Chapter 8 I feel worthless

It's either now or never for me.

Perhaps, just perhaps, he won't pursue me. Who am I fooling? I practically took on an Alpha Wolf. They are only aware of the hunt-of pursuing and stalking their victim. And to Juda, I am exactly that.

Prey.

I catch him grabbing his stomach as he stumbles to the ground. Everyone halts and looks intently at him. He recoils and roars as his head drops back. His teeth finish with canines that are razor-sharp. His eyes grew dreadfully dark, almost black. His skin was tingling from the fur.

It's taking place.

He shifted.

The courtyard erupts in cheers. Jessica steps forward in the hopes that he will claim her first, before everyone else.

The Alpha shouts "move out of my way" as he sprints over to Juda.

My moment to run is now.

Juda is now nearly entirely shifted when I turn back to face him. The ties can be sealed in a matter of seconds. Those brief moments will be all that separate me from him.

It's now or never, so I begin to walk towards the woods. This is not the place to shift. No one is going to assist me; if anything, they'll try to kill my wolf.

Just to be sure, one last short chance.

I erred, and it cost me everything.

In human form, standing where Juda had just been, he is now an enormous black wolf that growls loudly.

mate growls.

Judas the wolf has a mate.

His wolf appears to be staring directly at Jessica as she screams. I can't help but feel that he is looking right through her and into my own soul. My body is once again covered in that prickling sensation, and chill bumps race up my arms.

I am immobile.

I'm having trouble breathing.

When the giant wolf is preparing to hunt his mate, he will growl, followed by a howl.

He advances towards Jessica.

The wolf growls at her as she extends her hand to touch him. She puts her hand back down after jerking back in confusion. The current Alpha furrows his brow as he observes this performance. Judas Wolf is now passing her and has his eyes firmly fixed on me this time.

God, kindly say no.

Everyone looks in that direction to see what our future leader is seeing. When she sees me, Jessica turns around, and her eyes grow dimmer. Her face is covered in jealousy. She is aware of what that signifies. What this signifies is widely understood. Juda, my mate and the future Alpha, is preparing to murder me.

Running is the only logical response I can think of when under pressure.

I move quickly when I run.

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I'm being led to the location by the light of the full moon.

I had a secret location in mind for my initial shift.

If I even have a wolf, that is. She probably left me because, as everyone says, I'm such a pitiful person.

I'm terrified that the years of abuse have pushed her to flee, or worse, to pass away.

I hear a loud howl coming from behind me just as I am about to close in on the target.

Juda.

He is after me.

He vowed at school that if he discovered me outdoors tonight, he would cause me anguish that was worse than death. Now that his wolf believes I am his mate, I'm certain it will result in death. Juda won't ever consent to his wolf being with me. Breaking the bond or killing me are the only options for resolving that. Knowing him, he will pick the second option.

Please allow me to change quickly, Moon Goddess; I must move quickly. I need my wolf's assistance. I must possess courage.

I'm so afraid.

I have to stop running after experiencing sudden abdominal discomfort, so I grab hold of the nearest tree for support.

Work shift

When I let go of the tree, I was suddenly overcome by darkness.

Good day, Octavia. Atia here. I'm overjoyed that we are finally together.

"Atia?" With tears in my eyes, I say

"Yes, I'm here with you at last. You're not alone any longer. Please try not to be afraid. I'm here to keep you safe. I'll never abandon you, she retorted.

"It's time for us to seal our bond; listen to me closely, and we will get through this together."

My anxiety caused my heart to beat rapidly.

Do they hurt?" I enquired.

"Only the initial few times, when your body gets used to it, It will improve. But in human form, you're so little and frail. It can take more time to acclimatise. I am with you right now. We'll become stronger, she assured us.

"Now, Octavia, you need to finish this right away. I feel another wolf coming, and until we make our bond, I can't aid you.

I lowered my breathing, nodded, and awaited her directions.

Just go on your hands and knees and calm your thoughts. Consider the perception you have of me. Your body will then transform into that.

I followed her instructions, and as soon as I heard a bone pop, I screamed out of control.

What seemed like hours was actually only a few minutes. I then caught sight of two stunning dark brown paws.

"I finished, Atia. We succeeded. Oh my goodness, I must see how we appear. I exulted, "I know we are gorgeous.

I had turned into a wolf.

going to become stronger at last.

I was finally not by myself. I had someone by my side at all times.

The one thing I've longed for and needed so badly

Family.

A twig broke behind me, jolting me back to consciousness. I looked back and noticed a huge black wolf snarling in the distance.

I was suddenly overcome by the most amazing perfume.

What is that smell again?

It reminds me of strawberries and new flowers. Such tasty. I'm about to drool.

"Shift"

I'm standing there, puzzled and dazed. My mind is clouded by the blending smells. My thinking is confused.

The wolf yelled "SHIFT MUTT" once more, this time using the alpha command.

My body abruptly transforms back into a human, and I find myself standing here in front of a large black wolf, completely naked.

front of Juda.

He briefly glances around, and I notice that he is also shifting back. I took advantage of the situation to put on the clothes I had hidden earlier today. He again met my eyes as he stood up in all his nude magnificence. In our culture, it's common to be naked around wolves, but in my case, it only causes shame and terror. I should never have to show off my horrible body.

"I thought I told you not to come out tonight," he replied.

Juda, I'm sorry, but I had no option. Tonight I was going to work," I said.

Do you think I'm concerned? I forewarned you of the consequences if you did. He growls, appearing to be about to rip out my throat or bite me in the face. "Now you'll regret it."

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**SMACK

This time, he hit me so hard that I tasted blood. Juda frequently vents his annoyances on me, but this time it seems different. He seems genuinely enraged at me. I mean, I just smashed his favourite sparkly toy.

"You are such a waste. I find it incomprehensible that the Moon Goddess would pair me with someone like you. You filthy scum."

I am immobile. His statements have me in disbelief.

Even though I anticipated it and knew he would reject me, it still hurts.

Before Juda struck me once more, I overheard Atia say, "Yes, this unworthy wolf is our mate."

"Are you even paying attention, bitch? As he grabs my arm and starts dragging me towards the pack home, he spits out, "You will die by my hand before you ever become this pack, Luna.

I tremble as I say, "Juda".

Nothing.

Please let me go, Juda. I swear not to tell anyone. Simply reject me. I was about to say, "I'll leave and never look back," when he abruptly paused.

He turns to face me now. The air grew chilly as his face grew darker. This gaze would have made me afraid if I hadn't already.

Repudiate you? You believe I'll let you go so easily. No, you dummy mutt. You won't ever get off so lightly. Everyone is already aware of it because they witnessed it before you made your pitiful attempt to hide from me. elude me? Do you believe you can run? I'll go to great lengths to find you. You won't ever go back down there. You will reside there for the remainder of your pitiful, unhappy life. Jessica, when I get my real Luna, you'll suffer every time I fuck her. When I mark her, you will suffer. And when she gives birth to my puppies and future heirs, you will experience the pain.

My eyes started to tear up.

I was unable to think clearly.

What's going on with me and why?

We've been told our entire lives that the Moon Goddess connects us with the other half of our soul. The ideal companion to finish us Even the gods themselves would envy such unconditional love.

I am, nevertheless, a monster by destiny.

I will never be loved by a man. Who has been my lifelong tormentor and who will one day murder me?

Why me.

What did I do to deserve this?

His plan is to parade Jessica around while I am his whore, a dirty little secret hidden in the basement.

I won't allow this monster to do it; I'll die first.

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Today, the wetness in the basement seems heavier.

Juda imprisoned me here for a week before I was released.

When he emerged from the woods, he went to Jessica and introduced her as his mate. Nobody raised a query. People were perplexed about the situation involving me. Jessica didn't mind that she wasn't the intended partner, as long as she ended up with the job.

He will mark her in front of the pack during their ritual in three days, at which point everyone will begin using a new Alpha mind link. Our new Alpha will officially transition to him.

Since I've never participated in the mind-linking sessions, I'm not sure exactly what is said.

Atia uttered the word "Octavia" to me.

Hmm..

"We are leaving this location. But you need to strengthen yourself. You must have faith in me. I'm not sure how long I can keep you safe if we stay here for a while.

I'll give Atia a go, but I'm so useless. It is probably best to simply leave me alone as well. You deserve to be a better human because you are so lovely and strong. I apologise for my failure.

"Octavia, please refrain from making such statements again. You are capable of things that you are unaware of. Just believe in me, and soon. You'll observe. Everything that occurs just serves to make you stronger. You must not let it destroy you. We must struggle together.

Together, I believed.

What a lovely word.

I'll make every effort to help Atia.

I'll fight back.

BANG

The entrance burst open. A man's figure was surrounded by a menacing cloud in the distance. I instantly recognised the person as the piercing emerald eyes met mine.

Juda.

"Good day, Mutt. How are you tonight, my dear friend? He mocked, "Keeping warm." Knowing that the first snow will likely fall at any moment and that only the smallest remnants of blankets covered my legs.

Be tenacious for Atia.

Be tenacious for Atia.

I kept repeating the mantra in my brain.

Juda lowered down to take me up, and I immediately felt sparks fly over my body.

Then he dragged me inside and inhaled my neck's aroma. His finger drew a line where my friend's mark would be placed. As his fingers gently stroked it, I shivered.

He smiled.

Even a powerful Alpha like me can't withstand the attraction of the mate bond. My wolf goes mad just being apart from you. You must feel him. To take in you," he said.

I shuddered. Even though part of me responded to the mate bond and its consequences, I found him to be repulsive. This felt off in every way.

I abhor him.

Most of all, I detest myself. The Moon Goddess offends me.

Alpha Juda was back in charge in a flash of a switch.

He gave my cheek a smack.

He then leans in closer to smell me again. When his wolf appears content, he turns and departs.

I feel worthless and repulsive once more.

Why is this life I have?