Chapter 2 I smiled

mouth to speak, at the same time the doorbell rang loudly. I froze and let out the air I barely knew I was holding. Guilherme stared at me for a few seconds, and then the doorbell rang once more. I saw him turn around and curse something in Spanish. I smiled, because it was completely funny to see him getting tangled up with both languages. I kept my hand on my belly and thought about what I could do to confess my love and for him to believe me. I felt ready for it. - Look, Gui, I... My sentence trailed off, just like that moment.

There was a woman on top of Guilherme, hugging him tightly, and I could lie and say I didn't recognize her, but I knew her from the photos on his notebook. Melina. I expected Guilherme to quickly push her away, but he didn't. On the contrary, he ran his hands over her back, as if assuring her that she belonged there. That he had waited for her.

I lowered my head and went to the bedroom in that same second. Finally understanding, that I had understood completely wrong. I was his beloved, until she arrived. In the end, maybe he doubted my feelings, because he wasn't sure about his own. It wasn't his insecurity, it was because of his true love. That explained the way he had looked at me minutes before she showed up. That wasn't my place. It was hers. I smiled reluctantly, and felt the tears fall. I quickly got ready and threw the backpack I had left with some things on my back. I needed to get out of there. I wasn't the protagonist of that story. As always. I had to accept the reality that this man had made a choice long before we met. Part I "trust your body, it reacts to what is right and wrong better than your mind - the body talks to you" what the sun does to flowers Rupi Kaur 01 "Tell me something, girl. Are you happy in this modern world? Or do you need more? [2] Is there something else you're looking for?" Months before... - I don't need that, Will. My brother-in-law smiled broadly and shrugged, then left, not paying attention to what he was saying. I snorted softly and adjusted the microphone to the necessary height. I quickly looked around and smiled, because that restaurant was just as he had described it

– mysterious and cozy. People ate and talked, not paying attention to what was around them, it was as if each one was in their own world, or sharing something only with their table companions. I looked once more at the songs chosen for that night and smiled, I was completely in love with each one of them. I tucked a strand of hair that was insisting on falling over my face, behind my ear, and sat down on the high stool, adjusting myself there. I looked at the clock and there were about five minutes left until the show started. I sighed deeply and looked to the side, seeing Will make a positive sign with his hands, I nodded and soon a weak but sufficient light illuminated the small stage that until then was empty. Having live music was what set some restaurants apart from many others, people felt curious about it, and if the singer was good, they felt even more part of the place. Music brought people together, and that was why I loved spending my nights singing in different places. Music helped me bring people together. "Good evening, everyone," I greeted them, testing my Spanish that I hadn't used for a long time. According to Will, it was great, but for the Spanish people who were staring at me attentively at that moment, I decided to explain myself. - My name is Jéssica Medeiros. This slight accent, or not so slight, is due to the fact that I'm not from here. - I explained and noticed some smiles in agreement at the tables nearby.

- I was invited by one of the owners to sing here today, and I hope I can contribute to the best dinner of your lives. - I smiled and picked up the guitar that was next to me. - The first song has a personal tone, I admit, and since I think it's incredible, I decided to do a version. I hope you like it! Many people didn't pay attention to the stage, and I was used to that, especially because I wasn't the star of the night, I never wanted to be. It was more like putting my heart out in a healthy way, putting my most disturbing emotions out loud. Singing made me feel free. Freedom was the word with the greatest meaning in my life, and it was marked on my skin as a constant reminder of how I got there. I played the first chords and many heads turned to the stage. That song really captivated, as much as it intrigued. There was no right way to define how beautiful she was, at least in my opinion. In a way, she helped me to put several intimate truths out there. A form of protest, many times. "My beloved has humor She's the giggle at the funeral She knows everyone disapproves I should have worshipped her sooner If the heavens could speak She's the last

true prophetess Every Sunday gets darker A fresh poison every week We're born sick You hear them say My church offers no absolution She tells me: Praise within four walls The only heaven I'll be sent to Will be when I'm alone with you I was born sick but I love it Command me to heal Oh, amen, amen, amen Take me to church I'll praise like a dog In the sanctuary of your lies I'll tell you my sins For you to sharpen your knife Offer me that immortal death Good God, let me give you my life Take me to church I'll praise like a dog In the sanctuary of your lies I'll tell you my sins For you to sharpen your knife Offer me that immortal death Good God, let me give you my life If I'm a fair-weather heathen My beloved is the sunlight And to keep the goddess by my side side She demands a sacrifice Drain all the sea, get something shiny Something meaty for the main course That's a nice pedestal What have you got in the stable? We've got a hungry lot of worshippers That looks tasty, that looks plentiful This work is insatiable Take me to church I'll praise like a dog In the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins For you to sharpen your knife Offer me that immortal death Good God, let me give you my life Take me to church I'll praise like a dog In the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins For you to sharpen your knife Offer me that immortal death Good God, let me give you my life No masters or kings When the ritual begins There is no purer innocence Than our sweet sin In the madness and filth Of this sad worldly scene Only then am I human