Chapter 5 JEROME

Stacy was walking towards Elena's house. I knew this because I saw her leave her house in anger. And I knew this because I had continued to stare out the window at every chance I got. Stacy didn't even glance back for a second as she matched forward, each step filled with purpose. I was glad that she was coming here, don't ask me why. I also didn't want her to change her mind so I went to get the door before she even knocked. Elena was telling me about how she wanted to get a pet but couldn't choose between a dog and a cat.

She has just cleared our plates and her voice traveled from the kitchen to the living room. "They're not as independent as cats. But they are extra loving. They need love." "Cats are loving in their own way," I was saying as I turned the knob and pulled. As soon as I opened the door, Elena appeared at the doorway. "Are you trying to run away?" When she saw Stacy, she settled for a small expression. "Oh." "Can I come in?" Stacy asked. She drew her lips into a thin line, trying to smile and appear happier. "As soon as you answer this, dog or cat?" "None, truthfully." "None?" I asked in disbelief. I expected her to choose a dog. I wasn't expecting that she would pick nothing. "Stacy, you have to pick one," Elena added. Stacy battled with her choices only to make an answer from scratch. "A fish?" Elena gave up with a sigh. She waved her hands, "you can come in but if your mom comes here to make a fuss, I'll be sending you back outside." "She won't. She's too busy to care that I'm here." I locked the door. Elena returned to the kitchen and Stacy stood in the foyer awkwardly. "I've never been in here before," she explained, whispering so only I would hear her. "And I don't know how to react after finding out about her kid." "She doesn't like to talk about it." Elena would only mention Marilyn when there was a need to. I had just been in her house for almost an hour and we've moved between pets to my work and back to pets. Stacy walked in. "What was she like?" "Daring, adventurous. Funny too." Just thinking about her made me happy. "You wanna see her?" Stacy's eyes widened. "She keeps her body here?" I had to laugh at how she misunderstood my words. It was dark and funny. Even if people kept their dead kids at their house, Elena wouldn't be among them. "No!" I shut down Stacy's wild ideas. "I meant in a picture." "Oh. Maybe. She keeps her pictures? I wouldn't be able to do that." "Why?" I asked Stacy as I led her to the wall where the family pictures were framed and set up. "Because it would hurt too much." "It hurts, yeah but it's worse when you find yourself struggling to remember. I keep a picture of her too so I understand Elena." I stopped talking when I saw Marilyn. Stacy didn't say anything too. She was silent as her eyes moved over the wall, taking each piece of picture one at a time. Some were of Elena, some were of Marilyn and the rest had both of them in it. They'd been best friends. Elena was all Marilyn knew since her dad died when she was young. They made the best team and made each other happy until I came along. I can't regret meeting Marilyn but I also can't help but wish I never entered her life. If she didn't know me, then she would still be here. We wouldn't have gone on that evening ride, we wouldn't have stopped by the mountains to drink beer, and I wouldn't have let her drive. Stacy was drawn to a particular picture. She took two steps forward and traced her fingers over Marilyn's small curls. Marilyn had her skating boots in one hand and a helmet in the other. I took that picture and I remembered it like it was yesterday. She had been so happy to go skating and her eyes were gleaming with pride. Marilyn was always full of life until she wasn't. "She seems cool." "She was cool," I replied Stacy. Stacy sighed as she turned around. "I'm really sorry." "You don't have to be." "So," Stacy let out, about to change what we were talking about. "What do you do?" "That's a big question." I followed her to the dinning where we both sat. "So?" Her ears perked up. "I'm into a lot of things but mainly, scriptwriting and I teach in college too." "You teach? What college?" "You are going to be impressed." Stacy sneered. "You don't impress me." "California State University" She was impressed. Her mouth literally dropped on the table. "You were saying something..." I said with pride, shoulders held up with ego. Stacy rolled her eyes. She leaned back and a little admiration leaked on her features. "It's a little cool but only a little. Now I see why Lisa wants to go there." "Where are you going?" "I'm not sure yet." "Where did you send applications to?" "Central State and..." she hesitated. "And California State University but I only put that because Stacy said it was a better choice for my course of choice." "And what's your course of choice?" I was interested in knowing about her. It felt good to know about her without going to Lisa. It was almost like we could have a relationship outside of what she had with Lisa. This way, Stacy wasn't just being my kid sister's friend, she was also being my friend. "Media communication." I let my chest heave with a sigh. "Heaven knows I was expecting to hear psychology." "Because that's Lisa's choice? I have a choice of my own and a life of my own." She was offended and she got up. I was quick to mirror her actions. "You don't have to be mad. I wasn't trying to get you mad." "Oh really? Because it seems all the Jerome in the world have a thing in common. My dad gets me mad, I come here to cool off and you dish your own crap to me." "Yo. Calm down, Stace-" I tried to hold her. She tore her self from me. Pain shot through my elbow down to my fingertips. "Don't call me Stace!" Her eyes were buring with anger but they softened as soon as I gripped my elbow in pain. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" I couldn't let her see the wound. "I'm okay," I said, moving away. She didn't let me go that easily. "You're not okay. Let me see." "It's not a big deal." "Let me see," Stacy commanded, then added a soft plea. "Please." I should have still kept away but I lost the strength to fight her. If she pleaded with me for anything, I would give it to her in a heart beat. She rolled up my sleeves carefully. I couldn't stop looking over my shoulder. Elena couldn't see this, she couldn't see me in this state. I would not be able to bear her disappointment. Stacy let out a gasp when she saw the tear. It ran from my elbow, stopping an inch from my wrist. The Red and purple skin mapped the surface that used to be my warm skintone. It occupied a good portion and it was a miracle that no one had seen it. Wearing fabric over it sucked cause it would cling to the wound but I had no other choice. "How did you get this?" "I fell." She didn't believe me. "This looks like a tear, like you skied your hand on concrete. How did you..." "It was an accident. My motorcycle swerved off the road." The disappointment settled on Stacy like a dark cloud. One that judged me fiercely. "You're the last person I expect to be taking an accident lightly." I wasn't taking it lightly, I just pretended it didn't exist. Marilyn was in one accident and she died. I've managed to involve myself in about three and all I was getting were scars. Marilyn should have gotten the scars instead. "You can't tell anyone," I said. I wasn't trying to kill myself, I was just trying to hand me the punishment I deserved. If anyone at home found out, they were going to look at me like I needed help. I didn't need help. I needed to be punished. I needed karma to play its course. Elena chose that moment to finally return from the kitchen. "Tell anyone what?" In a flash, I pulled the sleeve down to my elbows not minding the pain I felt. "Uhm...i was advicing Stacy to go to college at California State university." I also lied in a flash. I couldn't tell what Stacy was thinking because I couldn't see her face. We stood side by side as Elena tried to decide if we were lying. She was skeptical for a moment. "Why would you advice her to go to college at California State Uni?" Elena's question felt like an interrogation, because it was. My answer had to be smart. Stacy was going to hate me for this but I said it anyway. "Shitty life over here," I pointed toward the door. "Going to California would keep her away from the toxicity and she wants to study communication media. She's going to be taking a handful of writing classes which I will be glad to help her with. Plus," I faced Stacy for this part, "she could be with her best friend." Elena looked between the both of us. "Remind me how you too know each other?" "My best friend is his sister," Stacy answered this time. If she was talking, it meant she didn't mind my lie. Or she was letting me have this one so she could kick me in the groin when we were alone. Whatever it was, I was ready to take it. Anything over Elena finding out about my accident. Elena had just spent the last thirty minutes telling me of how she was proud of what I was doing with my life. She thought I was honoring her daughter's death by making something of myself. She had to keep thinking that way. My mistakes didn't have to bother her anymore. "Oh." Elena let out. She pointed between the both of us. "I think it's a good plan, Stacy. You get to study in a prestigious Uni, away from this crap city and have a smart tutor by your side. You should consider it." "Yeah," Stacy said in a heartbeat. "I will." Though we were lying, I really hoped she meant this part.