Chapter 9 •9• THe Wedding

Jivika's POV

The Panditji called my dad to do the 'Kanyadan' (A ritual in whicj a girl is 'given away' by her father to her husband). Chachu came forward and handed my hand to Ranbir. At that moment, something died inside as Panditji said, now I am Ranbir's responsibility and not my Chachu's. Then the wedding rounds around the sacred pyre were taken. We made promises to each other. Promises if loving, caring, respecting each other, standing through good and bad times. I made those promises from my heart and promised myself to value this marriage all my life, no matter how much pain it causes me. My Chachu's, and my new family's respect will always be my priority.

Panditji asked Ranbir to tie the Mangalsutra around my neck. He wordlessly picked up the Mangalsutra and moved closer to my face to tie it. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breaths as hands went behind my neck to tie the clip around my neck but I felt a sharp pain that brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at his hands and expressionless face through the veil. He is doing that deliberately. I bit back the pain and tightly sealed my lips to stop the hiss as he pierced the clip in the back of my neck. My neck must be bleeding by now. He tied it and removed his hands and I sighed in relief. He then took a pinch of Sindoor (vermilion) and without touching my veil, brushed it in my hairline with the same roughness. Tears started flowing through my eyes.

He hates me so much.

***

All the rituals were completed and I returned to my room. The pain in the neck has lessened for now but it stings every time it comes in contact with the netted dupatta or the jewelry. I desperately wanted to bandage it but for that I'll have to remove all the jewelry which I can't.

I heard the door creek open and Chachi entered. She caressed my face and said, "I'm sorry Jivi. I never wanted all this to happen this way but... I was helpless." I could clearly hear the heartache in her broken voice but it's not her fault. She did nothing and she doesn't need to feel guilty.

"No Chachi. Don't say sorry. These are all just excuses, we can't change our destiny and maybe this was my destiny." I reassured holding her hands.

"Jivi, can I ask you something?" she said, her voice desperately hopeful.

"Don't ask, you can order Chachi. Your wish will be my command." I told with confidence.

She held my hands tighter and said, "Promise me Jivi, you won't let this relationship break. Promise me you would never bring shame to your family like Radhika did. Promise me you will prove that my upbringing wasn't-" she stopped as tears filled her eyes.

"I promise Chachi, whatever happens, I'll never back off. I know it would be difficult but it won't be impossible. Maybe Ranbir doesn't like me but from now on that house will be my home, their respect will be mine and for that even if I have to sacrifice anything I won't hesitate. The plant of This relationship," I continued holding my Mangalsutra with both hands, "I will shower it with the light of faith, water of sincerity and air of understanding and never let the thorns of doubt and pain stop it from blooming." I promised wiping her tears and turned around to look at my room and a sob escaped my mouth. This room, this home, my parents, I have to leave all of them and go in a few hours. How cruel is destiny. How silly are these rituals. Few hours ago, I belonged to them and now, I have a new family, a new home, and even a new surname.

Just then Chachu and Abhi came in. I ran to him and hugged him, "don't send me away Chachu." I said crying vigorously. I always knew this day would come but not like this. Not today.

He wiped my tears and hugged me again. "Jivi, no father wants a piece of his heart to go away but child, these customs and traditions are above us." He said with a heavy heart and groggy voice, like he was controlling his tears. I have never seen him so weak in all these years. I wish I never had to leave him in this condition. My Chachu and Chachi never made me feel like this but today I wish I was not born as a daughter.

"I've packed all your things Di. The car is waiting." Abhi said, looking down. Why is he behaving so indifferently? Doesn't he care if I am not around? Or is he so used to living without me that it doesn't matter anymore?

With that thought, I felt a sharp pain arise in my chest. He moved towards the bedside without looking at me and took one of my suitcase, "this one has the laptop and its charger. Ask the driver to put them carefully."

"Anything else?" I asked in the same blunt tone as him.

He just shook his head. I was about to leave when I saw something glistening on his cheek and he quickly wiped it off, turning his face away.

"Fine then I should leave." I said with a hint of anger in my voice. If he doesn't care, why should I? I was about to leave when Chachi held my hand and said, "Suniye, we should go out and give this brother-sister duo a minute."

And they both left. "Ok I should be leaving now." I said without looking at him and was about to go when I heard his defeated voice, "You could have said no Di. Why did you do this?" He asked helplessly.

Finally, I heaved a sigh of relief and walked to him with a forced smile on my face, "How could I say no Abhi? They raised me like their own daughter. Protected me, cared for me all these years without expecting anything in return. After mom dad's death, when Vanshika Masi came to take us with her, they refused saying they have never done any discrimination between me and Radhika. For the first time in my life, they expected something in return, how could I say no?" I said helplessly hoping he would get my point.

"Ehsaano ka badla koi aise chukata hai? (Is this the way someone returns favors?)"

"Maybe this was the only way I could return their favors." I said. He seemed to understand and hugged me tight. "Di, if there is any problem, remember your brother is just a call away."

"Hm." I said wiping my tears and we both walked outside.

***

The Bidaai time arrived and I bid farewell to my family while I was breaking inside. It's cruelty to separate a married 'man' from his parents and it's a tradition to separate a married 'woman' from her parents. Illogical India.

Ranbir's mom guided me to the car and said, "Beta Ranbir had some work so... he left. He will be home by the time we reach." She said with a fake smile. Who is she fooling? Don't I know why Ranbir left like that?

I sat in the backseat of the car with Ishaani beside me. My nervousness increased and my heart raced as the car kept moving towards our destination. "Bhabi, are you alright?" Ishaani asked worriedly looking at my palms which were covered in sweat. "Driver put on the AC." She said a bit loudly.

"No Ishaani. I'm fine."

She held my hands and said, "Bhabi, my Bhai may look like a hard nut but he is really soft at heart. I can only imagine the pain Radhika's betrayal must have done to him. But I know Bhabi, you will bring all the colors back in his life and teach him how to love... again." Her glistening eyes and hopeful voice was an evidence of her love and care for her brother.

Ranbir's home, or I should say Villa arrived. It was a beautiful place. At the main iron gate, the name plate reading 'Khuranas' was carved in golden letters. As we entered inside, there was a beautiful round fountain sprinkling water and adding to its beauty. I have never been here. The car stopped with a screech and Ishaani took me to the entrance where I was welcomed with more rituals.

As I went inside, my head felt heavy from all the tiredness and I held it with my hand to stop the spinning. "Bhabi?" Ishaani shouted worriedly, catching everyone's attention and she held me from falling down. "Are you ok Bhabi?"

I nodded but no one was fooled. Neelam Aunty made me sit on the couch and ordered the maid to bring juice. "Aunty I am fi-"

"Not Aunty Jivi. Call me Mom." She said kindly.

"Mom?" the word consciously rolled down my tongue and I felt an overwhelming sense of joy at those words. I never had a mom and I had always yearned for her. Thank you God for giving me one. I nodded with tears in my eyes.

"Jivika beta?" Uncle... dad... spoke in his loud, authoritative voice and came closer.

"Yes. D...Dad." I said. It sounded awkward.

"Jivika beta, today you preserved the honor of both the families. I can never thank you enough for agreeing to do what you did today. No other girl in your place would have made such a big sacrifice. If I can ever give you anything in return, feel free to ask." He said, placing a hand on my head like a father. "Tomorrow, the reception will be held and I will call a big press conference to announce that you are Mrs. Ranbir Khurana, the bride of this house, and not Radhika."

'Mrs. Ranbir Khurana...' those words did something bizarre to my body. In that moment I was washed away with calmness which overpowered all my pain, worries and anxiety. Yes. I am Mrs. Ranbir Khurana. His wife, the daughter in law of this house. Really, I never wished for all this. And even if a piece of my heart wanted, my brain silenced it saying that it's Radhika's right and I shouldn't be selfish. But now, it's nothing like that. It's no less than a miracle that I am here. Maybe, where I belonged.

"Ishaani?" Mom said, "Take your Bhabi to her room. She must be tired."

Hearing those words, the feeling of relaxation vanished and it was replaced by the same panic and anxiety.

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