Chapter 3 Lots of hate, Ashton

"Are you sure you are going to be okay?" Andrew, Ashton's friend asked him for the tenth time in a row, to which Ashton threw the small decorative pillow on the ground angrily, glaring at his both friends.

"For the tenth time, I'm fucking fine Andrew, stop repeating it" Ashton let out an inhuman growl, standing up in anger.

He wasn't fine, he felt dead inside, just like always and it almost felt like a habit to him.

But he wouldn't drag his friends into his darkness, it was reserved only for him. The pain, the love, the regret and the hatred, it was all for him and only him.

"Stop lying. Will you?" Ryan, another friend of Ashton, looked frustrated at this point. Ashton is a wall when it comes to emotions, nothing can penetrate inside, except his own anger.

"I'm not lying" Ashton looked offended, his emotions all over the place.

How can anyone be fine when their parents' death anniversary is coming up? 'Are you okay?' is not even a sensible question at this point. How can he say that to his friends?

"Yeah, you've been holding the locket in your hand for an hour and you never stopped looking at your parents photo frame, so yes, you are not lying" Ryan replied sarcastically, getting up from the comfortable couch he was sitting on.

Ashton immediately left the locket, letting it hang around his neck as he shoved his hands into his pockets, drifting his gaze from the picture to the flower vase beside it.

"It's okay to mourn Ashton" Andrew spoke calmly after a moment.

'Gee, thanks, I don't know that' Ashton thought to himself, trying his best to zone out.

"I'm not mourning." Ashton snapped, throwing daggers at him mentally.

"Yeah, you are dancing to 'paper rings' song aren't you?" Ryan had always been the sarcastic one.

"Ryan" Andrew's voice was sharp, serious, cutting off the sarcasm, shutting the other one up.

"Try reading the room next time before being sarcastic" Andrew punched Ryan's arm lightly, reminding him.

"Ashton, we know you. It's okay if you feel sad and their anniversary is the next sunday" Andrew reminded softly, shifting his attention to Ashton who was just sitting there like a statue.

Ashton's parents death anniversary is in 7 days, something he is dreading this time. It was always this way, he felt like he was losing a part of himself every year.

"Shut up" Ashton yelled, losing his cool. His friends always try to be there for him and hope they could make him feel better, but it never happened in two years.

Ashton knows there is only one person whom he'd hear after his parents and he refuses to give that position to anyone.

Even after thousand texts in two years, there was no reply, yet he never stopped texting, hoping she'd reply one day, but his hopes are turning into ashes every day.

And hate is building up with each moment passing, making it difficult for him to trust her or hope she will come for him.

"Well we are not shutting up, either cry it away or get your anger out. Stop shutting us out, she isn't going to reply to you" Andrew sighed in disappointment, even though he secretly hoped Ashton would get a reply.

The messages Ashton sends were always left on read, resentment piling up with each ignored text. Ryan and Andrew are so scared not knowing how bad Ashton is going to burst if that person comes there, praying she never does.

It'd be a freaking volcano no one could stop.

"Stop right there" Ashton's voice dropped cold, his features tightening with anger. Mentioning her is going to increase the hatred and anger, his heart burning with pain every second that passes after that.

"Sorry" Andrew whispered, it was always a line that they will never cross but he had to, he had seen Ashton still texting her without any reply and turned sour for the rest of the day.

"Leave me alone" Ashton looked at his friends, hoping they'd oblige for once without any fight and to his surprise, they actually left to the guest room without any arguments.

As soon as they left to the guest room, he looked at the hearth, the fireplace in the room beside the main room filled with a few book shelves that his mother loved so much.

He sat on the single sofa chair and fluttered his eyes closed, the night when his parents died started flashing in his head.

----

They were sitting right in the same room, his mom was reading one of her favourite novels sitting on the vintage sofa with Ashton's dad at her feet and massaged them with a smile on his face.

Ashton's favourite songs were playing in the background while the snow was falling outside. It was August and snowing beautifully, the kind of one where a kid would love to take a bite of the snow.

The fire was lit inside the fireplace with the wood crackling with the fire. Ashton was asking his father whether they could meet Venessa and family before his school starts.

With hot chocolate in his hands, he chatted away his father's ears and just when he was about to fall asleep out of tiredness, the loud bang of their door made him flinch and the pleasant night he had wasn't pleasant anymore.

The calmness in his parents eyes turned into worry and fear as he was pushed away from them.

----

Ashton gasped, sitting right up. He can't force himself to remember anything after that, the lane would be darker and he can't give in.

His breaths were shaky as his heart thudded loud in his chest, his hands shivering and his forehead sweaty.

The night still greets him in every nightmare he has, which is everyday, and he wakes up in the middle of night, feeling awfully guilty and hatred for himself.

Wiping his sweat, he looked around himself to find no one, not even the maids who are around to clean the mansion until he specifically asks to.

One week, and it will be two years of the horrible night that snatched his parents away from him.

August 18 it is going to be.

He grabbed his old mobile that he used to text her And opened her chat and started typing.

[To Sparkles-

Going to be two years huh? And you never replied at least once. I promise Nessa, this week is the last time I'm going to text you, I won't text you after this anniversary.

Lots of hate, Ashton]

And just like that, it was left on read in a few minutes.