Chapter 1 married

desired was married, and worse, he would never look at her as his. Not this time. However, it was difficult to trust men, even more so those who had easy smiles and free charisma, which is the very personification of Guilherme. However, a man like him didn't need to become something more. A woman who doesn't trust A man confronted by the past Fate always seems to interfere A completely unexpected pregnancy Can love arise in the midst of not looking for it? Playlist A House We Never Built – Gabrielle Aplin Anxiety

– Julia Michaels feat. Selena Gomez Apple – Julia Michaels Biches Broken Hearts – Billie Eilish Deep – Julia Michaels Happy – Julia Michaels Jump – Julia Michaels feat. Trippie Redd Let You Love Me – Rita Ora Like To Be You – Shawn Mendes Lovely – Billie Eilish feat. Khalid Nicest Thing – Kate Nash No Matter What – Callum Scott Not My Ex – Jessie J Peer Pressure – James Bay feat. Julia Michaels Perfect To Me – Anne-Marie Shallow – Lady Gaga feat. Bradley Cooper Sucker – Jonas Brothers Take Me To Church – Hozier Then – Anne-Marie What A Time – Julia Michaels feat. Niall Horan When The Party's Over – Billie Eilish Worst In Me – Julia Michaels Dedicated to all the strong women who kill five lions in the morning Lions often disguised as care, affection, passion, affection, love. It's not, and we know it. At some point, we know. Foreword "you may not have been my first love but you were the love that made all other loves irrelevant" other ways to use your mouth Rupi Kaur Prologue ""I smelled like a rose, can I give you shots? No, I don't wanna fight, but I will if you want me to I don't swim, I just dive straight into those blue-green eyes [1] No, I don't wanna fight, I just wanna be."

I adjusted my mug and turned on the espresso machine. I walked towards the large glass door of the living room and placed one of my hands against the cold glass. A light rain was falling, which seemed to mark the city I loved so much. I was only wearing a sweatshirt that was twice my size, which belonged to my brother and which I had not given back since I was eighteen. My hair was tied up in a bun on top of my head and I was wearing only a pair of panties as a bottom. I looked at my feet with the socks with emojis and smiled: the perfect look for a rainy day indoors. In reality, I felt like I was forcing a smile. The previous night had left my heart in danger and anxious, and I had finally made my decision. I would tell Guilherme what I had kept so much and what I wanted so much. Maybe he would understand. Maybe he really understood. Maybe he wanted it. The sound of the espresso machine caught my attention and I left my perfect music video scene and went to the kitchen. I picked up my mug and for a second, a small flashback went through my mind. About everything I had experienced in the last few months, and I didn't even understand where I was going. I just went. At that moment, I finally understood why. The mug in my hands was proof that the path had only surprised me, but it hadn't been a mistake. I ran my hand over my belly and felt my heart race. Just a few days, and everything had changed, and I had begun to understand that there was a life there. More than two months, almost three, and for the first time, I was looking for the calm I needed in him or her. I suddenly felt anxious, even though I had never planned on being a mother. It happened...

A single night was enough to unite me with Guilherme forever. The night we made love for the first time. I couldn't have imagined that I was pregnant, especially since I didn't have any obvious symptoms, other than a late period, which was something that happened to me quite often. However, there I was. I was starting to want something like looking at him once and for all, beyond the strange images from the first ultrasound. I wanted to look at him or her, and know if their eyes would be the deep green of their father's that took on new shades depending on his mood, or the light blue of mine. If his hair would come out light blonde like his mother's, or even Guilherme's darker tones.

I took a deep breath, catching myself thinking about him once again. It was like an addiction. However, it was a reality. The mug with a character from my favorite video game, which I had received as a gift when I returned from Spain, said more about him than about me. Or rather, it said a lot about us. I raised the mug to my mouth and took a long sip of the hot chocolate. Noises coming from the room caught my attention and I tried to figure out how to start that conversation. Things could turn out unexpectedly. Even more so, because my decision was so well thought out, unlike being pregnant by a man I barely knew. At that moment, I did. The months had shown me that, as well as his way of being, nothing like the one I once had. I had already known pain with someone, which I simply could not put down as a relationship. Not anymore. However, I had known love on another occasion, but nothing compared to what I had experienced recently. I sighed deeply when my eyes met the sight of Guilherme leaving the hallway and heading towards the living room. It was like his morning ritual.

God, I had even memorized that! One step closer to the sofa, and he raises his arms and stretches. Done. One more step, and he simply throws himself onto the upholstery. Done. He takes his right hand and runs it through his thin beard, as if thinking about life and at the same time about nothing. One day I would ask him what he was doing there for so long, for about five minutes, clearly closed off in his own world. The minutes passed, and done. Then he stands up and soon his eyes fall on mine. I analyzed his expression and noticed his frown for a second. Maybe he wanted everything, except for me seeing him in his kitchen after the night before. However, there I was. Because I had gotten the day off. As he himself would say: surprising and unpredictable. Maybe I was. At that moment, for a good reason. - Good morning. Just that simple line in Portuguese caught me completely off guard. It wasn't the playful and good-natured Guilherme in the morning. It was the closest version of him I had ever met to being cold.

He usually shouted buenos días and kissed me on the forehead. When did we lose that? My mind punished me, as well as demanding that I do something. That was the moment. I looked straight into his eyes and gathered courage. Let's go! It wasn't that difficult. Maybe it was, for me. I should follow his advice and not force myself. However, it wasn't an effort, it was more the fact that I was suffocating with my own feelings. I opened my mouth to speak, at the same time the doorbell rang loudly. I froze and let out the air I barely knew I was holding. Guilherme stared at me for a few seconds, and then the doorbell rang once more. I saw him turn around and curse something in Spanish. I smiled, because it was completely funny to see him getting tangled up with both languages. I kept my hand on my belly and thought about what I could do to confess my lov