Chapter 7 Love and Romance

Emma had been a psychologist for more than a decade, and during that time she had had her fair share of patients. But Ryan was different in a way that mattered. Perhaps it was his disarming smile or his penetrating blue eyes. She had no idea what it was, but for some reason Emma did feel like she was attracted to him in an unprofessional way.

Emma listened to Ryan talk about his struggles with anxiety as she sat in her office, but the more he went on the more uncomfortable she became. She felt that she ought to be objective, to preserve her distance from the problems of her patients. But she felt a spark of attraction when she imagined Ryan.

The sensation set Emma on edge, but she dismissed it, calling herself ridiculous. But she was a professional, after all. Her work should come first over her personal feelings.

It was kind of brilliant speech Emma felt but at the same time as the session wrapped up Emma wasn't able to shake off this feeling that she might have crossed the line in some way or needlessly brought the whole method down. She had always considered herself a consummate professional but now she was beginning to wonder whether she could stick to that if faced with Ryan.

Emma visited Ryan regularly over the next few weeks. She read more about his past, about the struggles he had faced and the demons he was still fighting.

Listening to Matthew speak, Emma felt increasingly attracted to him. She admired his strength and resilience, and felt compelled to help him in any way possible.

But as Emma explored Ryan's backstory, she started to understand that there were aspects of Ryan that were still undiscovered. Things he had left buried, even from her.

Then one day while sitting in her office, Ryan brought up an old friend. And NOT Alex, a friend who had become a longstanding presence in his life through an especially dark period.

Emma's ears perked up at the mention of Alex's name. There was something about the way Ryan said it that hinted at something deeper than he was saying.

"Who's Alex?" Emma said, attempting to sound nonchalant.

Ryan faltered, seeming ill at ease. "Just a friend I knew a long time ago," he finally said. "An acquaintance who I used to hang out with."

Emma raised an eyebrow, suspecting that there was more to the story. But Ryan didn't add to that, and Emma didn't press.

Weeks turned into weeks, and Emma thought more and more about Alex. Who this person had been, and how they related to Ryan?

Emma decided to do some digging one day while sitting in her office. She took out her phone and shoved Alex's name into a quick search.

What she found shocked her. Alex was a man with a troubled past, the son of a war hero turned mercenary lost in shady deals.

The implications made Emma's mind race. How had Ryan's relationship with Alex progressed? And was Alex still involved in Ryan's life?

That was the first thing Emma thought when she read what she have read since she sat in her office and ugly try to process clever things she knew.

A few days later Emma was out running errands when she spotted Ryan walking down the street. He was with a woman, a woman Emma had never seen before.

Emma watched as Ryan and the woman entered a coffee shop a block away. Emma paused for only a moment, wondering if she was to follow them.

Yet when her curiosity overcame her, she found herself striding into the coffee shop, searching for Ryan and the see-through woman.

Emma scanned the room, and saw Ryan with the woman seated at a corner, both laughing and talking.

When Emma looked up and realized it was Ryan's girlfriend, her heart sank. She had felt a twinge of jealousy, which she promptly repressed aside.

Watching Ryan with his girlfriend made Emma feel jangled. The dynamic between Ryan and his girl was smack in her face, and she could hear her mind screaming.

Emma stood Outside the door feeling like an external and knowing she had crossed a line. Her personal feelings had interfered with her work, and now her comeuppance was due.

Emma paused and turned to walk away. This is the proper setting for a sentence that gets many of the facts right, but fails to grasp the meaning.

Emma wondered about what was to come as she exited the coffee shop. Could she keep it business with Ryan, or would she keep letting her feelings get in the way.

Emma went back to her office with conflicting feelings. She was very conflicted about her feelings toward Ryan, especially knowing he was seeing someone else.

Emma sat at her desk, trying to make sense of her thoughts when an unfamiliar knock on the door surprisingly distracted her.

"Hey, Emma, how's it going?" Dr. Lee asked, upon seeing the look of concern on Emma's face.

Emma exhaled, relief flooding through her that she could actually say any of that out loud. "I'm not doing well with a patient," she confessed. "I have feelings for him, and it's interfering with our sessions."

Dr. Lee nodded in sympathy. "That can be difficult," she said. "But you have to remember you are a professional, Emma. Your personal feelings can't interfere with your work."

Emma nodded, understanding that Dr. Lee was right. "I know," she said. "It's just hard when you take a liking to someone."

Dr. Lee smiled. "I know it is," she said. But you have to keep a business relationship, Emma. "And certainly for the good of your patient."

Emma nodded, resolute. She realized that she had to rein in her feelings, bring it back to professional with Ryan.

Emma was due back with Ryan the next day. She was nervous about meeting him again, but she had to make sure to hold a professional stance.

When Ryan came into her office, Emma welcomed him with measured professionalism. She was going to keep her emotions in check, and concentrate on the session.

Ryan must've sensed the shift in Emma's demeanor, for his eyes practically bored right through her. "Is everything okay, Emma?" he asked.

Emma nodded, a professional smile on her face. "Yes, fine, everything is fine," she said. SHALL WE GET STARTED?

Ryan nodded, and they launched into a discussion of his progress. Emma was firm that the session had to be about what Ryan was going through and there would be no talk about herself.

At the end of the session, Emma breathed a sigh of relief. She had kept it professional, and it had been a productive session.

But as Ryan got up to leave, he turned to her with an inquisitive expression. "Emma, may I ask you something?" he said.

Nodding her head it felt a little trepidatious. "What is it, Ryan?" she asked.

Ryan hesitated, seeming unsure of himself. "I don't know if I'm paranoid, but I feel like something's changed," he said. "You feel different, in a way."

"I wonder if Ryan felt it," Emma thought panic stricken. But she quickly composed herself, putting on a professional smile.

"You are just being paranoid Ryan," she said. "I'm the same person I always was. Just think about your own progress, okay?"

Ryan nodded, but did not sound convinced. But Emma felt he wasn't completely sold.