Chapter 3 Acceptance

"Hallow, Hallow my little princess", I heard Mama's voice calling out to me. "Mama" I responded, "is that you Mama?" I saw her, my ever-beautiful mother, with her eyes shining like the midnight star, her hair silk just like expensive leather, her petite figure standing firm in an immaculate white dress. Oh! She looks so beautiful. Flashing her pearl amazing dentition to me, she said " I will miss you, my dear Hallow. I'd watch out for you in every way. Whenever you see a butterfly, I'm always with you my precious one". Confused I asked, "Why are you saying this Mama, I'm coming with you". She blinked her eyes twice as she always did to refuse my proposal, and blew a kiss across to me. I felt her scent hit me and with that, I jerked up from my long slumber. " Mama" I yelled, "Mama where are you" I screamed and that's all Aunt Trish and the nurses needed to come rushing into my room.

There and then, I recollected all my eyes had seen earlier. Filmy memories run through my mind, pictures I do not want to remember appearing so vivid, graphic images I would love to wipe out of my mind find its place to stay, and feel nothing but comfort. Looking up at Aunt Trish, with my eyes so teary and hers so pitiful, she came up to me, handing over the warmest hug I could ever ask for. "Hush my gal," she said. "Do not cry no more. I'm here for ya, I'm here for ya" She repeated those words like it was a form of affirmation, she wanted me to believe her, needed me to trust her. On the other hand, I kept on nodding, trying to find a way to believe that she was. " Could anyone treat me with so much love as Mama?" I thought to myself. One day at a time, all I could find out about this tragic happening would be unveiled one day at a specific time.

I underwent various scans and tests to ensure I wasn't going into shock as I did earlier. The doctor who attended to me gave me his condolence and advised me to take life easy and not overburden myself with thoughts of what had happened. He offered me medications at a discounted price and surprisingly when I asked about how the bills would be cleared because I have no parents to oversee my healthcare bills. The doctor answered, "Don't worry about that Hallow, your aunt over there has seen to it ". With teary eyes, I turned to Aunt Trish and saw her taking out my belongings from the room. When she was out, Hallow ran out to meet Aunt Trish and give her a hug, mouthing "Thank you so much, Aunty". Aunty Trish hushed her and said, "No dear gal, never thank me, ya know I'm ya guardian now. It is my duty, all my duty my little gal". I felt warm-hearted ever since the incident of the previous day, the day I last saw my Mama and felt my Papa's little pat on my head.

Walking back into the same neighborhood, the neighborhood I grew up in, the neighborhood I ran around as a child and hid away from Mama's punishments when I'd stay out late. The same community has held a lot of parties and Mama attended each one. Papa not so much because he was never home. But Mama partook in each planning, each festival and we attended each one hand in hand. Walking down the street, Aunt Trish placed her hand on my shoulder, breaking me out of my thoughts once again. Ever since I witnessed the death of my parents, my mind has often been distracted, taken away from reality, far and far beyond. I had always wanted to know how it felt to escape reality, but not in this way.

Aunt Trish and I got to her door, she searched her bag for the keys and made a little mess. As she searched for them, I looked around, watching people pass by, and the ones who sat, across the road. I watched how their eyes wandered and how they stared at me. Some looked at me with pity, others couldn't even hide their fear, I heard some whisper "If Mr. Ivanov and his wife were killed, how much are we safe here".

Within I knew what they meant by that statement. My father was scared by many, he spoke less and was seen by a few. This made him feared by many. If one is scared that half of the neighborhood was killed, not just him but his wife, how much more could they feel safe? I heard Aunt Trish call out my name, and I answered "Yes Aunty, be right there". I walked into her apartment, and the scent smelled different, the décor felt different, and I felt out of place. Like mice placed in a tropical forest, prone to a lot of prey. Aunt Trish must have noticed how I felt, she looked closely at me and watched how I took in each and everything happening. Her voice broke out once again and said " You don't need to do so much my gal, feel at peace here, do not be tensed, this is your new home now baby, I'd appreciate it if you accepted it and acted like it is". She spoke all of this within one breath and all I could do was nod in response.

She led me to my now new room and said "Hei Hallow, you are going to settle down here, ya new room ya know. It belonged to my son until he moved out, now it's yours " "I had a son and now I have a daughter". She said it with so much joy, I could see her eyes sparkle with little tears and watched how she said a silent prayer over me. It's said that Aunt Trish is quite a religious lady, right here in her home, I could see and confirm that indeed she's a religious woman. I responded "Thank you, Aunty" as that's all I could say to her. She has been a constant lady in my life, I grew up eating sweets at her stall, and my mum dropped me off at her stall whenever she was out. Aunt Trish has always been there for Mama and me when Mama was alive. Now Mama is gone, and she's still here for us, I know Mama would be glad she found solace in her choosing Aunt Trish as her sister down the road. " Freshen up sweetie, have some rest. I would go right down and whip up some quick dinner," Aunt Trish said. I molded and sat down on the bed watching her leave.