Chapter 8 Eight

I look at her with narrowed eyes and smirk. "You're one to talk, Mom. From what I heard, you weren't a saint when you were young either."

"For your information, young lady, at your age I was already a mother. I didn't drink all the alcohol I could get my hands on," she retorts bitterly.

"Yeah, but you did when we were in college," Dad chimes in, his eyes still focused on the newspaper.

The outrage is evident on Mom's face, and Chad and I laugh, dropping our heads back while Dad pretends he didn't say anything.

While they bicker, Chad and I finish our breakfast. Eventually, Lauren walks in, looking just as bad as I feel. The only difference is that she is still wearing her dress. Her makeup is smeared across her face, making her look like a panda.

"Glad to know I'm not the only one feeling embarrassed today," I say, getting to my feet and grabbing my keys. Lauren flips me off since our parents aren't looking, and I laugh. "Is there anything for me to do downtown?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. I need to return these containers to the bakery. Could you drop them there for me?" Mom gets up and walks to the kitchen counter where three big boxes are piled up.

"Sure."

"Need some help, Hays? I can go with you," Chad offers.

"Yeah, if you're free."

"I also need you to pick up the roast chicken at Bob's restaurant. He said he'd prepare it for me since I won't have time to cook lunch today," Mom explains, handing me one of the containers..

It's really heavy, but I'm used to it, having helped at the ranch my entire life. Heavy lifting is just a daily chore around here, so it's not a problem. Chad joins us and grabs the remaining containers before we head to my car. It was Dad's before he got his new truck, but I'm so attached to it that even though it's old and begging for a makeover, I can't seem to be able to get rid of it. The paint is chipped, and the seats could use a new leather cover, but I like it the way it is.

Chad and I climb inside, and I start the car, driving off. We remain quiet for a few minutes, but it is not an uncomfortable silence. I know Chad is not judging me for what happened. He told me that yesterday, and deep down, I always knew he isn't like that. But I still feel bad about it.

"Sorry about last night," I finally say, my voice so low I wonder if he hears me.

I feel his eyes on me, but I keep mine on the road ahead.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he replies. "I know you were drunk, but I appreciate you opening up to me. We've never talked about it, and I respected you and your space, but it felt good to finally get it off my chest."

I shoot him a sideways glance, unsure of what to say. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Thank you for being such a good brother to me, and a good friend to Spencer. I know it wasn't easy for you, but I appreciate you not making things harder for us than they have to be."

Chad huffs, somewhat frustrated. "How can you be so kindhearted? You should be blaming me for keeping my friendship with him, not thanking me for being nice to him."

I chuckle, finally reaching Mom's bakery and parking in front of it. "What can I say? That's how our parents raised us."

"Yeah, not me. I'd be cursing you if you stayed on my ex's side," Chad adds in a joking tone.

We take the containers inside the store and place them under the counter. While we're closing the door, two women who work at the city hall pass by us, so engaged in conversation that they don't even notice our presence.

"Did you hear he's coming back to Missoula?" one of them says cheerfully. "I wonder what made him want to return. He was successful, wasn't he?"

"Yeah. I wonder what it's going to be like now. The Jenkins girl must be devastated. I heard he took a date to the wedding?" a woman I recognize as Mrs. Hudson adds.

Chad clears his throat, drawing their attention to us. The look on their faces is laughable when they realize I'm the one they were talking about.

"Oh, hi there, kids. I heard your brother got married last night. Congratulations!" Mrs. Hudson mutters, evidently embarrassed that she got caught gossiping about us.

"Thank you," I reply with a wide smile. I'm not fond of small town gossip, but catching someone off guard is always so much fun. "I'll be sure to pass along your best wishes to him, Mrs. Hudson."

Chad and I nod, leaving them to it as we head back to the car. The two women leave in a hurry, eager to vanish from our sight.

"Congratulations my ass," Chad murmurs when we climb back inside.

I laugh, driving us to Bob's restaurant. I park in front of it, waiting for Chad to run inside and grab Mom's chicken so we can get back to the ranch for our family lunch.

"This city is pathetic with all this gossiping," Chad complains as soon as he gets back to the car.

"What happened?" I ask, driving us home.

"All everyone is talking about is Spencer's return. Like...why do they care? It's no one's business." He huffs, staring out the window.

"Speaking of which..." I begin, taking the opportunity to satiate my own curiosity. Last night I didn't have the chance to ask Chad about it, and now seems like a good moment. "What is the deal with him returning anyway? I thought he was successful and rich. Why would he leave LA and come back to Montana?"

I feel Chad's darting gaze turn toward me, but I keep my eyes on the road, not wanting to give myself away. I know he's probably thinking I'm interested in Spencer's life, but truth be told, I'm really just curious. It makes no sense that, after seven years, he'd return with no explanation at all.

"Apparently, he's tired of the big city life. He'll keep working from here while trying to start his own label," Chad replies matter-of-factly.

"He wants to start his own label?" It's hard to hide the surprise in my tone. Not that I don't think Spencer can do it, but only because I never thought he'd one day return to Missoula, let alone start a business here.

"Spencer has the money and contacts for it," Chad points out. "I don't see why it wouldn't work. He'd be closer to his family and friends."

"Right..." I concede.

This is my main reason for remaining in Missoula my whole life. My family means everything to me. I couldn't see myself moving to a completely different city, away from everyone I loved, to start anew. I wasn't brave enough to do it, and honestly, I wouldn't change my decision if I could go back in time. Maybe I would've handled things in a more mature way, but what did I know when I was seventeen?

"Is Millie coming with him?" The words sound too inquisitive for my taste. But I can't help it.

Chad shifts uncomfortably on the seat beside me and clears his throat before answering me. "Well, I think Millie is what we'd call a fling. So, no, I don't think she's coming with him."

I frown, suspicious. "A fling?"

"Why are you asking me these things?" Chad retorts, a bit bothered.

I gasp, darting an ugly stare in his direction. "What? I'm just curious. What's the big deal? You're his best friend. Who should I ask about it?"

"No one?" he suggests in an obvious way. "Why are you so interested in what he's doing? You're not...still into him, are you?"

I hit the brakes, frustration seeping into me.

"What is wrong with you? You're the one making a big deal out of this," I snap back, infuriated by his accusation.

"I just asked a question. You didn't have to almost kill us." Chad runs his fingers through his hair, equally irritated. "It was an honest question, Hayden. You overreacting like this makes me believe I may be right."

I open and close my mouth several times to give him an answer, but no words come out of it. I want to tell him he couldn't be more wrong, that not even in a million years, and if the salvation of humanity depended on it, I'd never get back with, or even consider, a life with Spencer again.

But, deep down, something within me holds my tongue, preventing me from speaking.

I can't still be into Spencer. That would be the stupidest mistake I could ever make. And that's saying a lot.

"Good Lord, you still like him," Chad utters in a whisper, his voice so low that I barely hear him.

"Shut up!" I burst, turning away from him and speeding up. Suddenly, all I want is to be away from Chad and his judgmental remarks. I know he's not technically judging me, but still... I don't like the way it makes me feel.

"Hays..."

"I said shut up," I repeat through clenched teeth. "Don't you dare speak about this with anyone, or I'll kill you."

I mean...what's the point in trying to deny it? Chad can read through me from miles away. I can keep lying to myself. I can tell him, and whoever else wants to hear it, that Spencer is in my past, and he means nothing to me anymore... but who would I be kidding?

I guess this was evident all along. Maybe that was the reason my family was so worried about me seeing him for the first time in years. They knew it'd hit me hard and make me realize that all the feelings I buried seven years ago are still here, dormant, but just as powerful as before.

Realization hurts like a physical blow.

I still love Spencer. Maybe I'm not in love with him anymore, but it's just a matter of time.

I know it.

And probably everyone else around me knows it too.