Chapter 3 I remembered

shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins For you to sharpen your knife Offer me that immortal death Good God, let me give you my life No masters or kings When the ritual begins There is no purer innocence Than our sweet sin In the madness and filth Of this sad worldly scene Only then am I human Only then do I become pure, oh, oh [3] Amen, amen, amen I opened my eyes again and noticed that practically everyone was tuned in to the guitar and my voice, and I didn't want to disappoint them. I gave it my all and Take Me To Church seemed to touch every single person present.

Minutes later, I finished the song and a round of applause was given. I smiled, because it wasn't common to get congratulations at these shows. I wasn't there for fame or money, I was just there to sing. But it made me happy to know that they had enjoyed it.

I continued my playlist and smiled knowing that most of them seemed as open-hearted as mine in those few moments. When I finally finished, at the end of the night, I thanked them briefly and left the small stage. Will greeted me with a hug, and it was impossible not to return it. I kissed him on the cheek and smiled in his direction. "I think I deserve a drink," I suggested and he nodded. "All for the owner of the whole damn thing." I laughed at his vocabulary and followed him to the bar. "The star of the night." As soon as I stopped, Will stepped forward and ordered a shot of my favorite whiskey. "I'm going to walk around, my love." I nodded to his attentive gaze. "Do you need anything?" I kissed his cheek once more and thanked myself for having that man in my life. He was one of the few who could really get close. Will was like a brother to me, and he took care of my real brother like he should. I missed Lucas right away.

"Is Lucas still in the office?" I asked, and he nodded. A grimace framed his face. "I'm the sociable one at the restaurant, and your brother, what can I say?" he snorted, making me smile. "He loves his own space and taking care of boring paperwork." "Lucas and his habit of being boring when he wants to be," I teased. "I admit that sometimes he's not at all..." "Will!" I hit his chest and he laughed. "Go bother someone else! I don't want to know how you and my brother have sex." "But I..." "Bye, Will!" I raised my hand and downed the whiskey. I left the glass on the counter and my brother-in-law behind, following through the people. As soon as I left the establishment, I took a deep breath and tried to avoid the urge to smoke. That shit was still tormenting me, and I tried to avoid it as much as possible. The prescription drugs I took every night were enough to leave my body in a big "organized" mess. I ran my hands over my arms and took another deep breath, missing the song I had sung a few minutes ago. Singing kept me sane, reminded me of good and unforgettable moments. It reminded me of the man I wanted back so much, but couldn't have. It was shitty to only be able to trust your heart to someone who only had eyes for someone else. "Excuse me." A hoarse, thick voice reached my ears, and I looked up. That perfect Spanish sounded and I tried to disguise what his voice alone had caused me.

I analyzed the man in front of me and thought I was going insane. He was gorgeous. A bad boy air hung over him, as did the roguish smile that framed his handsome face. Clear eyes and dark blond hair completed his beauty, as did his unshaven beard. "Do you always sing here?" I found his question strange and took a step back. I wasn't used to such approaches and I didn't even feel like it. "What do you want?" I asked directly, and my face fell. "Invite you to dinner, maybe." He suggested, and the smile remained on his face. I couldn't say what that caused me, but at the same time I thought about running, I remained standing there. "I'm not hungry." "It's okay." He said carefully, noticing the way he protected me with his arms. "Sorry for the way I approached you."

"Okay." I turned my back on him and decided to go back to the restaurant, without looking back. With green eyes stuck in my mind, and being sure that they followed me every step of the way. 02 "It seems like I'm always apologizing for feeling Like I'm going crazy when I'm just fine I've heard I could take something to fix it [4] Man, I wish, I wish it were that simple, oh" I glanced at the people on the dance floor. I quickly thought about the pros and cons of letting the night take me. It had been a long time since I had dedicated myself to such a thing. To simply enjoy the night and who knows, take a stranger back to the hotel I was staying at. I had policed ​​myself for a long time about it. However, I couldn't deprive myself forever. Being a woman wasn't something I asked for, however, in my daily life, like many millions of others, I had to face my fears. I tied the black jacket around my waist, exposing my back.

I noticed the bartender's smile change, and I couldn't deny that I knew I looked beautiful. Even desirable to some looks. However, it wasn't something I wanted. The problem was thinking that women dressed for men, and even for other women. In my case, I could speak with authority. I dressed in what I wanted, what made me look pretty when I looked in the mirror. I didn't care about other people's opinions.

And it hurt to remember, many times, what my traumas said about me. I walked towards the dance floor and let the music carry me away. There were several people dancing alone, a reggaeton that energized everyone around. It was as if the music forced us to surrender. At least, I was completely surrendered. "Dance me like it was the last time And teach me that step that I don't know A very soft kiss, baby Taki taki Taki taki Taki taki Do you want a kiss or Booty explodes like Nagasaki Lock up the Kawasaki engines The disco is full and the Anunnakis have arrived Don't go down, the booty sticks out of your outfit." I closed my eyes to the beat and let my hips work on their own. Singing was my essence, but dancing felt just as good. I remembered the funk classes I had taken a long time ago.

They were definitely worth every penny spent. Learning to dance was one of the ways I got to know my own body and, therefore, got to know myself. Somehow, I understood that I needed to take care of what was mine, starting with the simple step of looking at myself carefully. I felt something burning on my skin, but it wasn't the heat of a burning fire. It was as if something was following me, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't take that feeling negatively. I opened my eyes and looked around.