Too Pure To Resist

Isabella

It was a louder morning bell than usual.

It roared through the house today, rattling off the walls and almost toppling my breakfast utensils as it came from the street.

Fortunately, I wasn't in bed, where I would have woken up to such a miserable sound, but I was up early. I detested it.

Marie wouldn't let me act viciously, even if I wasn't. However, I did tend to become grumpy in the morning when I was especially exhausted.

Even though I was exhausted, I was unable to fall asleep. In addition to being the last day of classes, today was also the day for making decisions.

I was giddy with anticipation and anxiety. It got so awful that I almost forgot to kiss Michael and Marie on the cheek before leaving for the school route.

Behind a bigger group of pupils making their way to the school, I strolled by myself. In moments like these, it was always preferable to remain unseen. particularly in the presence of girls like Beatrice.

She was laughing with the girls around her as she walked ahead of me today-girls who used to be my old friends.

However, that was before anything. Before Daniel was exiled and before I rose to the top of Father Lucas's hierarchy.

I anticipated that jealousy would be the cause of the initial taunting and suffering. However, as word of Daniel's actions spread, she was able to fully exclude me from their sisterhood.

However, the taunting had begun much earlier, when we were all carefree kids. She had convinced everyone in the first grade to refer to me as Grams. Before learning what it stood for-grams of fat-I was okay with it. The term had stuck with my classmates, so I sobbed for days and refused to go to school.

And as we were all playing in the field during break, Daniel, the cruel sixth grader, did something horrible. He had gathered a pail of horse poop that had been lying around for days.

We all watched in horror as the excrement sprayed all over Beatrice's face and into her mouth when he tossed the bucket at her, but he didn't stop there. In front of the entire school, he had gone on to refer to her as Waste Face.

When I asked him why he would act so cruelly, all he responded was that I could now go to school in peace because others were too preoccupied with calling her Waste Face to refer to me as Grams of Fat.

Beatrice's condition only worsened when Daniel fled. However, I reasoned that she would now have cause to despise me.

Daniels was assigned to her sister, after all. She was made fun of since she was unable to do her duty after he fled. She was set aside when all the other recent graduates were getting pregnant for The Colony's future.

That was almost five years ago, yet my heart ached for her. She had no cause to be resentful of me. I was not involved in any of it.

Ella, my closest friend, tells me not to pay attention to her, so I attempted to ignore her, claiming that she is simply envious of the attention I receive from Father Lucas. But I'm still bothered by it.

I had no say in the situation. She shouldn't hold me responsible for other people's decisions because I never requested his love and attention.

At that moment, I heard footsteps making contact with the dirt walk. I observe Ella's delicate frame fall into step with me as I look to my left. As we exchange a covert glance, she gives me a little, knowing smile that grows into a full-fledged grin upon seeing my smile.

"Excited for the last day of school?" I joke.

A few classmates notice when my closest friend snorts loudly and rolls her eyes. "If by last day of school you mean the day Father Lucas lets us know what Colleges he's approved for us, then yes."

I adored Ella, but she constantly struggled to control her tone, and at the moment, the students around us were glaring at us because of her loud voice.

I stammer an apology, trying to hide the flush that comes from thinking about all the unwelcome negative attention. I was aware of their thoughts.

Students at The Colony rarely have the opportunity to continue their education past the twelfth grade.

Father Lucas had only ever accepted a small number of pupils to continue their education and attend college, even though we were all obliged to apply; the others remained in the village and carried out their civic responsibilities.

tasks involving labor and/or replication.

However, he had taken on three pupils this year. Among them were Ella and me. Dillan, my assigned, is the third.

"Do you think you got into your top choices?" asks Ella.

Anxiously, I bite my lower lip. If I didn't get into one of the New York City schools, I'm not sure what I would do. I had to be in New York City. "I hope so."

Ella grins and puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I know how hard you have been working and praying. Father Lucas will see that and accept you into either NYU or Columbia. Don't worry."

This was the plan for as long as I can remember, so perhaps she is correct.

Daniel had relocated to New York City, so I made sure to apply to institutions there to reunite with him.

Naturally, only Ella was aware of the real reason I wanted to visit New York City. And ideally, they wouldn't have to. Together with Daniel, I would finish my medical college education in New York City before returning home to carry out my duties.

I was aware that it was wrong. Withholding facts or my goals, particularly from Father Lucas, but Daniel had forced me to make this commitment.

Don't tell Father Lucas about whatever you do.

Furthermore, if Father Lucas found out that I was communicating with an exiled member, it would only make him angrier. Not to mention the penalties I would face if he discovered the truth.

They were never enjoyable.

In any case, I wasn't causing harm to anyone.

When we get close to the school building, I shake off the thoughts and turn to Ella. I reprimanded Ella since I am aware of her propensity for forgetfulness and tardiness. "Don't forget we are to meet with Father Lucas in his study for the results after school. Don't be late."

She just dismisses me with a wave. I let out a deep breath as she passes into the building and calls over her shoulder, "Yeah, yeah."

It was a horrible habit to be late.

I wasn't athletic. Not at all.

You would see how out of shape I was by the manner in which I was running as if my life depended on it.

I was having trouble breathing, my forehead was pouring with perspiration, and I was itching all over from the intense July heat.

But because I was running late, I was unable to stop.

I never arrived late.

Richard, a high school student in the ninth grade, busted open his stitches for the third time this week. Since I was the only person on call when he fell, I took care of his wound.

Naturally, I wasn't criticizing our system because it was frowned upon. The fact that I was assigned to first response responsibilities for the entire week as an amateur medic just annoyed me.

I frequently had to improvise because I wasn't qualified to handle half of the incidents I reacted to, and the tension was unbearable.

I also arrived late for the meeting in Father Lucas's study today.

The idea of offending Father Lucas doesn't stop my heart from racing.

I was so anxious that I stormed into the Town Hall, a big white house in the middle of The Colony, without even bothering to say hello to Patty, the receptionist.

It was a big building with many stories. Father Lucas's study and many other rooms are located on the upper level, with the main serving as a banquet area for gatherings and functions.

I dash into the room where three pairs of eyes blink back at me after running up the big oak staircase and turning into the hall that goes to Father Lucas's study.

I immediately connect with Dillan's blue eyes. His typical laid-back smile has vanished, leaving me with a grimace that expresses his displeasure with me.

With a comforting grin on her lips, Ella sits on the couch beside him. She even arrived on schedule.

At last, my gaze shifts to the man in the middle of the space. Father Lucas is seated in a king-sized chair behind his desk. His sharp green eyes meet me as he stands up, dressed in a white dress shirt and jeans.

His comparatively huge frame captures all of our attention in the process. I shudder a little when I see his clean, chiseled face and his salt-and-pepper hair glowing in the light from the glass window.

He appeared dissatisfied.

In a desperate attempt to defend myself, I rush forward and say. I stopped myself from saying, "My sincerest apologies, Father, there was a medical emergency that I had to tend to." I felt that complaining to him would be the most disrespectful thing to do.

"I will excuse it this time. Besides, I can never stay mad at you, my child." Father Lucas exclaims in a loud voice that reverberates across the room as his scowl turns into a smile and he moves forward to embrace me.

With a smile on my face, I cautiously approach him and let him embrace me. I hesitate for a second before settling into his arms, glad that I hadn't offended him.

He lacked patience.

Isabella Pov

As his hand rises to sweep my hair away from my face, he is the first to pull away, holding me at arm's length. His adoring gaze was dancing. "Now, go take a seat with the others so we can get to discussing your futures."

As Father Lucas approaches us and begins to talk, I turn to the brown leather sofa and sit down between Dillian and Ella.

He gives us a sharp look and says, "Now, as you three know, I will be putting you in schools outside of The Colony." He approaches us, putting his hands behind his back and pacing in front of us while we all nod in agreement. "I will warn you that the life outside may appear normal, but it is anything but. You, my children, mustn't trust anyone. You will go through your four years blending in and not speaking to anyone of the brilliance that is our Colony."

"They do not understand, and they fear our greatness. You will undergo a week of training camp to prepare you for the outside world, and just like the other students, you will be attending the graduation ceremony. But for now, I will let you know what schools I have accepted for you all."

As I sit up and silently pray to Father Lucas that he will consider my accomplishments and grades worthy of a New York school, my ears immediately perk up.

He starts with Dillan, who had been accepted to a school up north, and I listen intently.

The prospect of seeing Daniel was just too alluring, even though I was obviously unhappy that we would be away for four years.

We would be close because Ella had entered Columbia. I give her a secret congrats squeeze while grinning.

When it's time for my results, I look up at Father Lucas, who grinned and moved forward, lowering himself to my level. He grabs my hands in his and says, "And for you, my smart Angel, I have decided that it is quintessential that you be close to home." "I have accepted you into the community college not too far from here. I know you will be more comfortable being closer to home." He looks at me with a wink.

Father Lucas gets back up and continues his speech, but I'm too busy trying to stop the tears from streaming down my face to pay attention to a word he says. My joyful smile instantly fades.

This is not possible.

My ears begin to ring, and I take a big breath, but it's still trembling like my hands.

For the entire year, I had been praying, giving more to charities, and taking on extra responsibilities.

All that had prevented me from losing my mind over Daniel's banishment was this.

The only person I had was Daniel. The only person who watched out for me. For as long as I can remember, I had been anticipating this.

When he was able to see me, little glimpses of him were insufficient. I was so worried about him that I had trouble sleeping at night. Was he content and safe?

I prayed that he was, but it was no longer sufficient. I desired to see him.

And I know I won't be able to hold back the tears for very long by the time the first one falls down my cheek.

Father Lucas excuses everyone, only hesitating to tell me to stay behind. I quickly wipe it away and get up.

Since it was taking all of my will not to cry right now, I really didn't want to stay, but who was I to refuse Father Lucas?

There was nothing I could do. I had to make sure he got what he wanted.

I remained where I was, but I was unable to stop the tears that were silently streaming down my cheeks.

I relinquish control as Father Lucas extends his hand and gestures for me to accept it. He shows me the way back to the large wingback chair behind his desk and sits down.

Reluctantly, I let him pull me onto the area between them as he reclines and spreads his legs.

I take a seat with my back to him, not wanting to look him in the eye or perhaps not wanting to be close to him at this moment.

He wasn't to blame. He was always the most knowledgeable, but I couldn't stop the bitterness from rising when he just straightened up and put his arms around me, embracing me from the front. I was totally unaware of my own suffering.

I keep sniffling and trying to stop crying, but I know I didn't do a good job of being inconspicuous because of the way he sighs and puts his hands on my tight shoulders. He says, "Isabella," as though he knows how angry I am.

He doesn't comprehend.

His hands begin massaging and caressing my shoulders, but it doesn't improve my mood.

He continues to massage my shoulders while whispering in my ear, "I know you had your sights set on NYU or Columbia, and believe me, I heard all your prayers. But you must know I am doing this for your own good."

I wipe my tears and stutter, "How so?"

He continues to stroke my shoulders in a calming manner while sitting up so that his chest is now pressed against my back, although I would rather that he not touch me at all.

He shifts his head forward and buries it in my hair while taking a deep breath. "You know that you are my number one. You are destined for greatness here." He hums into my hair, "And as such a key factor in our community, it would be too hard if you were far from us. You, my beautiful child, are the future of this colony."

I remain silent, considering what he said and making an effort to be sympathetic. I had to use reason, but I was unable to do so.

I had never experienced such devastation. Even when Daniel fled, there was always hope.

I hope to relocate to New York City in the future. I hope to see him once more.

The man behind me sighs again and reaches down to massage my arms. He pulls me back into his chest and rubs the sides of my waist, whispering, "You do understand, don't you? I'd be worried sick about you being so far away."

I nod even though I don't get his point of view. It was an honor for me to receive this particular therapy from him. I couldn't be unappreciative.

He puts his chin on my head and puts one hand around my waist to keep me close to him. He continues to hold me close to him, rubbing my hip with his other hand as he occasionally lets out a satisfied moan. "Very well."

We sit in silence while he buries his face in my hair and periodically mumbles small things about how precious I am, how wonderful I smell, or how he has amazing plans for me. I am too busy thinking about my new reality to notice.

However, I ignore his babbling in favor of attempting to make sense of this new reality.

I eventually start talking when I become restless and have had enough of his constant intrusive presence. I rise and say, "Well, if that's all, Father, I should be on my way."

I feel his hands land on my hips and turn my body so I'm facing his seated form before I can take another step after he releases me.

He scoots to the edge of his chair and looks up at me, saying, "Actually, there is one more thing."

He bends forward and reaches behind me into the side drawer of his desk to my left, his arm grazing my hip.

I tilt my head in perplexity as he holds up a gold rectangular foil packet in front of my face.

My eyebrows simply furrow as he says, "Since you will be graduating soon, you know that sometime within the week, you are required to completely integrate into The Colony." "Your assignee is going to be expecting you to partake in the act of coitus."

I nod and listen to him, but I can't help but blush at the thought of talking about such things with the Colony's holy father.

After observing my responses, Father Lucas gets up from his chair and laughs softly. He tucks the tiny piece of gold foil into my hand and says, "But when Dillan is ready for you, I want you to use this."

I look at the little packet. I had never seen anything like this before, but the folded edges show that the actual object is underneath the plastic packing. I move to open it and ask, "What is it for?"

Father Lucas stops me in my tracks by covering my hand with his. His jaw clenches slightly as he stares off to the side before uttering his next words through gritted teeth. "This is a contraceptive- a condom. It is to be opened before the act." He ends stiffly, as if the thought bothers him. "It is used as a safety barrier while you are assigned to...Penetrating you. I will explain this to him, but just in case he doesn't follow through, I want you to make sure he does."

I shift uneasily. He narrows his eyes, almost spitefully, instead of seeming uncomfortable, the way I do when it comes to private topics.

I nod, still not quite comprehending, and turn to walk away, but then I get a thought. "Why don't the others have to use them?"

Initiating ourselves as complete members of The Colony required the coitus act. It was how our community expanded and procreated. Nearly all were obliged to become pregnant immediately following graduation; some were even permitted to do so at sixteen.

Why he didn't want me to assist in reproduction was beyond me.

But suddenly it makes sense. There are now only two licensed doctors in The Colony, and I would not have been allowed to go to college if I had been pregnant before the school year. And after graduation, I was going to be the third.

Maybe he didn't want me to have a child just yet because we needed more doctors. However, his eyes convey a different message when I lift my head to meet them.

When I take a step back to give him some space, my back hits his desk because he is standing at his full height.

He raises his hands and grabs both sides of my face, raising it. He kisses the top of my forehead and whispers, "Because my sweet, sweet Angel."

As he murmurs the words that only serve to further perplex my already inquisitive thoughts, he looks into my eyes once more with a promising gaze.

"You will not be bearing his children."

Isabella

That night, I snuck out after curfew and ran towards the oak tree behind old man Winter's shed. He'd died a couple years ago, and no one dared to come up here anymore.

The dark didn't scare me, not when the moon was casting a light glow, illuminating enough of my surroundings. Besides, I was too preoccupied to let anything stop me.

I couldn't shake the sadness.

I was more than devastated, and no matter how many reassuring words I had received from Father Lucas, I was still upset.

No one understood. They all saw it as a blessing, even Michael, going as far as telling me how proud he was of me.

We don't talk of Daniel much, but today he told me he was glad one of his offspring didn't turn out to be a disappointment.

I wanted to correct him and tell him that Daniel was in no way a disappointment and that he was living his life in New York City, but I knew if they suspected I was in contact with him, I would be in big trouble.

Definitely grounds for punishment.

And so, I had resorted to plastering on an insincere smile, nodding obediently like the good girl they all thought I was, only to turn around and rebel in ways that were unheard of.

The guilt of lying to them didn't stop me from making my way through the forest towards the clearing.

Daniels clearing.

Instead, the thought just made my heart shatter all over again. For years, all I longed for was to be with my brother again.

The person I loved most. More than myself.

I hadn't seen much of him lately. It'd been exactly two months since we'd last spoken and four months since I'd last seen him.

He had long ago introduced me to the popular technological advancements of the outside world, even going as far as gifting me a cellular smart device.

However, it was purely to be used at the clearing and as a way to stay in contact with him. Since he was in New York City, which seemed to be a good distance away from us here, he couldn't keep making the trip up here.

At first, I was horrified by the device itself. No one in The Colony but Father Lucas was to have one, but once I started exploring the features, I couldn't stop.

Luckily, the clearing was a national campground. One that provided free access to the internet, so my cellular device only worked up here.

Ella was the only other person who knew of my secrets. We had spent numerous nights out here, scrolling through a world that was activated through the touch of one's finger.

We had even stumbled across the greatest world of them all.

It called itself Google.

From pictures to moving pictures referred to as videos, we'd spent hours surfing through Google, and there was still so much more to explore.

There were such things as articles, films, and illustrations, all depicting the world beyond The Colony.

There were stories. Fascinating and intriguing. Tales of criminal villains taking over towns and cities, while masked heroes fought and saved the humans from them.

Tales of girls in school- but not just any school, a high school. A place where the students were given a position in a social hierarchy. Where the ones on the top would wear pink on certain days of the week, writing about their classmates in horrible ways.

Daniel had told me those weren't real. But how did he know? Had he explored the entire world and come up with that conclusion? I didn't think so.

Walking past the old wooden sign, I walk into the clearing and move towards the wooden bench. Our bench, where we'd carved our names and secret messages.

The sun had just about set, casting a purple hue over the sky, I had stored my cellular device in my boot after climbing out of my bedroom window, and it hadn't been dark enough to use the flashlight ingrained into the tiny little rectangle.

Pulling it out, I turn it on, only to stop at the sound of rustling leaves. Slowly turning my head, I breathe again upon seeing a breathless Ella emerging from the trees.

As I'd said, Ella knew of my secrets. The clearing was now her secret just as much as it was mine.

"Missed you at Worship, even saved you a seat." She greets, taking the seat next to me on the bench.

I don't even offer her a smile. I'd been faking too many of those lately. "I wasn't feeling all too good."

She sends me a small, sad knowing smile; she knew how much I wanted to go to New York City. "Would you like to talk about it?"

I shake my head. I'd been thinking about it too much, and I'd finally been able to suppress the feelings. Talking would only bring them back.

She nods, deciding to move on. "So, what'd Father Lucas want? Don't tell me he actually scolded his number one girl." She teases.

I breathe out a laugh through my nose before reaching my hand into my pocket and pulling out the gold foil. "He gave me this." I open my palm and hold it up between us, allowing her to examine the object.

"What do you suppose it is?" Her confused voice asks as she narrows her eyes at it.

"He called it a con-dom," I repeat Father Lucas's words.

Ella pushes up her glasses and continues to examine the square close up. "Looks oddly similar to the spice packets that come in those Noodle packs they sell at the supermarket, wouldn't you say?"

I nod, seriously. "Or those packets of hand wipes, the ones you get after your meal down at the diner," I add.

She nods, but her eyes flicker up to mine. "How are you supposed to use it if you don't even know what it looks like?"

Exactly.

And so with another confused sigh, I explain to her how Father Lucas told me not to open it and that my assigned would know what to do.

"You don't suppose Google would know?" She suddenly asks, her eyes widening in curiosity. "After all, they are a genius."

"Brilliant idea!" I conclude, scolding myself for not thinking of it sooner.

We both huddle around my devices as I use the small finger keyboard to type in Con-dom.

"That one," Ella says, moving forward and tapping on a video labeled how to put on a condom for beginners.

"That's odd," I mumble, staring at the screen. "Where does the banana come into play?" I speak aloud as I tilt the screen so that the video is displayed sideways.

We both watch with curious eyes, and the video only leaves us puzzled with more questions. And so we spend the remainder of the hour delving into the world of condoms.

. . .

"That's a phallus!?" I shriek.

"That doesn't look appealing at all!" Ella screams, her face scrunching up in disgust, while I can't help but agree.

We had ventured far into the realm of condoms and what we now knew to be sexual intercourse, according to Google.

Not only were there lots of demonstrations on how to apply a condom, but there were visual aids of how it was used.

Google called it pornography.

The amount of information was overwhelming, yet we couldn't stop our curiosity as we scrolled through the various disturbing videos and pictures.

"She's screaming. This type of thing mustn't be good for the female." Ella adds watching in horror as the girl lets out scream after scream as the man does unimaginable things to her.

I nervously chew on my nails as I side-eye her. "Have you and Joshua done anything like that?" I ask hesitantly, referring to Ella's assigned soulmate Josua.

All Dillian and I had done was share kisses in private, as it was frowned upon to publicly display things like that. We didn't do it often, though, seeing as it was unnecessary and got us nowhere.

She nods as my eyes widen in shock. "Well? How was it?" I push.

She purses her lips and thinks for a moment. "Well, we didn't do that," she says, motioning to the screen of my phone. "We'd heard from some of his friends down at The Compound that there were other enjoyable things you could do. But it never felt as good for me as it did for him."