Chapter 2 Hospitality

He beckoned to me to join him at the dinning table and I scoffed, so loud that he stared at me like a weirdo. I don't care. Let's go see what we're having for breakfast.

I settled my ass on a stool and decided to stuff myself with pancakes. I never knew he made them so good. Well, it's not like I actually know anything about him but his pancakes are damn good. I watched the way he sipped his tea and immediately thought about making out with him after breakfast.

"You like?" He asked referring to the pancakes.

"I love.." I said amidst eating. "Trust me", I added with a knowing smile. Pancakes are good.. but compared to him? Nah..

He chuckled. "So what do you remember Faye?"

I froze. Did he just call me Faye? He noticed the shock on my face.

"Don't be shocked, I got to know your name from this", he slipped a tiny note to me with an amused expression. I opened the note and it read, you're everything to me Faye. I squeezed it, "I'm not Faye!"

He looked confused. He's crazy! I'm not that soft bitch! I liked the confusion written all over his face and at the same time, I hate it. I'm not her and can never be! I squeezed the paper further and tried to calm my nerves. I could make due with a glass of wine right now, my eyes searched the kitchen to find my route to complete relief. I went to the fridge and opened it, damn this dude is loaded. I felt the initial thrill again, I love being happy alongside getting what I want. I made my choice and moved to settle on my stool not forgetting taking an appropriate glass with me.

I poured myself some and gulped it and oh, there's nothing like this feeling. My eyes then met his and he looked totally undisturbed but appeared to be closely observing my every move. I Ignored him and downed some more wine.

"Who are you then?" He asked softly and I slyly settled my gaze on him, feeling superior. I love superior, I love me.

"Faya.." I said meeting his eye balls. " My name's Faya and not Faye" I clarified cheerfully.

"Faya?" He looked to be in deep thought. It's his business. I'm here and in charge. Faye's stupid. I'm the bearer not her. I do whatever I want.

"Yes and pls, I'd like to enjoy my drink in peace." I eyed him and departed to the sitting room. I relaxed myself. Oh God.. it's been so long I had a little treat. This feels nice. I threw out the cushion pillows and laughed out loud. It's his house but it could be my rules. I giggled, not caring about anything in this world.

"Faya.." hearing his soft voice from behind made me feel a tinge of guilt. Is he an asshole or what?

I looked at him like he's nothing where I stand.

"Do you remember what happened before the accident?" He now sat beside me. I gulped a glass full of wine.

"Of course I do.." I giggled. "It's fucked up".

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

"Well, it wouldn't have happened if Abel didn't fuck up. He's a douche.."

"Abel? Who's Abel?"

"He's an asshole Faye fell in love with.."I winced, of course I remember it all. "That soft bitch!" I laughed cynically.

"And who's Faye?" I gulped another glass full of wine as I tried to shake off the upcoming effects.

"She's.." I tried to keep my eyes open and at the same time, tried to think of what to say. Why have I become dump and blank?

"Who?" He pressed.

I was tipsy and I like the feeling of being light, of feeling light, like the whole world is light and weightless. He came close and robbed me of my glass and bottle. He's crazy. I tried to keep my body still as he held me still.

"You've had more than enough Faye," he tried to control my movements.

"I told you I'm.. no..t Faye.." I slipped in and out of consciousness.

"You shouldn't have had so much," he said.

I giggled out loud. "I .. told you.. I'm not.." I giggled more. " I'm not.. Faye you ass.. asshole!"

A strange conviction etched his features and I felt if anything, I felt relief that he finally caught on. I tried to keep my eyes open. "Y.. you.. cute asshole!" I smiled at his features. Even in my state, I resolved that with that cuteness? He's worth a thousand stitches and that made me blush red. I caught a hint of genuine smile from the way he seemed to read me like a book. "You're cute".

I fell on him with my head over his shoulders. I want to sleep, the rest of the world can wait. I feel him grab me like a baby. I loved the feel of him against me and I immediately felt sorry for him. I'm Faya, not Faye. I drifted to sleep.

I felt warm contact on my hand as I slowly opened my eyes and met his eyes. Has he been here all day? Soft groans escaped my throat. Have I been sleeping all day? He's been watching me sleep? I held back a scoff and looked away feeling weak on my legs.

"Are you practicing to be a guardian angel or something?" I mumbled under my breath. He looked concerned.

"How long have you been watching me for?" I asked as he adjusted himself.

"It's good you're awake now." He said and moved away from the bed. What's up with him?

"Where are you going?" I asked after him.

"Now that you're awake, don't you think I should put myself to good use?" He walked out the door.

I sighed and immediately felt bile rise to my throat, I rubbed my tummy, thinking it'll ease up but no, and then it got worse. I quickly left the bed and rushed into the washroom. I threw up, so much that my belly hurt and I felt empty. Was I drunk? I took some water and then spat it out as I stared at myself in the mirror, my eyes were puffy and my face, pale. I looked terrible plus I felt hungover. How long has it been since I actually took good care of myself? I walked out of the washroom and then sat on the bed as I noticed a crumpled paper on the bed table, I grabbed it and read its content. A wave of pain hit me as I bit my lip. I recognized those scribblings and I remember it now. The memories hit me like musk and like every other time I've been through the inevitable effect of every thought and memory, I felt drained yet again. I started to feel tears blur my vision and I tried to blink them back.

"Abel.." I almost cursed the day I met him but I've cursed myself more times than I'm comfortable admitting for loving him so much. I bit my lip hard.. I still do, I still love him and I hate that I still do.

"Faye.. " I snapped my head to the door and met his eyes. "Abel.." I muttered as I didn't even feel like hiding my tears and in depth pain. I'm too used to doing that over the years and I'm done with hiding. I guess it's solely because I feel so tired and exhausted that it hurts. It hurts so deep I clutched my throat so as to not weep and scream out at the top of my lungs. I'm used to doing that too because I've cried myself to sleep on nights that seemed to hold out fair share of frustration to me and dish out doses of pity that resulted from constant anxiety and heartbreak. I clasped my eyes shut. Who knew a crumpled piece of paper could do more damage than a crashed train?

Before I noticed, he was beside me holding my hands.

"Faye, what's wrong?" He asked softly. "Faye.. open your eyes and look at me."

"Abel.." was all I could mutter as more tears rushed down my face completely drenching the paper. What did I do so wrong?

"Who's Abel?" He seemed to tighten his hold on my hands. "Tell me who he is.." then he slowly brought my eyes to meet his. My eyes was already burning with probing tears but I could tell he was disturbed and.. deeply concerned. I looked down to his grip on my hands. It brought all the cursed memories back to me.

"He.. he.. took advantage of everything I gave up for him.." I mumbled, he gently squeezed my hands urging me on to continue. "He.. he raped me." I tried to meet his eyes but couldn't, how can I? How can I even accept myself.. I'm not the same. I can't be whole again and I sure as hell won't heal from this curse. How could I still love someone so hideous? Someone who didn't give two shits about me!

He pulled me into his embrace. "I'm sorry." And that opened the floodgates. I cried, screamed and struggled thinking it'd make me feel better but it only made me more weak. I've always been weak against Abel and everything he did to me and I never stood up or defended myself. I couldn't. Was it love? Was love that stupid and weak? I hated everything, even more the fact that I still love him.

"I'm truly sorry," he whispered, that was when my hands circled him accepting his embrace. It was one of the luxuries I've yearned for.. all my dedicated years to Abel. He never saw me, he never appreciated my efforts, he took it all for granted. He made me beg for his love. It's all my fault, I didn't back off when I should and the first time he made me cry, I defended him and stuck so close like bubble gum to the wall. I'm all to blame. Even when he passed his scribblings to me, telling me I'm everything to him, it was all an underlying note of contempt and mockery which I bagged with unquestioned acceptance.

I remained in his comfortable embrace till I was calm enough to pull out. I avoided his eyes as he made me look at his face.

"He's an asshole for taking advantage of you.." he said softly, "but your past shouldn't define you Faye", he whispered like he was unsure at the word 'define'. "Don't let it," he added as a genuine smile played at his lips. His smile was contagious and I tried to return it but failed. I'm already broken and can't be fixed or mended.

He then flicked out the threads of tears on my face and caressed my right cheek with care and then smiled more at me.

He sighed. "I've got some feminine clothes in the closet, make your choice and get ready. We're going on a trip". He spoke and left my side. On a trip? To where? I wanted to ask but decided against it.

"Feminine clothes?" I asked instead. "Your girlfriend's?" He stopped by the door not looking at me. His shoulders dipped making it obvious he had sighed heavily.

"My sister's". He said and disappeared from the doorway. His sister's? My eyes settled on the closet for a while, after which I went into the bathroom to shower. Several thoughts ran through my mind and I know I shouldn't trust him but something tells me I could and that it's safe to. I let the water attempt to wash away the feel of Abel from my skin alongside the excruciating memory of desire and also, the height of stupidity.