Chapter 6 Marry me

"I don't." I confirmed as his eyes shown with a handful of strangeness I couldn't define.

"Oh," was all he said still appearing confused.

"Well, try it out a bit.. have a sip, you'll like it." His smile appeared forced.

I didn't want to but my gaze which was settled on it made me grab the glass as if I was controlled by an external force. I took a sip and then another and then another until I downed the whole glass. He's right, it's damn good. I didn't know alcohol can be this interesting. I smiled at the bottle and he smiled at me confirming his thoughts. I made to pour myself some more but he stopped me.

"Don't want you getting drunk again," he mused as I frowned at his statement. I'd been drunk before? I scanned my memory, even Abel knew I don't drink and he never offered me some and here I am being told I'd been drunk before by someone who I haven't even known for long. When did I? Still scanning my memories, I remembered I had puked until my stomach hurt and I had felt hungover, described with headaches, sore throat and dizziness. But I don't remember having had a drink talk more of noting a particular brand that I like.

I can't explain how I grabbed the bottle from his hand and gulped some of its content. This is unlike me. I don't feel like me. I felt something inside me wanting to drink more and having more taste of alcohol.

Scott stopped me and willed me to leave the dinning hall with him. I wasn't drunk, at least I didn't feel drunk, yet. I was just starting to feel chirpy. I smiled more and I felt loosed from a bondage. A good feeling indeed.

I left the dinning hall in his hold. His hand was again round my waist and my frame was brought too close to his skin. As we headed back to the room, I felt his eyes occasionally on me like I was going to disappear any minute. I felt his body tense as we got into the room and then he let me go.

We were still at close range, neither of us moving as we stared into each other's eyes.

"It's good you're not drunk," he said as I held back a giggle. His eyebrow perked up in question.

"I'm not drunk." I confirmed his stare and then decided to close the distance between us. "I'm still sober," I inched up to his height and whispered in his ear.

He caught my waist before I could level my feet to the ground. "It's good cause I'd like you to be sober when I do this.." his lips claimed mine in the most sensational manner. I accepted his plunge into my mouth as my hands circled his neck, pulling him in.

Good. I needed that, my whole body responded to his touch and when we slowly pulled up to the bed, I was sure I didn't want him to stop because I didn't want to. He paused his kisses and we both locked eyes as he slowly laid me down, half his frame on me. He didn't take his eyes off of me and I liked the way it scanned my face and down my body which made my skin heat up under his scrutinizing gaze. His eyes became darker and desire emanated from off of him. I brought my eyes down to his lips anticipating more..

"If we go on like this, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop myself," his voice was soft with a tinge of determination.

I didn't care about what he said, I was only concerned about my burning and anticipating lips which were not letting me think.

I hummed something incoherent that even I couldn't make out. He's done something to all my senses and I seemed to struggle to breathe.

I hate the wait and it was definitely drilling holes into my skin. I made to bring his lips to claim mine again..

"Marry me," he said thickly before our lips could collide. My previously sleepy eyes shown with shock. I didn't realize I was trapped in his possessive hold until I attempted to flip over to escape his hold. He didn't let me..

"Faye.. ," he said with intense softness. "Marry me." He proposed again. His eyes begged me to say yes but I thought it wrong in capital letters and in all shades too. Marry him? Is he serious? What?

My eyes which were still on him sparkled with shock. How could I? It's crazy! I can't get married to him or any man at that, I'm too fucked up for that. I can't give the love that I have lost for myself and certainly don't feel towards myself to someone else, to this man. I can't do it.

"Please say yes," he mumbled as he slowly pushed the strand of hair from my face. His eyes begged me but my own heart has long before now decided against any form of commitment, even I already don't see the possibility of becoming a good wife or even at some point, a good mother. Will he understand my reasons for rejecting him?

"I can't.. Scott.." I muttered, my gaze even more concentrated on him. "I'm too fucked up," I said as tears brimmed in my eyes.

He slowly brushed off a lone tear that escaped from my eyes. Great, I cry almost all the time now, it's insane. "Who isn't?" He countered. "You can give names.. just tell me who on earth isn't fucked up and I could give the person or those persons," he laughed softly, making me crack up as I laughed amidst tears. "A fraction of my wealth." He smiled genuinely at me.

This man.. I didn't know when my hands clutched his clothing. He placed a soft kiss on my left cheek.

"I want you Faye.." he shook his head. " No, I need you."

He needs me. Scott, the man who saved my life and took care of me, needs me. The man who has not ceased to be supportive towards me, needs me. A man who I've done absolutely nothing for, needs me. A man who I've given up nothing for, says he needs me. A man whose whiff spin heads, a man whose hospitality is second to none, a man whose gaze and beauty could cripple a woman, a man whose touch could be likened to the feel of heaven, and a man whose kiss is beyond addiction, has said he needs me.

I clasped my eyes shut, but I have absolutely nothing good and positive to offer, if anything I think I'll only make him suffer. I've been drained and destroyed inside and out by someone who only deserves hell as a permanent abode leaving me with absolute crumbs to live on with.

Now I'm scared to accept this man, I'm scared to accept Scott and give him the love he deserves. He might end up like me, completely broken and shattered and we'll both suffer from all the effects. I don't want that for him and as for me, I'm already damned, damned to rot; definitely not a ideal wife.

"I need you too but.." he shushed me.

"Just say yes," he brushed his lips against mine. "Say yes and you need not worry about anything else.. I'm well aware of everything, and I promise we'll be fine." He assured me. He's aware of everything?

My eyes were still closed as he caressed my body which almost caused me to turn into flames.

Then I slowly opened my eyes and was met with his, waiting for me and staring like he could eat me up like a snack. I released my hand from clutching his clothes and brought it to his face, in a manner I was unsure of.

I let out a little sigh. Since I'll definitely be sentenced to rot with all the scars that I bear, I'd better rot in piles and slowly by this man's side. Since I'd probably fade either way, I'd better clive and fade in this man's arms. It's hard to want to abode with this man, knowing fully well that I'd bleed on him when he didn't cut me. I also know I shouldn't place it all on probability, but this man deserves the snow and I've decided to go to the moon and back even if I could give him a snowflake.

I gave him a slight nod, "yes.. yes I'll marry you.. Scott," I cracked up more smiles for him as he let out a contented laugh and placed dozens of kisses on my face whilst declaring lots of 'thank you's'. I giggled at his actions. When he locked eyes with me, I could tell he felt content.

I couldn't describe in words how it made me feel or if I actually felt anything close to content but if the subtle unsettling at the pit of my stomach could actually be attributed to anything, it'd be that I felt safe and that I could now step down from my high horses trying to figure it all out by myself and for myself. I have a partner who needs me now and also one whose presence and clutch, I want to tarry in for as long as the heavens will permit and then together, we can both accept and endure the drizzle of the rain and the storm that'll come along with it.

He took my lips in his again and with every brush of our lips in sync, I felt the intensity grip me and that made me cling more unto his warmth. He slowly pushed off the straps of my dress from off my arms, his lips slowly devouring mine. Then my hands gradually rested on his stripped shirt and made to slowly bring it off over his head, he let me touch his arbs and he seemed amused by my moves. Then I felt his strong muscular build and that made crazy thoughts twirl in my senses and as if he was immediately triggered, he brought my small frame completely under his, giving our bodies matching opportunities to tangle.

He seemed to be an antidote my body needs to effectively function and of course, I gladly accepted this antidote without question.