Chapter 1 Just Friends

KIERRA'S POV

OMG. OMG. OMG. I'm so dead right now.

Xander hardly ever gets mad at me, but when he does... he's a force to reckon with. Still, Maya wouldn't dare tell him about the note, right? It could've been any note she was holding just now. She could've been smiling because something amazing happened. She knows me too well-she knows I would literally kill her if she dared tell him.

"Umm, hey Xander..." I said nervously, watching him stare me down. His fists were clenched tight, and he looked furious-boiling.

"Explain to me why you didn't tell me Kate was assaulting you," he snapped.

I swallowed. Hard.

"Kate???"

"Yes. Kate. The bitch who dared to insult you."

"Xander..." I seethed, my voice low with warning.

"What, Kierra? I've told you a million times to tell me when these things happen. But no-you'd rather keep it to yourself and get hurt in the process. And you know what I'd do just to protect you. Yet you still keep everything bottled up. Huh?"

He paused, voice rising.

"You know I would've dumped her sorry ass the moment you said something. But you had other plans, right? And yeah, it was just notes this time. But what if it gets physical, Kierra? What if she starts hitting you? All because of me? And you expect me to be okay with that?!"

I couldn't look him in the eye. I stared at the floor as his voice cracked again.

"Why didn't you tell me? We're best friends, Kierra! We're supposed to tell each other everything. There are no secrets between us. So why keep this one?"

I still didn't respond.

"You're not hiding anything else... right?" he asked, his tone sharp.

"Yes, Kierra. Tell him what else you're hiding," Maya's voice chimed from behind him.

"Xander... Umm..."

"You're hiding something, aren't you? What is it, Kierra? Because sooner or later, I'll find out. And by then, it won't be so funny. So, spill now. What are you hiding?"

The fact that I'm hopelessly in love with you.

I screamed it in my head. Nearly screamed it to his face.

But instead, I whispered, "Nothing, Xander. I'm not hiding anything from you."

"So what if your flings pick on me? So what if they leave nasty notes? So what if they abuse me? So what, Xander? You can't always get everything you want. It hurts. I know it hurts-God, it hurts like hell. But that's life. Sometimes the things you love... hurt you the most. And you just have to deal with it because that's what life is," I said, voice breaking as tears filled my eyes.

"Kierra..." He took a step forward, his voice softening. "You know how much I care about you, right? Please don't hide things from me. We're besties. Never forget that."

"I can't, Xander. You mean too much to me. And the reason I didn't tell you? Because you were gonna break up with her soon anyway. You never stay with a girl for more than a week. All your flings do that to me-they pick on me, but they're too heartbroken to get close. Kate wouldn't be an exception. So I saw no reason to even speak about it."

"Still, Kierra. I deserved to know. You should've told me."

"Told you? What difference would it have made?"

"A lot, in fact. I'll show you. Just watch," he said, pointing behind me.

I turned and saw Kate walk into the cafeteria like it was a beauty pageant and she was the crown holder of Evergreen High.

"Take a seat, Kierra," Xander said, gesturing to the seat beside him-Kate's usual spot.

"But..."

"Trust me, Bes. Sit," he said, grinning.

I hesitantly sat down.

"Hey, boo," Kate said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. He pulled away instantly.

"What's wrong, babe? And more importantly-why is she in my seat?" Kate sneered at me.

"It's not your seat anymore, Kate. And more importantly, I'm not your 'boo'. Because we're over."

He said it like it meant nothing.

"Wait, what?! You can't be serious! Xander, you said you loved me! And I love you! Xander, please-you can't do this."

"And you can't call my best friend a whore, Kate. So we're done. And if you didn't get that, I'll spell it out for you-"

"You can't be serious! I'm beautiful! I'm sexy! Guys would kill to date me!"

"Kate. You're dumb, you're cruel, and you hurt my best friend. So yes, we are over. And if you ever, ever try to hurt her again, I'll make sure Evergreen High knows exactly who their 'queen' really is. You can go now-I've got lunch to enjoy. With people who actually matter."

"Xander..." she gasped.

"What, Kate? I'm a player. What did you expect? That I'd go down on one knee, propose, and we'd live in a mansion happily ever after?"

He laughed, eyes cruel.

"That crap happens in dreams, not real life. And even if you were the last girl on earth, I'd let the human race go extinct before I marry you. I'd be doing the world a favor."

"Xander, I swear-you'll come begging. And when you do? I won't take you back! I swear it! You'll regret hurting me. And you..." she turned to me, pointing.

"You might have broken us up, but Xander will never be yours. No matter how badly you want him. No matter how much you desire him-he'll never be yours. He'll never love you. At least I got the chance to hug him, to caress him, to love him. But you? That'll only ever happen in your imagination. Because Xander Thompson will only see you as a friend."

She stormed out.

I sat there, stunned. My heart... shattered.

I could barely eat during lunch. The guys talked football like nothing happened. Maya kept glancing at me, silently apologizing. I wasn't even mad at her. I understood. She did it to protect me.

But the truth?

Kate's words cut deep. Deeper than she knew. Because she was right. She got to touch him. Love him. Kiss him. Maybe even more. While I... I just dream.

My unrequited love would take me nowhere. But I couldn't stop loving him. I kept hoping. Kept crying. And it still hurt. Badly. So, so badly.

But I still loved him. So, so freaking much.

After lunch, it was just more classes. Xander seemed over Kate already. Meanwhile, I was nursing a scar no one could see. Her words lingered. Burned.

Like always, I stuck around, waiting for Xander to grab his stuff or-ugh-flirt with girls. I usually avoided both, especially since his football teammates loved hitting on me. Or worse-watching him make out with another girl right in front of me.

I've gone through a lot being close to him. Watching him date different girls. Pretending it didn't hurt. But it did. Every time. Especially when his flings made out in front of me just to make me jealous. And it worked. Every time. I'd excuse myself. Go cry. Then come back like nothing happened.

Still, the pain never got easier.

"Hey, Bes..." I heard his voice behind me.

Surprisingly, he was early. Which meant... no flirting? No number collecting? No making out?

Weird.

"Bes, let's go. Usually, you're the one rushing me. What's wrong? Did Kate..."

"No. Of course not, Xander. I'm just... tired, that's all."

"In that case... I know just what'll make you feel better."

"Oh really? What's that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"ICE CREAM!" he shouted, grinning.

I squealed.

Xander knew ice cream was my kryptonite. He always got me some when I was mad at him-or when he needed a favor. It was kinda our thing. Our little chill spot. Just us.

"Wow. So mature," he teased as I licked my popsicle.

"Shut up, you," I said, smacking him lightly.

"Ouch," he groaned dramatically.

"Wow. He's soooo mature," I mocked.

"Argh. Anyway, I need a very, very big favor, Kierra," he said, looking serious as I dropped my snack.

"And here I thought this was free," I joked. "Sure. Ask me anything."

"How do you ask a girl out?" he said.

I choked.

"WHAT?!"

"You remember our deal? I'd try to make my next relationship last longer, and you'd finally date someone too. I was gonna try it with Kate. But since she was mean to you, I can't. I just can't."

"If it's not Kate, then... who?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Jennifer," he said.

And just like that, tears welled up again