Chapter 3 nervously

Isabella

That night, I snuck out after curfew and ran towards the oak tree behind old man Winter's shed. He'd died a couple years ago, and no one dared to come up here anymore.

The dark didn't scare me, not when the moon was casting a light glow, illuminating enough of my surroundings. Besides, I was too preoccupied to let anything stop me.

I couldn't shake the sadness.

I was more than devastated, and no matter how many reassuring words I had received from Father Lucas, I was still upset.

No one understood. They all saw it as a blessing, even Michael, going as far as telling me how proud he was of me.

We don't talk of Daniel much, but today he told me he was glad one of his offspring didn't turn out to be a disappointment.

I wanted to correct him and tell him that Daniel was in no way a disappointment and that he was living his life in New York City, but I knew if they suspected I was in contact with him, I would be in big trouble.

Definitely grounds for punishment.

And so, I had resorted to plastering on an insincere smile, nodding obediently like the good girl they all thought I was, only to turn around and rebel in ways that were unheard of.

The guilt of lying to them didn't stop me from making my way through the forest towards the clearing.

Daniels clearing.

Instead, the thought just made my heart shatter all over again. For years, all I longed for was to be with my brother again.

The person I loved most. More than myself.

I hadn't seen much of him lately. It'd been exactly two months since we'd last spoken and four months since I'd last seen him.

He had long ago introduced me to the popular technological advancements of the outside world, even going as far as gifting me a cellular smart device.

However, it was purely to be used at the clearing and as a way to stay in contact with him. Since he was in New York City, which seemed to be a good distance away from us here, he couldn't keep making the trip up here.

At first, I was horrified by the device itself. No one in The Colony but Father Lucas was to have one, but once I started exploring the features, I couldn't stop.

Luckily, the clearing was a national campground. One that provided free access to the internet, so my cellular device only worked up here.

Ella was the only other person who knew of my secrets. We had spent numerous nights out here, scrolling through a world that was activated through the touch of one's finger.

We had even stumbled across the greatest world of them all.

It called itself Google.

From pictures to moving pictures referred to as videos, we'd spent hours surfing through Google, and there was still so much more to explore.

There were such things as articles, films, and illustrations, all depicting the world beyond The Colony.

There were stories. Fascinating and intriguing. Tales of criminal villains taking over towns and cities, while masked heroes fought and saved the humans from them.

Tales of girls in school- but not just any school, a high school. A place where the students were given a position in a social hierarchy. Where the ones on the top would wear pink on certain days of the week, writing about their classmates in horrible ways.

Daniel had told me those weren't real. But how did he know? Had he explored the entire world and come up with that conclusion? I didn't think so.

Walking past the old wooden sign, I walk into the clearing and move towards the wooden bench. Our bench, where we'd carved our names and secret messages.

The sun had just about set, casting a purple hue over the sky, I had stored my cellular device in my boot after climbing out of my bedroom window, and it hadn't been dark enough to use the flashlight ingrained into the tiny little rectangle.

Pulling it out, I turn it on, only to stop at the sound of rustling leaves. Slowly turning my head, I breathe again upon seeing a breathless Ella emerging from the trees.

As I'd said, Ella knew of my secrets. The clearing was now her secret just as much as it was mine.

"Missed you at Worship, even saved you a seat." She greets, taking the seat next to me on the bench.

I don't even offer her a smile. I'd been faking too many of those lately. "I wasn't feeling all too good."

She sends me a small, sad knowing smile; she knew how much I wanted to go to New York City. "Would you like to talk about it?"

I shake my head. I'd been thinking about it too much, and I'd finally been able to suppress the feelings. Talking would only bring them back.

She nods, deciding to move on. "So, what'd Father Lucas want? Don't tell me he actually scolded his number one girl." She teases.

I breathe out a laugh through my nose before reaching my hand into my pocket and pulling out the gold foil. "He gave me this." I open my palm and hold it up between us, allowing her to examine the object.

"What do you suppose it is?" Her confused voice asks as she narrows her eyes at it.

"He called it a con-dom," I repeat Father Lucas's words.

Ella pushes up her glasses and continues to examine the square close up. "Looks oddly similar to the spice packets that come in those Noodle packs they sell at the supermarket, wouldn't you say?"

I nod, seriously. "Or those packets of hand wipes, the ones you get after your meal down at the diner," I add.

She nods, but her eyes flicker up to mine. "How are you supposed to use it if you don't even know what it looks like?"

Exactly.

And so with another confused sigh, I explain to her how Father Lucas told me not to open it and that my assigned would know what to do.

"You don't suppose Google would know?" She suddenly asks, her eyes widening in curiosity. "After all, they are a genius."

"Brilliant idea!" I conclude, scolding myself for not thinking of it sooner.

We both huddle around my devices as I use the small finger keyboard to type in Con-dom.

"That one," Ella says, moving forward and tapping on a video labeled how to put on a condom for beginners.

"That's odd," I mumble, staring at the screen. "Where does the banana come into play?" I speak aloud as I tilt the screen so that the video is displayed sideways.

We both watch with curious eyes, and the video only leaves us puzzled with more questions. And so we spend the remainder of the hour delving into the world of condoms.

. . .

"That's a phallus!?" I shriek.

"That doesn't look appealing at all!" Ella screams, her face scrunching up in disgust, while I can't help but agree.

We had ventured far into the realm of condoms and what we now knew to be sexual intercourse, according to Google.

Not only were there lots of demonstrations on how to apply a condom, but there were visual aids of how it was used.

Google called it pornography.

The amount of information was overwhelming, yet we couldn't stop our curiosity as we scrolled through the various disturbing videos and pictures.

"She's screaming. This type of thing mustn't be good for the female." Ella adds watching in horror as the girl lets out scream after scream as the man does unimaginable things to her.

I nervously chew on my nails as I side-eye her. "Have you and Joshua done anything like that?" I ask hesitantly, referring to Ella's assigned soulmate Josua.

All Dillian and I had done was share kisses in private, as it was frowned upon to publicly display things like that. We didn't do it often, though, seeing as it was unnecessary and got us nowhere.

She nods as my eyes widen in shock. "Well? How was it?" I push.

She purses her lips and thinks for a moment. "Well, we didn't do that," she says, motioning to the screen of my phone. "We'd heard from some of his friends down at The Compound that there were other enjoyable things you could do. But it never felt as good for me as it did for him."