Chapter 5 Make the darkness disappear

I got up early the following morning to start my usual regimen. I overheard Beta and Gamma talking loudly to someone as I passed the kitchen. I crept up a bit closer because I was having trouble identifying who it was. My heart sank when I saw Mrs. Ollie through a little doorway crack.

She had a crying-like appearance. Her mouth was covered in blood, and her face was bloated.

The Beta shouted, "TELL THE TRUTH; DID YOU HELP THAT DISGRACE, THAT MUTT?"

While the Beta repeatedly smacked Mrs. Ollie's face, the Gamma restrained her arms behind her back.

The tears streamed out of my eyes like a big cloud that was too full to hold any more, and I was powerless to stop them.

I felt impotent as I saw this sweet, innocent woman suffer consequences as a result of my actions.

Why is my life like this?

Why does horrible stuff keep happening? Just when I had a moment of optimism that I might be okay and that I could find a kind person, It vanishes in a split second.

I should not have allowed her to assist me.

She will now endure suffering.

I am helpless.

I have no value.

After a brief moment of self-pity, Beta pulls up a knife and slits her throat.

I yelled, "That was it."

I lost all control of myself. In that scream, everything that had been building up inside of me was released. Anger is trying to gently bubble to the top. For these two wolves, rage is just waiting to be let loose. But as quickly as it sought to escape, the realisation that I am a pitiful, helpless wolf put an end to any chance of retaliation.

The beta's gaze jerked back to the source of the scream and locked onto mine. Blue eyes that pierced my soul were there.

I was unable to move.

I was unable to breathe.

He turned to look at me with a smile on his face.

He laughed, "Enjoy the show, you filthy mutt." I was grinning at my current position of submission.

"It's your fault, this. This is what happens when anyone even contemplates assisting your abhorrent, ugly, pitiful self," he yelled. I could feel his breath on my neck because his face was so close to mine. His eyes grew more menacing, as if a wolf were about to attack me at any moment. I closed my eyes as I anticipated agony.

I'm to blame.

He grabbed my face and made me gaze straight forward, which made me wince. As I witnessed Mrs. Ollie's final moments, tears began to gather in my eyes. She gave me a little smile and mouthed the words "it's okay" as her bright eyes slowly closed and vanished.

He let go of my face, and I fell to the ground. unable to control their tears, they plead for this to be a nightmare.

I despise myself.

He gently lifted me up while saying, "Don't ever think about doing something like this again, mutt," just to slap my face and knock me back down.

He laughed and left the room, leaving me alone with the charred remains of the once-kind woman. "It will never end well for them or for you," he said.

Why am I cursed, fuck?

What did I do to earn this kind of life?

Trauma has a tendency to become permanently ingrained in your memory, with the memories haunting you constantly when you are awake. Always clinging to your innermost self and haunting the recesses of your spirit. You'll be troubled forever and ever. Like a thick curtain blocking out even the smallest ray of brightness, people follow you.

Depression consumes any remaining hope you may have. reminding you of your true worthlessness. Small voices in your ear tell you how pitiful you are and how you'll never emerge from the shadows. Never again will there be light.

Just let the anguish end, please.

Make the darkness disappear, goddess.

For as long as I live, I will never forget the sight of Mrs. Ollie dying.

I'm really sorry, Mrs. Ollie; kindly pardon me.