Chapter 4 Silence

Chapter Four

Kierra's POV

I headed upstairs to freshen up and maybe grab something to eat before working on my projects. I really didn't even want to think about him right now. All I want is to sleep. I just need a really, really long nap. My head keeps banging, a result of too much crying. I can't even play anymore because I'm pretty sure I'll only end up crying some more.

"Honey, you home?" I heard Mum say as she walked in, locking the door behind her and dropping the keys on the couch.

"Hey, Mum..." I said, my voice hoarse from too much crying.

"Sweetie, are you okay? You sound down. What's wrong? Anything happen at school today?"

"No, Mum. It's nothing. I'll be fine."

"Don't wanna talk about it?" she asked gently. I nodded in affirmation.

"That's okay, dear. But remember, I really don't like seeing you in pain." She pulled me into a hug.

"It'll be okay, dear. What's meant for you will always find its way back to you, no matter what," she added.

I stared at her in shock. I didn't remember ever telling her I had feelings for Xander-or anyone, for that matter.

"Kierra, you home?" I heard Xander's voice from outside just as I was about to ask Mum what she meant by that.

"I'll leave you two to talk now. Remember what I said, okay?" she whispered before heading up the stairs.

I really didn't want to see him right now. I'm afraid I'll break down in front of him. I'm afraid he'll break the strong wall I've built up. I'm afraid he'll see behind the smile and the whole façade I put up. I can't see him right now.

"Umm, Xander, I can't find the keys to the door," I lied, speaking through the door.

"Ugh, that's too bad. I really wanted you to meet Jennifer..." he said, and I imagined him smiling sheepishly as I sniffled.

"Jennifer's here?" I asked, before quickly covering my mouth as my body trembled in sobs.

"Yeah, she's in the car. I've told her all about you, and she can't wait to meet you. I feel different about her. Usually, the girls I date get jealous, but Jennifer is dying to meet you. So, please, find the keys."

"Xander, I can't find them..." I repeated, my hands shaking.

"Xander, I'm tired. We'll see her tomorrow. Let's just go," I heard a voice from outside-it sounded like an angel.

"Okay. Bye, Bes," he said, and I heard their footsteps retreating.

"Bye, Kierra..." I heard her voice say.

I ran up the stairs and broke down in sobs in the comfort of my room, my whole being trembling in pain.

The sun rays hit me hard, and I realized I had slept in the same clothes from yesterday. My stomach rumbled, probably because I hadn't eaten anything before falling asleep. But strangely, I found myself covered with a blanket. The scent of sweet coffee hit my nostrils, and when I looked at my bedside table, I saw a hot cup of coffee and a note:

"I pray it's warm when you're up, and if it is, it means you're not late to school. So get your ass up and get ready. The coffee will help, but please eat something before you leave. Oh, and I dropped some tablets for the headache you might have-courtesy of your bad day yesterday. Love you.

-Momma."

"Love you too, Mum..." I muttered before sipping the coffee. Then I took the tablets and headed to the bathroom to freshen up and get dressed for school, trying as much as I could to put yesterday's events behind me.

It felt weird that Xander hadn't called to pick me up or at least asked if I was ready. Usually, he would be the first one to wake me up with his annoying phone calls, which I secretly enjoyed. It made me feel irreplaceable, like I was someone he couldn't start his day without. But today, there was only silence. That unnerving stillness made me reflect on things I had tried so hard to avoid.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard my phone beep. It seemed I already had two unread messages before the one that had just come in. One was from Seth, the other from Maya, and the most recent one was from Xander.

Last night, in the midst of my tears, I had promised myself I would try as hard as I could to erase him from my mind-to push him out of my heart for good, no matter what it took. Even if it meant I would end up getting hurt in the process. At least he'd be happy. And at least I would stop feeling this constant ache in my heart every single day.

So right now, the smart choice would be to answer Seth's message first, even if my heart was pulling me in a different direction. I just had to do it.

"Good morning, Kierra. I really hope I wasn't dreaming last night when you said yes. If I wasn't, I promise you won't regret it."

A little smile made its way to my cheeks as I read the text. I made a mental note to reply to him when I got to school-or better yet, talk to him in person. If Xander was going to honor his part of the deal, I supposed I should honor mine too. Besides, Seth seemed like a genuinely nice guy. So why not give it a chance?

As for Maya's message-it completely slipped my mind to talk to her yesterday. I had simply left after setting up their dinner. I felt a twinge of guilt for not checking in, especially since she was always there for me. I needed to make it up to her. Friends like Maya were rare, and I couldn't afford to take her for granted.

| Hey girly! Morning ☀️ Hope you slept well.

-Maya

Sending her a quick reply, I finally opened Xander's message.

I wondered why his car hadn't honked at me to rush downstairs or something. Then it hit me-what if something happened last night? What if he wasn't able to pick me up? And here I was, answering Seth's message first because of my stupidity when something could have occurred. What if my best friend needed me?

Damn. How stupid am I? I thought, before reading Xander's message:

"Hey Bes. Umm, I'm really sorry I can't pick you up for school today. Don't murder me yet-I have a good reason. Jennifer's parents are out of town, and so I just had to pick her up for school. Bes, please-I swear it's only for today. It won't happen again. I'll explain more at school. I'm so, so, so sorry.

-Xander"

I read it out loud, tears blurring my vision. Just one day into their relationship, and he was already picking her over me?

Tch. He was right-she's different. I couldn't remember the last time Xander picked a girl over me. He'd never, ever done that. He always put me first. But Jennifer hadn't even been with him for a day, and he had already had dinner with her, kissed her, and now he was taking her to school?

A little tear dropped, but I was quick to wipe it away.

No, Kierra. No more crying. You're not going to shed another tear for him ever again. You're only just a friend-nothing more. You'll be fine. Dad will take you to school, and that's all. You'll get over him no matter what. You'll stop loving him. That's a promise. I said to myself.

"Baby girl, you up yet?" I heard Dad say behind me.

"Morning, Dad..." I said, hugging him while grabbing my backpack.

"Morning, baby girl. Mum said to eat something, you know. But it's weird that Xander hasn't come for you yet..." he said, as my heart raced.

"Umm... Xander's not coming today. I'll just walk to school-or you can drop me off, Dad. It'll be fine."

"For nearly a year now, Xander never comes late to pick you up. Did you guys have a fight? Why would he suddenly stop coming?"

"No, Dad. We didn't have a fight. He just... needed to pick someone else today."

"Someone more important than you?" he asked, and that broke the camel's back. I felt my walls crumbling.

"You know what, dear? It's alright. Come on. I packed something for you to eat in the car. Let's get going," he said, and I heaved a sigh of relief, pretty sure I would have completely broken down if he had asked any more questions.

"Xander did what?!" Maya exclaimed, jumping out of her seat while I explained everything to her during recess before lunch.

By the time I got to school today, all eyes were practically on me. Everyone was so used to Xander dropping me off that it was strange to see my dad doing it this particular Wednesday. And by first period, the news of Xander and Jennifer had spread like wildfire. Everyone was talking about the girl Xander was so smitten with.

On the outside, I pretended like I wasn't affected by the rumors that Xander had gotten tired of me. But inside, I was broken-torn apart by him.

I avoided him like he was the plague. I knew I would scream at him if I saw him. I was that close to losing it. We'd been friends since childhood, and he had never, ever chosen anyone else over me. But barely a day into dating her, he had already gotten tired of me-just like everyone said. I couldn't bear to talk to him. I just couldn't.

I'd kept all my feelings bottled up all these years. But lately, it feels like he's slowly breaking that bottle. He's slowly making me want to scream to the world that I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM.

"Shhh! Maya, keep your voice down-please. Someone might hear," I said, quickly making her sit down.

"How can you expect me to keep calm after what he did to you?! How dare he?! Yes, he's your best friend-I get that. But he has no freaking right to treat you like trash, Kierra! Yes, you love him and can't stay mad at him forever, but if you dare talk to him today, I swear I'll slap you silly across the face and knock some sense into you!" she snapped.

"And Seth seems like a nice guy, but seriously, I don't think it's fair to use him to forget about Xander, Kierra. If you want to go out with Seth, let it be because you want to, not because Xander Thompson needs to get out of your head!"

She stood, ranting with full-on hand gestures. "Speaking of Xander, no one is going to talk me out of this. I swear, I'm gonna kill him when I see him. He has no right to leave you like that! And who the hell does Jennifer think she is? The car has space for more than one person, right? So why couldn't she suggest he pick you up first before her?! Huh?! Seriously, girly, you're too naive. You have to learn to get mad at people. You can't always accept all their shortcomings. Because after what he did today, you better not be thinking of forgiving him so easily. You better make him work for it, or else I'll make sure you get a really tight slap-maybe then your brain will be back to factory reset!"

She finished just as the bell rang for class.

"Bye, girly. Think hard about what I said, and don't make any silly decisions. You know I'll always look out for what's best for you. Muahh..." she said, blowing me a kiss before heading to class.

I had a free period now, while Maya had class-same as Seth and Xander.

Don't get me wrong, I just happened to know his schedule for the day. It's not like I was checking up on him or anything...

I felt a bit pressed, so I decided to head to the restroom before lunch. That way, I wouldn't have to avoid Xander later-especially since we usually ate lunch together. Only this time, I was pretty sure his little girlfriend would be at the table too.

"Look what the cat dragged in..." Kate said behind me.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class or something?" I asked, a bit more harshly than usual.

She gasped in shock, clearly surprised by my outburst. I didn't blame her. Normally, I would keep quiet and let her say whatever she wanted about me-all because of Xander. But not this time.

Because now, they weren't together anymore. Which meant I was free to do anything I wanted. Which meant I could finally stand up for myself.

"Wow. You've grown some balls, I see. Too bad Xander had to leave you before that. No surprise there," she scoffed.

"That's funny, you know. Because if I remember clearly, Xander left you not too long ago. I'm surprised you can still show your face at school," I replied, keeping my tone even.

"After what happened this morning, I'm surprised you can show your face at all," she said, smirking.

"What happened this morning?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Oh, that's right-you were missing in action since Xander was too busy with his new girlfriend, I guess."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frowned.

"You should've seen the way they were all over each other at school this morning. Personally, I think he's in love with her," she said, grinning.

"That's good, then. I'm happy for him," I said, trying to sound convincing.

"You know what, Kierra? I really don't get why you hide your feelings for him. Oh wait-I know! Maybe it's because you know he'll never love an ugly duckling like you, right? Like I said, you might have broken us up, but the fact remains he'll always love you as a friend. Kierra, get that into your brain: you're just a friend. So stop hoping for something that isn't meant to be. You and Xander are not meant to be. Bye-bye now. Have fun..." she said, swaying her hips as she walked off, leaving me behind.

I walked into the restroom, my fists clenched.

"Calm down, Kierra. You don't care. You really don't care. Her words won't affect you..." I muttered to myself, splashing cold water on my face, trying to wash away the sting of her comments.

I took a deep breath, forcing myself to regroup before stepping out of the restroom just as the bell rang, signaling the start of lunch break.

"Hey, Kierra..." Seth said, approaching me from behind.

"Oh, hey, Seth..." I replied, forcing a smile onto my face, hoping to shake off the heaviness in my chest.

"I knew I was dreaming last night when you said yes. You must've found it really creepy because you didn't reply to my messages this morning..." he said, disappointment coloring his voice.

"Oh right! I was kinda late-that's why. And no, Seth, you weren't dreaming. I'd love to go on a date with you. Saturday night it is, right?"

"Seriously? Yeah, yeah-of course! It's a date! And, um, about the party on Friday... I'd love it if you saved me a dance too," he said, giving me that pleading look that made my heart flutter.

"I'd love to, Seth," I said, smiling genuinely for the first time all day.

"Alright then. I'll leave you to it. I'll see you... whenever, I guess. It's a date," he said, smiling as he walked away, leaving me buzzing with anticipation.

"You're going on a date with him?" came a cold voice from behind me.

I turned slowly and met Xander's gaze-angry, hurt, confused. The smile vanished from my face in an instant, replaced by a scorn of my own. The flutter of excitement in my stomach twisted into a knot of anxiety. His piercing eyes felt like they were searching me, demanding answers I wasn't ready to give.

The tension between us was thick. My heart raced. A storm brewed between us-unspoken words, shattered promises, buried feelings all rising to the surface.

How dare he show up like this?

And why, suddenly, did it matter to him who I chose to spend my time with?