Chapter 2 The deal

John smiled wryly. "Don't sound so shocked, I've wanted you since the first moment i saw you today, not to mention for years while growing up."

Joy blushed furiously, shocked, yet secretly elated to discover that the feelings which had so blindsided her today had been returned for so long.

"But don't start thinking that I'm doing this just because of that, because I'm not." Even as the denial left his mouth, John suspected he was morally skating on thin ice here. If what he was saying was strictly true, then why no just do what she suggested, go to this clinic and give them a sperm sample?

The truth was he did want to have sex with her. At the same time, he did also believe that normal intercourse was the best chance Joy had for falling pregnant. Clearly, coldly clinical method hasn't worked. She needed to relax, to enjoy herself.

John decided to be bluntly honest with her. "Not that I won't enjoy having sex with you," he admitted . "But that's not the only reason I'm suggesting we actually sleep with each other. It's because i think you're more likely to fall pregnant that way. Which is what you want, isn't it? To have a baby?"

John's saying the word "baby" dragged Joy back to the present. She'd been off in another world ever since he'd confessed to wanting to have sex with her since they were teenagers. "What? Oh yes, yes, , that's what I want," she said. "A baby."

"So what do you say, Joy?"

"I don't know what......." The idea of actually sleeping with John made her head spin.

He sighed. "What don't you know?"

"Look, I can understand that my suggestion has come as a bit of a shock to you, so why don't we go somewhere for coffee and talk about it rationally?

"I dont think I'm capable of being rational about this. You've totally blown me away. I have to think about this on my own."

John nodded. He wanted her to say yes with a depth of desire which shocked him; something in him was demanding that he and only him should give Joy the baby she so desperately wanted. How ever, much as he hated it, she needed time.

"I'll take you home."

Joy sighed. The idea of going home and facing her mother while she was trying to decide something so huge didn't appeal either.

"How about we drive to Erina Fair and see a movie ? You can pick something you'll like, some macho action flicks with lots of car chases and killings. You can get all involved in that whilst i sit in the dark and think.

He laughed, " You are such a sexist Joy. I happen to like a wide range of movies, not just macho action flicks as you put it."

"Oh sure," she said in droll tones.

"I'll prove it to you."

He surprised her by choosing a romantic comedy, one of those friends into lovers plots which had become popular lately. Joy might have enjoyed it if there hadn't been so many sex scene, all of which were extremely raunchy. Clothes were stripped off at regular intervals as two friends had wildly uninvited sex in every conceivable place and position: on the floor. On the sofa. In a lift. Even in a meadow. The ending annoyed her as well it was pure Hollywood fiction where the protagonist feel in love and lived happily ever after. As if that ever happened.

"Is that what you're afraid of?" John said as they left the theatre. "That if we have sex you might fall in love with me?"

Laughter spluttered from Joy's lips before she could smother it.

"Right," he said drily. "Obviously,?that's not what you're afraid of."

No, she said. Her feats had nothing to do with love. She stopped walking to turn and look up at him with thoughtful eyes."

Suddenly, she couldn't do it.

"No, John," she said, and pulled her arm away from him.

"No what?"

"No, I've decided not to accept your offer. Thank you for making it; it was amazing generous of you. But it's just not going to work for me. Please don't argue with me about this or tell me I'm being irrational. Because if you do I know I'm going to burst into tears again." Which was true. Her emotions, already fragile, were in danger of embarrassing her once more.

She couldn't tell what john was thinking. He face had always been hard to read.

"I see," was all he said. "Well, it's your life, Joy. You do what you think best."

"Thank you," she said, struggling to keep the tears in check. No point in going for coffee then, is there?" He said brusquely. "I'll take you home."

Joy's mother was still up watching television when she let herself into the house. Her mother glanced at the cock on the wall . It was only just after nine.

The same thought kept Joy awake long after she climbed into bed. She tossed and turned, her mind torturing herself with the horrible "what if? " what if she didn't fall pregnant next month? What then? Would she keep on trying or resort to more complicated and expensive procedures live IVF? How long could she keep doing this before she went stank, raving mad?

The man himself was thinking along those same lines as he stood at his bedroom window, staring down at Joy's house as he'd done so many times when he'd been a boy,

Okay, so his offering to be her sperm donor had begun as a gesture of kindness, but it had quickly changed to one driven by his male hormones. He wanted her, naked and wiling in his arms. He made his way downstairs where everything was quiet; his parent had gone to bed some time ago. Switching on the kitchen light, he went to the drawer where his mother kept an assortment of Biros, writhing pad, and different size of envelopes. Selecting what he wanted, he returned to his room, switched on his bedroom lamp and sat down to right. It took him several attempts before he got the wording just right but eventually he was satisfied.

Dear Joy.

By the time you read this I will have left. Not Australia l, as my family believes. I have an apartment in Darwin where I go every winter for a weeks rest and recreation. This time, how ever, i intend to stay longer, though please keep this information confidential. Joy, I presume you are determined to keep trying for a baby by your anonymous donor. And that's your right. But if it's not successful, I wish you to know that my offer is still open. I can't promise you romance but I do promise you what i think you need very badly. Here are my mobile and satellite phone numbers so that you can contact me no matter where i am.

Your friend always, John.

He added the numbers then slipped the note into an envelope and wrote Joy's name on the front, having already to drop the later into her mailbox tomorrow whilst she was at work. By the time she got home he would be long gone.

Then it would be up to her.