Chapter 6 THE ELECTION OF THE SNAIL KING

When a village loses its grip on logic, the next step is obvious: an election.

"Let us choose a Snail King!" declared T.T. the Trickster at the community durbar, his voice rich with mischief and the smell of roasted plantain.

"Ei!" gasped Auntie Akos. "Even snails have politics now?"

"Yes," Nana Kwabena confirmed, adjusting his crown slightly. "We must give form to this... this movement. The people want leadership."

Within a day, banners were painted (on old funeral cloths), campaign songs were composed ("Snail Power, Slow but Sure!"), and candidates emerged.

Candidate 1: Kweku "Google" the schoolboy

His manifesto: "Free leafy greens for all snails. Free Snail classes. And monthly shell cleaning services!"

Candidate 2: Auntie Mansa the fishmonger

Her pitch: "As your queen, I promise fat, juicy, satisfied snails! Also, any opponent who insults me will find fish bones in their soup!"

Candidate 3: T.T. the Trickster (unofficial)

He didn't declare openly. But he stood behind every candidate, whispering, "Vote for me secretly. I'll reward you openly."

Debates were held.

"Madam Mansa," asked Kweku Google, "how will you prevent deforestation, which kills snail habitats?"

"Simple," she snapped. "We plant more trees. And chase goats from farms. Especially your uncle's goats!"

The audience roared.

Meanwhile, Pastor Isaiah had announced: "Only a God-fearing snail king can bring peace. Let us anoint the chosen with holy palm oil."

Chaos reigned.

T-shirts were printed. Someone wrote a campaign rap in Twi. The slogan? "Shells Up, Dreams Down!" Nobody understood it, but it rhymed.

On Election Day, the ballot box was a hollowed-out fufu mortar. Voters queued with their thumbs dipped in garden egg stew (there was no ink).

After intense counting (with interruptions from a goat that ate one ballot), the winner was declared:

Kweku "Google" by one vote!

But Auntie Mansa demanded a recount.

"This boy bribed the chickens! "she screamed.

The village was divided. But Nana Kwabena restored calm: "The snails have spoken. Or... crawled. Let us accept our new leader."

A golden leaf crown was made. Kweku was paraded through the village in a wheelbarrow.

And for the first time in history, Sikakrom had both a chief... and a Snail King.