Chapter 4 Get Over It

Four months has passed and today feels like it's going to be a good day. Now that is a scary feeling! The last time I felt like this I lost my best friend. Today doesn't feel like yesterday anymore maybe I'm starting to get over him.

As a lay there in bed, I start thinking of all of our good days together. I had to remind myself of our very bad day. Remember Joseph left. The very thought of it put me back in the mind to tell myself just get over him and move on. Yes that is what I will do. I am going to move on.

I thought to myself, I should get up and go shopping for some new interview clothes. Just then the phone rings. "Hello" I said, "Hi Sam" he replied. With those two words every good memory returned. "Joseph is this really you" I asked. "Sam I'm sorry. I don't know how I could have treated you so terrible",, he said. "No! Don't start off by saying your sorry for leaving me unless you are also prepared to first tell me why you left and second you better be calling to beg me for forgiveness and lastly plead with me to allow you to come home and vow to never do it again", I replied hastily.

I couldn't believe how fast the words came out. It was like I had stepped outside myself and someone else was speaking for me. "Sam I love you and I want to be with you but things are complicated right now", he explained. I questioned what complicated means. "It means it is hard to put into words and it would be even harder for you to understand all I can say is I never meant to hurt you".

I looked at the phone for a second. The next thing he heard was the operator recording telling him to please hang up and try your call again! ​

How could he actually call me and give me nothing not one answer. All he did was use more words that contradict all of his actions. I'm more confused now than I was four months ago. What could be this complicated? What complication could cause a person to leave a month before their wedding?

Now I began to ask myself the same questions that I asked myself in the beginning. Then I started asking myself the same questions that I was probed with by my family and friends. Could it be that he has fallen in love with someone or has his affections now moved to that of a male? When I think about it, he was always easier to talk to than any of my female friends. Is he in love with a man? There was no way that I could compete with that.

I could not stop thinking about what he said. Just when I was trying to get over him. So much for having a good day and getting over him. I regret I answered the phone. After six years of a committed relationship all I get is "It's complicated, I won't understand." So much for going shopping for interview clothes. I went back to bed instead.