approach me.

He's very popular in high school and all the teachers seem to love him, and I wonder why.

I was with my friends and other classmates talking on the patio, we put the tables together and then Josh, intrusive and tough as he is, joined us and sat next to me, he almost made it, if it weren't for Fabiana who pushed him aside and sat down next to me. From his face, I saw that he was pissed off and I loved it. I didn't want him near me, because I needed to think. Everything Josh said everyone just laughed, while my friends and I just rolled our eyes - But it was inevitable to stop paying attention that he always kept his eyes on me, always watching me. The moment I got up from the table, he got up too and went to his room as I had gone to mine.

This was getting weird. What did he mean by all this? but I didn't want to know, it wasn't my business.

Friday arrived. Robert and I were sitting at the patio table looking at some drawings that Ava had drawn, a mutual friend we had from freshman year. Josh walked over to the water cooler and then sat right in front of me next to Ava.

'' Hey Ava, what are you doing? '' He said laughing and looking at me more than he should.

Robert was turning the pages of the drawing book and laughing at what was happening.

I pretended not to notice what was going on, of course.

'' Skipping class and you, man? '' He laughed '' I saw you yesterday, over on Tiradentes street.''

''Who? Myself?? ''Josh said.

'' Who else? '' Ava said rolling her eyes '' You stopped at a house there and left on a motorcycle with that girl, Giuliana.''

For the first time in his life, Josh ran out of color.

Her cheeks flushed and I swear if I had a cell phone at the time, I would record what happened, because it really was an unprecedented episode.

I wanted to laugh.

''Are you crazy Ava? Not myself. I was at the farm yesterday; you must have seen someone else and thought it was me '' He said nervously looking at me from under his eyes.

What's up with him?

Ava laughed.

'' Stop, you dick face. Your face doesn't burn, does it? I was in a car, man. I was going to scare you, but I let it go. You also stopped at the supermarket, Giuliana got out and you waited, then you went back with her to God knows where.''

Robert gave a fit of laughter while Josh was unresponsive for the first time.

''Stop it, Ava. Are you keep chasing me now?''

She laughed.

'' So you guys, I'm leaving, I can't miss this class now. See you all! ''We said goodbye to her while she put away her things from the table, including taking her sketchbook from Robert's hands, which was serving as a disguise to continue laughing.

When I turned around in front of me, Josh was studying me minutely, running his eyes over every detail of my face.

What's up? Are you checking if I'm really ugly? I spoke abruptly.

Although I was even tidy these days.

Unexpectedly, Robert grabbed my hand and dragged me away from the table and away from Josh.

'' Is something going on between you guys?''

I looked at him, shocked by these words.

'' Huh?''

'' Aurora, I was born yesterday but I'm not an idiot, ok? It's obvious that you guys got together, if you didn't, you'll get together. Girl! The boy was eating you with his eyes in the biggest dick face, when Ava said she saw him with a girl, I thought he was going to choke '' I had to laugh along with Robert against my will.

'' Shit! Ok, I'll tell you. We were really hooking up.... but we're not anymore. He's not for me, he's averse to everything I want in my life '' I said, trying to convince myself.

-

'' He's hot, but he's not worth five cents. In fact, the coin is even more expensive than he is '' Hearing Robert talking, I laid on his shoulder and laughed '' But there's something strange with

him in relation to you... I might be wrong; however, it seems to me that he is really interested in you.

I shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.

'' Whatever! I won't fall again '' I had to convince myself of that at any cost! He was fighting like crazy not to give in and he needed to win.

***

As I said before, I had the displeasure of meeting Josh, I was super happy eating cotton candy and laughing so hard at the steps that the fanfare people made and all the noise, that when I turned my face to the other side I found myself face to face with none other than Josh talking to a girl – I felt like someone had slowly plunged a knife into my heart, taking all the strength out of me and the breath out of my lungs.

Grit my teeth.

Our eyes locked onto each other. He looked shocked and surprised to see me there.

I didn't sketch anything; I didn't do anything.

Josh got up and I turned my face to the other side pretending to be listening to the fanfare. My eyes burned and my heart cried in anguish. When I looked over there again, he was gone. My day was undermined, and my heart was broken by so many conflicting feelings that left me breathless, I felt so angry with myself that I didn't know what else to do so that this pain didn't dominate me. Seeing him with another girl was very difficult, and sad and became a torment in my heart and mind. And that's when I discovered that I was madly, insanely, and desperately in love with Josh Bertini. And I knew that if I didn't act, it would be the same as my mother with my father, and I wouldn't surrender to that, even though I was loving him, I would choose myself for the first time in my entire life. And the only solution at the moment was to surrender to a new love and a new story, if I limited myself to Josh, I would suffer for the rest of my life.