Chapter 3 WHAT LAUGHTER ADDS TO YOUR LIFE

TOPIC 2

WHAT LAUGHTER ADDS TO YOUR LIFE

Laughter is a great thing and moment and when laughter occurs people are at peace and jovial making there nerves calm and stress free. Many are the times when most people are just too serious worrying about tomorrow, finances, kids, social status, political ambition, their weight, appearance, ageing, retirement, exams, relationships e.t.c and no matter how often people can worry they still cant change a thing but would still be in misery or stress, high blood pressure which could even lead many which has led many to death among other things would prey on so many people because they are just too serious and can't take even one moment of laughter but i say laughter is a healing to the heart and upliftment to the soul. That's why they say that life is not about how many breaths one takes but the moments that takes one's breath away.

Laughter is on the external expression of joy and amusement in the inside of some one, but to be honest you need laughter in your life, we all do. Joy and laughter won't just come to you , you must do something about it because you are the architect of your own destiny and so you have the power to find joy and laughter in your life and around you because it's your right and you deserve to be happy. If you were asked to choose between happiness and sadness i know that deep within your soul you would choose happiness and the reason is very obvious nobody wants to be sad and many times people are sad because of all the wrong choices many people tend to make e.g failure to forgive your friend which pushes you into killing that friend of yours would be said to be an act of wrong choice making but back to the issue at hand, if you are reading this and you agree that you are sad and you hardly laugh or smile because there is no joy in your marriage, work, social life, love life, or you tired of being poor, unemployed or single e.t.c i want you to stand on your feet today and rise about your worries and fears and everything that weighs you down, in the first chapter i talked about self discovery where you've got to be the you, you would be proud to be over and over again, but then i talked about change and the change you can effect e.g. you can change from a sad person to a happy person, unpopular person to a famous person, from a bitter one to a sweet heart and so on and so forth.

Identify what it is that is making you sad ''there are certain men, successful men in business but was not a happy men because they hardly spend time home with their lovely wives and their good-looking kids, they used to think that their wives were being ungrateful for always demanding love and attention, they used to think their wives couldn't appreciate that all that they had to do they were doing it for them and the kids providing them with all the material things they desire. Yet in reality they appreciated the good life but they needed a part of their husband. Their women needed their husbands and the kids needed there fathers so they could play video game together as well as ask help when doing home work, and they sometimes needed some bed time stories to put them to sleep but fortunately they started trying to spend time with their wives and playing soccer and video game the kids who wished it had always been like that and good for them. While others did not realise and the sad scenario is happening in so many homes from around the world. A certain man loved to spend time with his family he would spend all day in laughter and coming from the office every day with a bouquet of roses for his lovely wife and gifts for his two boys, but it wasn't by accident his life took a good shape he had battled within his soul trying to find the reason why he was not happy but for him it took many years but why should you suffer many years of sadness and no laughter hoping it would come in the future you are not assured of when the best you can do is get up and realise the importance that laughter can bring in your life, ask your self what it is that you think can make you laugh and smile is it a hollywood comedy? or a tango dance? is it a dance or spending time at a theatre?, is it going fishing with friends or hanging around with buddies? e.t.c what is it that gives you so much joy and laughter? for me it's my family we love jokes, watching comedies and shows together teasing and nick naming ourselves with names of the funniest un cool characters in the movies, wishing the day would last forever, i love acting crazy roles and record videos on my camera phone with hope to get many hits on youtube.

Let me say this one time, if it's being in the arms of that some one special then do it tell them how much you love them while you still can, if you don't have some one yet you crush on some one do not be afraid to them how you sincerely feel but be responsible in all that and fight for your honest and pure feeling, knowing also that at times you might be so crazy about some one who might not be crazy about you. I have learnt that loving some one is not always that they will return your love but don't get it twisted love is certainly a beautiful thing that can make any rainy day feel like it's a fly sunny day after the storm, to tell you what no one is condemned to be alone, every one has that one special person for them just keep it joyful every day, self discovery has proven and still does prove that when you get up from slumber and fall in love the joy will come not only from how deep your feelings are for some one but from the knowledge of knowing first that you are accepted , wanted, appreciated, loved, cared for, special, loving, lovable and just the joy of belonging to some one and that some one belongs to you. To be in love or a relationship belt on love, attraction, honesty, communication and mutual understanding joy and laughter are guaranteed.

If you asked David Beckham about some of those breath taking moments in his life he will tell you so many moment that has brought joy, fulfilment above all laughter in his life not only as a legend english soccer player but also in business and private life but one thing is for sure putting the ball behind the net after kicking a free kick, penalty, and just a shot on target has given him so much joy. So it's absolute that there is joy and laughter every time you succeed or achieve at something, sometimes it's not always big things that bring joy and laughter but the small things that we don't mostly think about quite often, i just gave an example of a man i call my great soccer legend of all times, when i had my first kiss i went on and i was all smiles and laughing in my room again and again it was crazy i thought about joy and laughter, i thought about the first day i saw her, that time i felt scared to approach her until i finally got the courage and strength to approach her and my intentions known to her, i thought of the moment she told me yes all that joy in the soul till the first kiss, that up to this time i smile and rejoice knowing that because i had taken out sometime time to self discover then i had some one special accepting me and i knew that my life would never be the same again.

Self discovery brings about one important aspect in life, the joy of success, fulfilment etc just remember the last time you succeeded at something, whether it's passing an exam or a job interview, a movie audition and a star search or got promoted at work, got your first pay check i mean how did you feel? if you said good could sound like an under statement to me, if you say great and 'wow' then that's the deal, i could give you a chance to watch a movie at the cinemas with me and i would buy you a Luther Vandross CD because i love people who love and cherish every moment no matter how small it may be because it brings joy and laughter. What am i saying here? that success in any area of life be it in something small or great that brings joy and laughter also makes you know that you are not a good for nothing, but let's you know that you are actually good at something and this does not only boost ones self esteem and self worth. It also pushes you to even greater heights in life.

A lazy man is mostly not a happy man because of so many reasons we are not going to look at in this issue but the ones we will outline in details in the next issue. I will tell you the benefits of laughter and joy in this issue as i believe if self discovery could not enhance joy and laughter then i wouldn't have faith in self discovery and i wouldn't even have spent my days writing this book and four years before releasing this book that brings to you these self discovery essential principals.

Laughter is healthy to any human being and this has been scientifically proven that a person who laughs often times has no healthy issues like high blood pressure, stress, depression, stress, ageing e.t.c In this world believe it or not a person who laughs alot is a better person because he or she is a joyful person believe it or not. Life is living it every day and not spending days watching others live life. Being alive means to live in every sense of the word and not to merely exist being a part of each moment with a glad soul.

A moment that goes by with laughter is a very special one to anybody, self discovery that so many people have undergone in USA, Asia, Africa, Australia and other parts of the world has proven that 10 minutes spent in joy and laughter is worth so much more that a month or years spent without laughter. Life is not about how many breaths one takes but it's about those moments that takes every breath away. If you treasure laughter and joy you need to do things that will make it possible for joy and laughter to be a reality in your life. Life is basically how you make it but i say life is what you make for your self, through every choice that you make for your self knowing to say that some choices you make can benefit yourself or others or can affect you and other people. I believe that if you want to eat ice cream you don't have to wait for some one to come and tell you to open your wallet, take out that dollar note and buy ice cream at an ice cream joint. If you want ice cream you should make that choice to spend that dollar on it after all it's you who want to eat ice cream and it's your money. If you don't have the money the best you could do is hustle for some bucks then spend a few bucks on the ice cream and every other thing that is necessary like a new out fit or get an hair cut to look smart and fine. know however that you can only succeed in the area of joy and laughter if you are a good person, honest, loving, hard working, lives a day at a time, content with what you have no matter how much or little you have. To see joy in your life it all starts by you doing things that brings joy to those around you then you will see that you will even be over joyed yourself. if you want to be a happy person be willing to fight battles to find happiness and do all it takes to keep it always with you, to be realistic, life is no bed of roses but you can live it as you want to bearing in mind that life is a bunch of choices and your duty or rather your responsibility is to make the right ones (sound or sensible ones). You are free to make a choice you like but as your life coach I urge you to make the best ones.

Live within your means, many people go into unnecessary debt because they want to keep up appearances but let me warn you, if you want a peaceful life of joy and laughter and a peace of mind then you need to be a person who tries to live within your means, if for example your monthly pay check is N20,000, then you need to be a strategic person and plan strategically all your expenses within the N20,000 by coming up with a budget that will deal with all your issues within that much, if you rent a house in Lagos, Abuja or any other place in Nigeria or world at large rentals are serious issues, then if you have a wife and kids how you plan the budget with her is very different from the way you would plan it if you were a single man, from food, rentals, water bills, electricity bills, healthy insurance, clothing, groceries, school fees, fuel and vehicle maintenance e.t.c in all this you must be analytical and responsible bearing in mind the cost of living in that part of the world you live in giving priority to the most important things and ending with the least important things because peace of mind comes in careful planning and make sure that you also have some savings, you could be saving for home improvement, a new house, emergencies, projects e.t.c.

Planning is very important in every area of life as it's evidently clear that a good plan can guarantee real laughter, peace and joy that is so much needed in your life. When you come up with a plan don't just sit down and wait for the plan to work it self out or you can just wait till forever. But the smart move that smart people make is to make sure the plan is implemented, making a plan is no different from taking a risk because both must be taken with courage and managed so as to succeed or implement them properly, so to be happy means to be bold and courageous, one thing i must add is avoid getting into conflict with the law, by always being obedient and morally upright.

If you own property or business, make sure you get an insurance cover, from a good insurance provider who can give you the best and most preferable insurance cover so that you could not worry about fire, thefts, e.t.c knowing that everything is well taken care of.

Avoid things that can complicate your life e.g getting involved with another man or woman when you are married or have a serious commitment with another person. Cheating at first feels wonderful and before you know it all your joy and laughter is robbed away. Have a plan and a vision, know what time to go for work, to do shopping, to have a child, to go for the movies, to have meals, to play with your kids, to play with your family, friends, to weed your garden, to go for holiday, to go on a date e.t.c if you can plan carefully and stick to your plan then you can enjoy so much from the out come of proper planning, time is a very important asset and based on how you use it you could either be rich or poor, so be wise and know that laughter is a far fetched dream if you don't plan or if you embrace behaviours that can complicate your life.

Accept who you are in terms of appearance, tribe, nationality, culture, cultural values, beliefs, customs, traditions, abilities, inabilities, advantages e.t.c letting go all grudges and forgiving everyone who wronged you in anyway. Many people pay motivation speakers and psychiatrist for because they are torn and broken and the answer to there problems could only be forgiving other and themselves. If you will truly accept who you are then you will have no need to worry about this or that, in the whole process throughout, you will then enjoy life with smiles, laughter and joy.

Make sure you have a right attitude; alot of people world over are sad because of attitude problem, be a positive minded person, let it be your state of mind and you will succeeds on your pursuit of happiness but true laughter and joy can not be there without one embracing true religious beliefs and practice, religious faith is great , at some point in my life i had turned away from my faith and religion and so, no matter how many pairs of jeans i had, how many nice shoes or how much money i had in my wallet i was not happy and content i even felt stress free when i was broke, in a relationship i mostly neglected, disrespected, and never appreciated the other person because i probably didn't even know how to love, but when i came back to my faith and religion, i have became a better person, a productive person, a hardworking person, a focused and stable person and my life, is no longer complicated, i have grown to be a content person, a loving person, a productive member of society and that has really been amazing, religion has put me to past, present and future that's why i no longer live life anyhow or do things anyhow, i have found joy and laughter to be my every day thing so don't be left out i have been down that road of pain and suffering but have come out of that by following the steps i have spoken about in this chapter and i am actually a very happy person, in conclusion the laughter i talked about is like medicine to your soul and to mine, laughter is good for our physical wellbeing as well as our emotional health, it's good for your heart functioning well, laughter heals all stress in your life because when you embrace joy and laughter you chase away all worries, laughing mostly appears to be simple but it adds to long life of any body as statistics shows that a happy person lives longer than a person who is unhappy, some one embraces laughter and joy as a high self esteem enhancer, the same person is content with his or her physical appearance, possessions e.t.c

Live for now and avoid worries about the future but live for now, let your everyday fill your life with joy and laughter, to be happiness is what makes a difference yet very few people are happy while many people from every race are unhappy which is a very unfortunate state of affairs that I'm urging you to avoid. To be honest with you I say urge you to be alive, to treat people equally, to forgive and let go, to love your neighbor as yourself, to build a legacy, to love e.t.c. when I talk about living for now I'm not telling you to forget about the future. All I'm saying is that you must live today best and only plan for the future doing the best you can do because much as life is short it was never meant to be unbearable. You are with someone you love make sure you tell her each day how special she is in your life because a moment like that one some people search a life time for a love and place that you have, some people wait forever even to just stand before a clergyman and hundreds of witnesses to say "I do" is not a joke. So if you are alive be happy and live for now and only remember that life is like a journey has a starting point and a finishing one. One of my former work mates from Intergraph imaginations loved to say that "in life take nothing but photographs and leave nothing but foot prints".

Self discovery puts us in a place and position to recover our true identities, happiness, joy and laughter but in most instances we ignore the basics and fundamentals of discovery and hope, joy and peace thinking that all these will just locate us and fall on our laps just like that when in reality that's impossible. The scriptures say do on to others what you would have them do to you, if you want people to live peacefully with you then you've got to live peacefully with them.

In order to have a great life, it doesn't have to necessary be extravagant life all the time, but even the most simple life can turn out to be a life filled with laughter, love and joy meaning that you always work hard on things big or small especially the smallest things, the things that are simple counts so much to the soul and guarantees your true happiness , take money for example, the more you have the more you want to make and so you panic in a bit, yet with so much you are not content, i am not talking against riches they are cool but if they can buy a bed but can not buy sleep, if they can buy food and not appetite, if they can bring the most marvelous diva on earth but can not buy her love then it's better to first find happiness then wealth in fact success is a great thing but if we talk about the reality laughter and joy in ones life is what i call true success maybe you don't have all the silver and gold but you have love it should be enough, to have joy, happiness, peace is to learn to forgive someone for whatever you have been wronged. Do not hold a grudge against anybody I keep on repeating this in this book so that I prepare you for the best that you should subscribe to, the best that the Almighty has created you for. Remember that you must learn to move on and learning to deal with disappointments, rejections e.t.c just as long as every day when you wake up early and say a prayer of thanks giving to God, brush your teeth, take a bath, a cup of tea or coffee, kiss your spouse or lover, drop off your kids to school on your way to work and if you don't have a spouse and kids it's almost the same routine, know what is priority for you on that particular day from big to small and know what you can do by yourself alone and what you need some one else to help you with.

Walk with your head up high, dress to impress not the world but that one special person who means the world to you, take care of your self in areas such as physical appearance, be approachable but not loose if you are single, because you might not know the day your life partner can come knocking on your door, be social if you are not available being faithful at all times, stay focused on your education and know exactly what you want to archive in this life and set out to archive what you want to.

Self discovery lets us know all those little things that adds flavor to life and i insist that a day of laughter is better than a million years of sadness, if there is something you should focus on each day that comes is to make the choices that can bring joy in your life, you need it every body needs it, i searched for it and i found it, you will find it and most importantly be the change you want to see at your work place, in your marriage, family, political party, government, class, neighborhood, life e.t.c and remember that the choices you make today determines your tomorrow if it does actually come. So take a break, crack some jokes, go see a stand up comedy, go for a movie or a date, work hard, smile, walk with your head up high and whatever you do, enhance joy and laughter in your life. Most important than anything else you can ever do in your life. Remember your creator to worship him alone, to honour him, love him and keep his commandments. You and all your ways must be pleasing in his sight.