Chapter 4

Jermain was late. Again.

I sat on the bus, staring out at the blurred city lights, the empty seat beside me a stark reminder of his absence. My anxiety, a familiar, unwelcome guest, tightened its grip. He was always so particular about punctuality, always fretting if I was even a minute late. But for me? My presence seemed to be an afterthought now.

He used to be so attentive, so careful. My needs, my comfort, my fear of crowds. That was always his priority.

Then I saw them. Jermain, laughing, his head thrown back, his hand resting intimately on Cheri' s lower back. She was practically glued to him, her bright, cloying laughter piercing the night. They walked towards the bus, oblivious to my waiting. Oblivious to me.

He didn't even glance my way. Didn't scan the seats for me. Cheri, however, caught my eye. Her smile was sharp, triumphant. She whispered something in his ear, pulling him closer.

He finally looked up, his gaze sweeping over the bus, then landing on me. A flicker of something-guilt? recognition?-crossed his face. For a split second, I felt a familiar pang of longing, a foolish hope that he might still choose me. He started to walk towards my seat. My heart fluttered, a tiny bird trapped in a cage.

But Cheri tightened her grip on his arm. She whispered something else, her eyes locking with mine, a silent warning. He hesitated, then allowed her to steer him away, towards the back of the bus where his friends were already settled. He sat down next to her, a casual, dismissive toss of his backpack onto the floor beside him. It was a gesture that spoke volumes, a final, definitive abandonment.

I turned my head, my gaze fixed on the rain-streaked window, my face a mask of blank indifference.

A few minutes later, my phone vibrated. A text from Jermain. Sorry, babe. Cheri was feeling a bit off. Had to make sure she was okay.

No response.

Another text, almost immediately. You okay, Elia? You seem quiet.

Quiet. He still saw me as quiet. Not angry. Not heartbroken. Just quiet. He still thought of me as the damaged, dependent girl he had to manage. He still thought I needed his care, his attention. He still thought I was his.

My fingers flew across the screen. Three taps. Jermain Anderson. Block contact.

A brief, hollow satisfaction, quickly swallowed by the cavernous ache in my chest. My hands trembled slightly, but I forced them to stillness. I buried myself in my sketchbook, the rhythmic scratching of charcoal on paper a desperate attempt to drown out the noise in my head.

We arrived at the campsite, a sprawling expanse of muddy fields and pop-up tents. The organizers announced the first activity: a partner-based treasure hunt. Forced social interaction. My personal hell.

Cheri, a predatory gleam in her eyes, sauntered towards me, a sickly sweet smile plastered on her face. "Elia, darling! Ready to team up?" She reached for my arm, her touch possessive, almost aggressive.

I flinched, pulling my arm away. "No," I rasped, my voice still rough, my jaw clenched.

Her smile didn't falter, but her eyes narrowed, sharp and calculating. "Oh? You don't want to partner with me?"

"No," I repeated, firmer this time.

She leaned in, her voice a low, insidious whisper. "You know, Jermain's already with his friends. You'll be all alone out here. Unless you want to spend the whole day by yourself." She gestured towards his group, loud and boisterous in the distance. He didn't even notice me.

I stood my ground, unmoving, like a stone.

She tried again, her hand reaching out, her fingers brushing against my sleeve.

I recoiled violently, taking a step back.

Her smile vanished. Her eyes flashed with an ugly malice. "You bitch," she hissed, her voice barely audible. "You think you're so special, don't you? So fragile. Don't touch her, she might break!"

Then, with a dramatic gasp, she deliberately stumbled, letting out a theatrical shriek. Her feet tangled, and she went down, a flailing mess, landing with a loud thud in the mud.

Jermain, who had been laughing with his friends, was instantly at her side, his face a mask of frantic concern. "Cheri! Are you okay? What happened?"

She pointed a trembling finger at me, tears welling in her eyes. "She... she pushed me!"

My blood ran cold. Shock and outrage warred within me. "No!" I cried, my voice thin and trembling. "I didn't! She fell!"

A ripple of gasps and murmurs spread through the crowd. Accusatory stares pierced me, making my skin crawl. Jermain's friends surged forward, their faces contorted with anger.

"You heard her, Elia!" one of them sneered. "Why would you push her? Are you insane?"

"I didn't!" I insisted, my voice cracking, tears stinging my eyes. "She tripped! She did it on purpose!"

Cheri sobbed, clutching Jermain's arm. "She's always been so jealous, Jermain. So possessive. She can't stand that you chose me."

The whispers grew louder, morphing into a chorus of condemnation. My vision blurred. My hands started to shake. I felt trapped, cornered, the familiar walls of panic closing in.

Jermain looked at me, his eyes cold and hard, devoid of any warmth or understanding. "Elia," he said, his voice a low, chilling command. "Apologize to Cheri. Now."

"But I didn't do anything!" My voice was a desperate plea, lost in the rising tide of accusation.

"Don't make this worse than it has to be," he warned, his tone flat, devoid of emotion. "Just apologize. Let's move on."

"I... I can't apologize for something I didn't do!" My voice was barely a whisper.

"Do you want me to drag you over there?" he threatened, his voice a dangerous growl. "She's upset, Elia. You made her upset."

His words, his tone, were a betrayal far deeper than anything he'd said behind the door. He was choosing them. Again. Publicly. Unconditionally.

"Freak," one of his friends spat, glaring at me. "Always causing drama."

My body trembled with a mixture of rage and terror.

"Apologize!" Jermain commanded, his voice sharp, cutting through the muddy air.

He stood up, pulling Cheri with him, her head still buried in his shoulder. He walked towards me, his eyes fixed on mine, his expression unyielding. He grabbed my shoulders, his fingers digging into my skin.

My legs buckled. I sank to my knees, collapsing in front of Cheri, whose face was now hidden, her sobs still audible. The cold, wet mud seeped into my clothes. I was utterly humiliated.

Around me, phones were raised, capturing my public disgrace.

"Say it, Elia," Jermain whispered, his voice a chilling, icy command. "Say you're sorry."