Chapter 9 The Inner Turmoil

Days passed and Emma was at a loss to keep a distance with Ryan. She had told him what she wanted and what she didn't want, but she still couldn't shake the sense that he wanted more from her.

Emma was vibrantly, viciously conflicted. It was a difficult time, as she was torn between doing her job as a therapist and wanting to be with Ryan more. She knew she couldn't act on those feelings, but she couldn't stop feeling that way.

One day while sitting in her office and staring at her notes, Emma received a call on her phone. It was Dr. Lee, a colleague and friend of hers.

"Hey, Emma, how's it going?" Dr. Lee said, her voice warm and friendly.

Are you okay, Emma?" Emma sighed, relieved to have someone to confide in. "It's going fine, I guess," she said. "I'm just really struggling with Ryan. Suddenly I'm getting too close to him and I don't know how to be professional.

Dr. Lee listened quietly, her brow furrowed. "Emma, you're a good therapist, and you work a professional boundary," she said. "But sometimes it's difficult to separate personal feelings from professional duties. Perhaps you should take a break and reassess how you feel about Ryan."

Emma nodded, her heart set on it. "You're right," she said. "I have to take some time and see what's going on with me. Thank you for your attention, Dr. Lee."

Dr. Lee smiled, her eyes radiating understanding. "Anytime, Emma," she said. "Because that's what friends are for."

Emma felt relieved as she ended the phone call. With a long way ahead of her, she was determined to navigate her feelings for Ryan while keeping a professional distance.

Emma spent the rest of the week deliberately avoiding Ryan. She kept her relationship with him more formal in their sessions, and avoided discussing matters in her own life.

Emma tried her best to move on but she always felt that Ryan was still into her. She noticed him watching her during their sessions, and she felt a tension between them that she couldn't help but notice.

Then one day, sitting in her office, Ryan turned to her and said, "Emma, can I ask you something?"

Emma's heart skipped a beat. She knew she had to be careful, to keep a professional distance. "What is it, Ryan?" she said, attempting to sound neutral.

Ryan hesitated and seemed uncertain. "I was hoping you would go out with me some time," he said. "Perhaps we could get dinner or see a movie?"

Emotions surged through Emma.mx. Ryan stirred something in her that she had not felt in a long time. She understood that she could not respond to those feelings, but that could not prevent her from having them.

"Ryan, I don't think that's a good idea," she said at last, doing her best to sound firm. "Look, I'm your therapist, and I have to keep that boundary with you."

Ryan looked disappointed, but he nodded in understanding. "I understand," he said. "I just thought I'd ask."

Toward the end of the session, Emma released a sigh of relief. She had kept her professional boundary, and she had been explicit with Ryan about her expectations.

Yet as she saw Ryan walk out her door, she had the sense something was rotten. She liked Ryan, and it was something she had to figure out how to resolve.

Emma spent sleepless nights crying and thinking about her future. She had been clear with him about her expectations, but always sensed that he still had a thing for her.

One day while they were sitting in her office, Ryan said to her, "Emma, can I ask you something?"

Emma's heart skipped a beat. She knew enough to know not to get involved, to keep things professional. "What is it, Ryan?" she said, attempting to sound neutral.

Ryan hesitated, looking uncertain of himself. "I was wondering if you'd want to meet me for coffee outside of our sessions," he said. "I swear it's not a date or something. I just really like chatting with you, and I think we could have a really good conversation out of the office."

A wave of temptation washed over Emma. She hadn't wanted to spend any more time with Ryan outside of their sessions, but in another part of her, she was curious." She reassured herself that it was nothing more than innocent coffee, but deep down, she knew she was crossing a line.

"I don't know, Ryan," she finally replied, sounding uncertain. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

Ryan appeared disappointed, but nodded in understanding. "I understand," he said. "I just thought I'd ask."

When the session ended, Emma exhaled in relief. She had been tempted, but she had kept it professional.

But as Emma watched Ryan walk out of her office, she had a sense of trouble ahead. She did have feelings for Ryan, and she realized she needed to figure out how to navigate them.

And that night, Emma lay up, thinking of Ryan. The way that she cared about him was something that she had not anticipated, and she wondered if being with him would be the strangest feeling, or what?

Wrapped in the warmth of the blanket, it swept through Emma like remorse. She was a therapist, and she wasn't supposed to have feelings for her patients. She realized that she had to learn how to process her emotions, but had no idea how to go about it.

The following day Emma sought the advice of Dr. Lee again. She sau hoping Dr. Lee could give her a good recommendation source of help.

Emma opened her heart as she sat in Dr. Lee's office. She explained her crush on Ryan to Dr. Lee, and she revealed that she had asked him to meet her for coffee.

Dr. Lee nodded, her face contemplative. "Emma, you're in a bind," she said. "But I think I can help you. "Why don't we set up a supervision session and go through this together?"

Emma nodded, a wave of relief washing over her. She realized that she needed help, and she was thankful for Dr. Lee's support.

Emma walked out of Dr. Lee's office with an inkling of hope. She still had so much to work through, but she was determined to figure out how she felt about Ryan.