Chapter 2 inquisitive thoughts

Isabella Pov

As his hand rises to sweep my hair away from my face, he is the first to pull away, holding me at arm's length. His adoring gaze was dancing. "Now, go take a seat with the others so we can get to discussing your futures."

As Father Lucas approaches us and begins to talk, I turn to the brown leather sofa and sit down between Dillian and Ella.

He gives us a sharp look and says, "Now, as you three know, I will be putting you in schools outside of The Colony." He approaches us, putting his hands behind his back and pacing in front of us while we all nod in agreement. "I will warn you that the life outside may appear normal, but it is anything but. You, my children, mustn't trust anyone. You will go through your four years blending in and not speaking to anyone of the brilliance that is our Colony."

"They do not understand, and they fear our greatness. You will undergo a week of training camp to prepare you for the outside world, and just like the other students, you will be attending the graduation ceremony. But for now, I will let you know what schools I have accepted for you all."

As I sit up and silently pray to Father Lucas that he will consider my accomplishments and grades worthy of a New York school, my ears immediately perk up.

He starts with Dillan, who had been accepted to a school up north, and I listen intently.

The prospect of seeing Daniel was just too alluring, even though I was obviously unhappy that we would be away for four years.

We would be close because Ella had entered Columbia. I give her a secret congrats squeeze while grinning.

When it's time for my results, I look up at Father Lucas, who grinned and moved forward, lowering himself to my level. He grabs my hands in his and says, "And for you, my smart Josephina, I have decided that it is quintessential that you be close to home." "I have accepted you into the community college not too far from here. I know you will be more comfortable being closer to home." He looks at me with a wink.

Father Lucas gets back up and continues his speech, but I'm too busy trying to stop the tears from streaming down my face to pay attention to a word he says. My joyful smile instantly fades.

This is not possible.

My ears begin to ring, and I take a big breath, but it's still trembling like my hands.

For the entire year, I had been praying, giving more to charities, and taking on extra responsibilities.

All that had prevented me from losing my mind over Daniel's banishment was this.

The only person I had was Daniel. The only person who watched out for me. For as long as I can remember, I had been anticipating this.

When he was able to see me, little glimpses of him were insufficient. I was so worried about him that I had trouble sleeping at night. Was he content and safe?

I prayed that he was, but it was no longer sufficient. I desired to see him.

And I know I won't be able to hold back the tears for very long by the time the first one falls down my cheek.

Father Lucas excuses everyone, only hesitating to tell me to stay behind. I quickly wipe it away and get up.

Since it was taking all of my will not to cry right now, I really didn't want to stay, but who was I to refuse Father Lucas?

There was nothing I could do. I had to make sure he got what he wanted.

I remained where I was, but I was unable to stop the tears that were silently streaming down my cheeks.

I relinquish control as Father Lucas extends his hand and gestures for me to accept it. He shows me the way back to the large wingback chair behind his desk and sits down.

Reluctantly, I let him pull me onto the area between them as he reclines and spreads his legs.

I take a seat with my back to him, not wanting to look him in the eye or perhaps not wanting to be close to him at this moment.

He wasn't to blame. He was always the most knowledgeable, but I couldn't stop the bitterness from rising when he just straightened up and put his arms around me, embracing me from the front. I was totally unaware of my own suffering.

I keep sniffling and trying to stop crying, but I know I didn't do a good job of being inconspicuous because of the way he sighs and puts his hands on my tight shoulders. He says, "Isabella," as though he knows how angry I am.

He doesn't comprehend.

His hands begin massaging and caressing my shoulders, but it doesn't improve my mood.

He continues to massage my shoulders while whispering in my ear, "I know you had your sights set on NYU or Columbia, and believe me, I heard all your prayers. But you must know I am doing this for your own good."

I wipe my tears and stutter, "How so?"

He continues to stroke my shoulders in a calming manner while sitting up so that his chest is now pressed against my back, although I would rather that he not touch me at all.

He shifts his head forward and buries it in my hair while taking a deep breath. "You know that you are my number one. You are destined for greatness here." He hums into my hair, "And as such a key factor in our community, it would be too hard if you were far from us. You, my beautiful child, are the future of this colony."

I remain silent, considering what he said and making an effort to be sympathetic. I had to use reason, but I was unable to do so.

I had never experienced such devastation. Even when Daniel fled, there was always hope.

I hope to relocate to New York City in the future. I hope to see him once more.

The man behind me sighs again and reaches down to massage my arms. He pulls me back into his chest and rubs the sides of my waist, whispering, "You do understand, don't you? I'd be worried sick about you being so far away."

I nod even though I don't get his point of view. It was an honor for me to receive this particular therapy from him. I couldn't be unappreciative.

He puts his chin on my head and puts one hand around my waist to keep me close to him. He continues to hold me close to him, rubbing my hip with his other hand as he occasionally lets out a satisfied moan. "Very well."

We sit in silence while he buries his face in my hair and periodically mumbles small things about how precious I am, how wonderful I smell, or how he has amazing plans for me. I am too busy thinking about my new reality to notice.

However, I ignore his babbling in favor of attempting to make sense of this new reality.

I eventually start talking when I become restless and have had enough of his constant intrusive presence. I rise and say, "Well, if that's all, Father, I should be on my way."

I feel his hands land on my hips and turn my body so I'm facing his seated form before I can take another step after he releases me.

He scoots to the edge of his chair and looks up at me, saying, "Actually, there is one more thing."

He bends forward and reaches behind me into the side drawer of his desk to my left, his arm grazing my hip.

I tilt my head in perplexity as he holds up a gold rectangular foil packet in front of my face.

My eyebrows simply furrow as he says, "Since you will be graduating soon, you know that sometime within the week, you are required to completely integrate into The Colony." "Your assignee is going to be expecting you to partake in the act of coitus."

I nod and listen to him, but I can't help but blush at the thought of talking about such things with the Colony's holy father.

After observing my responses, Father Lucas gets up from his chair and laughs softly. He tucks the tiny piece of gold foil into my hand and says, "But when Dillan is ready for you, I want you to use this."

I look at the little packet. I had never seen anything like this before, but the folded edges show that the actual object is underneath the plastic packing. I move to open it and ask, "What is it for?"

Father Lucas stops me in my tracks by covering my hand with his. His jaw clenches slightly as he stares off to the side before uttering his next words through gritted teeth. "This is a contraceptive- a condom. It is to be opened before the act." He ends stiffly, as if the thought bothers him. "It is used as a safety barrier while you are assigned to...Penetrating you. I will explain this to him, but just in case he doesn't follow through, I want you to make sure he does."

I shift uneasily. He narrows his eyes, almost spitefully, instead of seeming uncomfortable, the way I do when it comes to private topics.

I nod, still not quite comprehending, and turn to walk away, but then I get a thought. "Why don't the others have to use them?"

Initiating ourselves as complete members of The Colony required the coitus act. It was how our community expanded and procreated. Nearly all were obliged to become pregnant immediately following graduation; some were even permitted to do so at sixteen.

Why he didn't want me to assist in reproduction was beyond me.

But suddenly it makes sense. There are now only two licensed doctors in The Colony, and I would not have been allowed to go to college if I had been pregnant before the school year. And after graduation, I was going to be the third.

Maybe he didn't want me to have a child just yet because we needed more doctors. However, his eyes convey a different message when I lift my head to meet them.

When I take a step back to give him some space, my back hits his desk because he is standing at his full height.

He raises his hands and grabs both sides of my face, raising it. He kisses the top of my forehead and whispers, "Because my sweet, sweet Josephina."

As he murmurs the words that only serve to further perplex my already inquisitive thoughts, he looks into my eyes once more with a promising gaze.

"You will not be bearing his children."