Chapter 6 Six

"So, Spencer, what have you been up to? I met your sister at the bookstore the other day, and she said you got some billionaire contracts at the record label recently. Does that mean we officially have a rich friend now?" my cousin Phil asks.

Spencer looks away from me, chuckling and taking a sip of his whiskey. "Nah, I'm not as important as my sister seems to believe I am."

"That's not true, baby," Millie chimes in, and God, have I mentioned I hate her voice? "Record labels have been fighting over him for years now. Everyone wants a piece of him."

I think I'm going to vomit. My head is spinning like a fucking tornado, and my stomach feels really nauseated. I believe I won't be able to keep everything inside for much longer.

"I think I'm done for tonight," I tell Lauren and Poppy in a low voice, but by the way Ryan, Chad, and Spencer dart their gaze at me with worry coating their faces, I assume I didn't speak as low as I intended.

"Is everything okay, Hays?" Ryan asks somberly.

"Are you feeling well?" Chad adds with a frown.

I roll my eyes dramatically, dismissing them. "I'm...fine. I just had too much to drink, and I feel a bit sick. I'll head inside. Nothing to worry about."

I turn to leave, and my heels get stuck on the soft grass beneath me, making me stumble and lean on Lauren for support.

"Oops, sorry, pony." My voice sounds so high-pitched and annoying right now, I must be drunker than I realized.

"Hayden," Chad calls me in a serious tone. "I'll take you inside."

"I'm okay. It was nothing. I don't need help getting to my room. It's not that far."

"You can barely stand upright," he argues. "Judging from the number of glasses you've drained in the last ten minutes, I wouldn't be surprised if you fell headfirst up the stairs."

"Whatever." The word comes out of my mouth in a funny way, and I laugh at myself. "Sorry, guys. If you'll excuse me...it was lovely to see you all. Ryan and Alice, I'm so happy for you. I really am. I love you."

Alice smiles fondly at me, trying to hide her amusement by seeing me drunk while covering her mouth with her hand. Ryan looks at me with a gloomy expression, but I don't care. I didn't do anything to ruin his wedding–like I promised. Getting drunk and being taken to my room isn't exactly making a scene.

"Do you need help?" Lauren and Poppy ask at the same time while Chad wraps his arm around my waist and forces me to stand still. But instead, I feel myself leaning more and more against him, his supportive body serving as a wall to my lazy and sluggish one.

"Nope," I reply, allowing Chad to take me inside. The effect of the alcohol escalated so quickly that I didn't even realize I was this drunk until I notice people watching me being chaperoned to my room by my brother.

The silence inside the house makes me feel a bit less anxious and nauseated, even though I still feel like I might puke at any moment now.

"You might want to swing me a bit less," I warn Chad as he takes me upstairs.

He sighs, shaking his head. "Geez, Hays, why did you have so much to drink?"

"What? It's Ryan's wedding!" I retort. "I am happy for him and was celebrating. Didn't YOU drink?"

"A couple of glasses. Not the whole bottle."

"Well, I might have drank more than that," I point out with a chuckle.

"You're going to feel like shit tomorrow," he notes.

"I kind of already do," I tell him, flashing him a wide, forced smile while he opens the door to my room. I escape from his arms, walking inside and heading toward the bed, stumbling a bit as Chad closes the door behind him.

I toss myself on the mattress, not caring to take off my heels or dress, and too tired to care about my makeup. I can worry about that in the morning.

"Hays," Chad calls to me softly. I feel the mattress shifting as he sits down close to me, but I can't gather the courage to open my eyes and see how he's probably looking at me with his judgmental eyes.

"Don't judge me, brother. I'm already doing that for the both of us," I say before he starts a conversation I know I'm not ready for. "I'm really sorry, you know? I never meant for it to be this way."

Chad is the one person I avoid the most when the topic is Spencer–for obvious reasons, and he knows that. I feel bad because I love him, and we've always gotten along so well, but I can't allow myself to be completely honest with him. I don't want him to resent me for ruining a lifetime friendship.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. And I would never judge you. Why would you even say that?" he asks.

"I know you're worried, but you don't have to be. Your friend seems happy, and so am I. There's nothing to be concerned about. I'm fine."

There's silence in the room, and for a moment, I wonder if he left. But I'm drunk, not deaf, and he certainly isn't so quiet as to leave the room without me hearing the door being closed.

"You don't seem fine, Hays. I know seeing him after so long must suck for you, and I am really sorry that you have to go through this," he states carefully. I knew he was trying to muster the courage to bring up the subject, but this is certainly not the right moment for me.

I force my eyes open, finding Chad looking at me with pain engraved on his face. It makes my heart ache, but what can I do? It's not like I wanted any of this to happen. In fact, if I could go back seven years ago, I might have done things differently. But now, well, it's too late.

"Why is everyone so worried about me, huh? I'm not that weak. I might have been once, but I'm not the same person I was anymore, okay?" I say, anger starting to get the best of me, my voice rising up an octave. "I know I looked pathetic back then, but that's just life." I choke down my tears I didn't even realize were coming. And Chad seems to have noticed that too because he looks slightly surprised.

"Hays, I-"

"It sucked, and I tried to hate your friend for so long... I just couldn't. But I don't need...to be reminded of that every time his name comes up...not by my family, anyway," I carry on, sobbing and choking on my own words, failing to get a hold of myself. I knew that champagne would be my doom. "No one seems to...care about Spencer...because he probably never suffered the...way I did, right?"

Chad doesn't say anything, but rather, pulls me into a tight embrace. His hands caress my hair while he tries to calm me down with soothing shushes. I hate crying. Especially in front of others. Maybe I've been too stressed out and didn't realize my anxiety piling up with everything going on lately and the prospect of seeing Spencer again for the first time in years. Alcohol must have helped me loosen up, but I should have stopped a few glasses ago.

"I am so sorry," he whispers. "I really am."

"It's not your fault," I tell him.

"Still, I wanted to do something to protect you, but I... I didn't know what to do," he confesses. He sounds so hurt, sorrowful even. It makes me feel bad for him. I never blamed him or even thought he had picked a side. I'm not unfair, and I never tried to make him feel bad about his friendship. That's why I never talked to him about this.

"You didn't have to do anything, Chad. You're my brother, and I love you." I pull back from him, feeling more composed now. I wipe my wet cheeks and take a deep breath before continuing. "I'd never forgive myself if you resented me, or if you thought I wanted you to pick a side. I would never do that. I hope you know that."

"Of course, I do." Chad seems to be pondering something for a moment, and I almost think he'll give up, but then he straightens up and stares at me with a hooded gaze. "And don't think you're pathetic because you suffered, Hays. Spencer wasn't in a good spot either, I can tell you that much. I've never seen you two look so wrecked, and it killed me to watch it and not be able to do anything."

It's the first time I've heard him say anything about how Spencer dealt with that moment in our lives. I don't know why it surprises me to know Spencer suffered as much as I did, but it does.

"I know you've been avoiding him, and you have every right to do so, but I think you might have to rethink your methods. I don't want you turning into an alcoholic every time you end up in the same room as him," Chad teases, nudging me in a playful way.

"Why do you say that?" I frown at him, not following it. "I won't become an alcoholic for drinking at my brother's wedding. And after today, I won't have to see Spencer again, so you have nothing to fear."

Chad shifts uncomfortably on my bed, scratching his neck and messing up his hair.

"What?" I press, feeling the nausea coming back.

"Well, Spencer just told us that he'll be staying in town for a while," he replies, the words coming out of his mouth in slow motion.

"Meaning? For a while as in a couple of days?"

This can't be happening.

Chad shakes his head, and I gulp down.

"No. As in for good. He's moving back, Hays."