Chapter 3 The Bitterness

Carl's POV

Elissa and I have been in a relationship for five years, and the two of us are wanting to get married. Back and forth to California because she had a business there to take care of. In one year, I spent a month with her in California for vacation and just to be with her. We have visited almost all of the country, and we both love adventure.

She has so many dreams in life that she says almost all of them have come true. I support her in everything she wants as much as I can. The zest of our romance and I feel is endless. But, everything has an end.

One year I couldn't take a vacation because we had an important mission and it wasn't just for fun. Before the day of our mission began, I said goodbye to use one month of my sick leave. I knew that when I was on a mission I would not be with my girlfriend for a long time. I am very thankful that I was allowed to.

I took Elissa to her favorite beautiful spot in Los Angeles. We were so happy, her smile and laughter were incomparable. With her, my world revolves when I'm not at work. Once, I believed in the saying, "When you love someone, you give everything."

I love her so I did the right thing. I am confident in myself because she is the woman of my dreams and I have loved her dearly my whole life. And I know she is the same as me. She made me feel that she loved me.

Until the day comes for me to do my mission. Little did Elissa know that before I embarked on the mission I had talked to my private detective to find out everything she was going to do: where to go, even the people to talk to, and her business partners.

We have communication and that is texting, calling, chatting, and video calls. Not always, as long as we have a conversation schedule. We understand our situation because of the nature of my work.

At first monitoring, it was still fine. I saw no change in her when talking, using our social media accounts. But there was a chance that I received a photo of her with someone, at the sights, she was going to. A male business partner even visits her.

This man's face was unfamiliar to me, as I had already met her business partners. I carefully instructed my private detective about this.

I don't tell her that when we talk on the video call, that just doesn't matter to me. I'm not easily jealous as long as I don't get evidence. It took another two months and they were still set up.

In the third month, a photo came as a message on my cell phone. They were photographed at a hotel where they checked in. The time and day when it happened are also stated, as well as a copy of the CCTV is included and it is confirmed.

I was depressed when I saw it all. Since I was still on the mission, I had to weigh my emotions. Since then she has rarely talked to me in texts, chats, and even in video calls. She always said to be tired when I talk via texting.

I understood her, I didn't want to confront her first, I preferred to talk in person so that I could see her real reaction.

Once when I was talking to her on a video call, someone suddenly entered the room where she was sitting. That was the man in the picture sent to me by my private investigator. I investigated without her knowing. I was surprised by what happened next, when the man entered he kissed Elissa on the lips.

It was obvious to both of my eyes, and he even called her, "Babe" in conjunction with the reaching of the bouquet. Elissa knew I had seen it all, she reached for the laptop and folded causing it to die.

It was as if a drum of cold water had been poured on me. I hit the table almost to pieces. I felt so bad, that I lost my seat. I don't care if people can hear me or not. I poured out all my anger, I fell to the floor because I felt like I was being stabbed by thousands of knives.

I pulled my head out. What am I lacking from her? I thought we understood each other but I'm the only one who understands her? She is a cheater!

I allowed myself to feel the pain. Other staff just let me down with what they saw in me. Being an official at work, especially the struggle that was so hard I was able to cope and overcome but to be hurt like this in love was like I was going to die.

I got drunk to reduce the pain she caused in my heart but I was frustrated.

Do I have to feel it first before it disappears? In doing my mission it haunts my mind. I tried to control my emotions so that my work will not be affected. I was trying to finish my mission without giving up.

But each day, instead of relieving the pain it seemed to get even more complicated because my head became hot. I was overcome by emotional devastation. I'm in the middle of my mission but I feel like I can't finish it.

I'm in the office to report because we take care of a lot but nothing enters my brain. I can't move and I can't make good decisions. I'm so exhausted and in pain. I wanted to kill people because of the pain I felt until I realized I was crying. That's right, I'm a man but I'm crying because it's not just a woman who cries. I am now proving it to myself.

I let my tears flow as I sat at my desk.

I have done my job well for seven years as a Law Enforcement. I suddenly thought of resigning, with all the pain I was going through it was really what I thought.

I made a resignation letter and handed it to the highest official. I know I can't just resign but let me try. I was right in front of the person to whom I handed the resignation letter. He looked at me and shook, indicating not to sign and approve.

"If you don't sign my resignation letter, I'll be fine!" I said angrily in front of my officer.

My eyes were squinting and glaring at him, I was almost ready to hit a man. Because of the look, I saw him immediately sign my resignation letter. I thought he would take longer than I would get lost in front of him. I have nothing to fear, kill if I have to kill.

I got up and immediately left that office after signing my resignation letter.

When I entered my quarters an officer spoke to me. Trying to convince me to withdraw my resignation letter.

They could do nothing because of my decision. Whatever else they say to enlighten me I will still go home and nothing will stop me because they know how angry I am.

I went straight to my condo unit here in Makati. I called my parents and let them know that I was home so they could be updated on what was happening to me.

After I talked to them I went to the bar counter to get drunk. I drank the wine that was the strongest right when I drank it. I feel like I won't be affected by drunkenness so I drank a drink more. It doesn't matter that I'm in my condo unit, I can sleep anywhere.

When I woke up I found myself on the cold floor. My head hurts because of the hangover. I immediately took a shower and got dressed to go out. I took a taxi so that I wouldn't have to drive a car so when I got drunk I wouldn't have a car problem.

I went to the most popular nightclub. I ordered a lot of wine and I stumbled alone. I got drunk and had sex with a beautiful woman. There was a VIP room where I released the heat of my body, using different women in one night.

I did this straight for a week, without food and proper sleep until I felt my body weaken. I couldn't get up, my whole body hurt, including my head, as if it was going to break. The pain I felt was not a joke, I called an ambulance to pick me up. I was confined to Makati Medical City.

I called my parents so they went straight there when they traveled to Manila. I heard no sermon, they treated me with love, maybe they sympathized with me. Three days later I was released from the hospital. I recovered quickly because with their help I was still overwhelmed with grief.

They stayed here for a week and accompanied me. That's also the number of days I don't go out of my room. My Mommy serves me food. He cleans up the clutter in my room.

Daddy told us to talk in-depth. Mommy instructed me to leave the room but I didn't. I wasn't ready to talk to Daddy yet because I knew I would only get a sermon. What else?

As I was sitting and dumbfounded, Daddy suddenly entered my room. Without warning, I was punched. I was startled and twisted in pain. I chased my breath because it seemed to stop when Daddy's punch hit my stomach.

"That should be for you!" Daddy's mouth twitched as he spoke.

"Get organized, it's not because of that woman, you should be like that!

You already know what you have to do for yourself!"

After speaking, he turned around and left my room. I was left speechless inside while caressing the part of my body that had been punched. I let out a sigh of relief. I slowly closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I was startled when suddenly something moved through the curtain of my room. My Mommy came in without me knowing. After parting the curtain, a cold wind suddenly came in, causing me to wake up. I get up and sit on the bed.

I still didn't speak, I just let Mommy do what she was doing. She sat on the side of my bed and watched me. I was taken aback by her stare as if she had seen a hermit. She stood up, came over to me, and hugged me.

"We love you, son, please love yourself!"

It was as if a part of my chest softened when I heard what Mommy said. But no words came out of my mouth. I just let her hug me. Ultimately moving my body I did not.

"Tonight, we're going back home to Tagaytay with you. Prepare yourself, we leave at seven."

I nodded in agreement with Mommy. She let go of me and then back away. She looked at me first before turning around and leaving my room. I was left alone and meditating.

When my parents arrived here from Tagaytay I folded up. I got up to go to the bathroom to take care of my body. I was shocked by what I saw in the mirror, my hair was grown out and my beard was coming out as well. I look thinner, which is why Mommy used to think that way.

I examined myself. I still shudder, I don't like what I see in front of the mirror. I first shaved my beard before I took a bath to clean my body. Getting out of the water I felt comfortable.

I got dressed for a haircut outside first. I caught my parents in the living room watching TV.

I looked at Daddy who was just silently watching. I sat down next to him, sneezing first before speaking.

"Thank you Daddy and Mommy for taking care of me. I'll be with you later I come home to Tagaytay."

Daddy was just quiet so I didn't wait for his answer. Instead, I got up and left the condo unit. After I got a haircut I still felt relief in my head. I decided to go back to the condo, I first went through the bakeshop to buy a greeting.

We were on our way home, my parents' car ahead. I was able to follow them while driving my car. The road was not busy so we got there easily. I miss this place of ours, the air is fresh and the atmosphere is cozy.