Chapter 2 Second

MARIA.

I slid the brush through my perfectly smooth strands and divided in half, completing the appearance of a doll with my simple makeup: well-made skin with base and concealer, contour, blush, mascara and a thin eyeliner that gave me the air of a princess that everyone loved. I took the pink lipstick and passed by, staring at me, wanting to clean everything and go back to my bed.

I couldn't fall apart. I repeated to myself that I was strong enough to face what was necessary. I went back to fixing my hair, going to the collar of the dress and a firm knock sounded on the door. Before I could answer, my sister showed up with her hair tangled up, wearing a husband's shirt, sleeping shorts and my nephew sucking on the breast.

Anastasia never cared about being perfect. She was fun and wild, a fierce protector and an unparalleled best friend. The sister that life gave me. The best in the whole world. Sometimes, I envied her completely. She was beautiful and breathtaking, had a princess life and yet she didn't care about bullshit.

I was a well of futility next to my sister and I spent my whole life worried about useless things, without strengthening my mind and

Heart at the most important moment.

- He doesn't want to let go of my chest - Ana started talking with regret. - I won't be able to keep up with you. Dad asked you to go to the office.

- It's okay - I guaranteed and remembered to smile as I always smiled, masking the hole I felt in my chest. - I can face this alone.

Anastasia gave me a critical look, as if I knew perfectly well that I was holding myself by a thread. I've always been a good girl. I never got into trouble and every time I was solded, it was because I was on her wave. Ana was the one who prepared, challenged, did not keep her tongue inside her mouth and farted whoever was in front of her. I was more restrained, fearful, if they yelled at me, my eyes were filled with tears. If they yelled at her, my sister would grow up into a dragon.

That night, I needed to have been a little more like her.

With a huge mental effort, I got up from the padded stool of the dressing table and went outside the room. I walked down the corridor calmly, one step at a time, aware that my sister was watching me like a hawk. I went down the stairs and my brother-in-law was standing, near the hallway, sticking the phone in his pocket and I avoided looking into his eyes. I couldn't stand the shame.

Before entering my father's office, I stopped and focused on the sound of the waves hitting the bursting and corals near the beach. That was it. Facing fate. I opened the door and didn't look at my mother, much less at my father. I focused my gaze on the photo on the table and occupied the armchair in front of the huge mahogany table, which Dad had kept for many years in his office at our beach house.

I was ready to apologize for being so weak, for embarrassing our family when we had barely managed to get back on our feet, but I didn't want to be engaged anymore. I prayed that that night would not have undesirable consequences, which would make me join a man who could not stand the touch for the rest of my life. Before I could talk, Dad apologized to me and said something I didn't expect.

I looked ut and found his fault. But it wasn't my father's fault that my fiancé didn't keep his dick in his pants. It was a relief. I was free.

- Romano reached an agreement with his family. They will protect the news until it is inevitable and the consequences will not be so painful for you. As soon as the right time passes, we will look for another family and this time, I will make sure to promise it to an honorable man. - Dad bowed. - Forgive me, my sweet.

I wanted to scream so that he wouldn't look for anyone else, but everything was stuck in my throat. Without saying anything, I looked at the ostentatious wedding ring and thought about how happy I was to see her, feeling like a princess, finally fulfilling my dreams as a girl to have my house, my husband, my life and prepare myself to have children. I thought you had met my prince charming.

It was so hard to accept that the reality was cruel.

I slid the ring from my finger and put it on the table. She tinkled and stopped near the mug of water. I got up and turned my back, not before I noticed my brother-in-law's look. Romano knew. For some reason, I hadn't told my parents. I quickly deviated and left the office, ignoring my mother's crying call.

Then I would deal with her, hear her regrets of being ashamed and that all her friends would talk about the end of the engagement for months until she found out the reason for the breakup.

I went straight through the back, scaring the housekeeper and cook, and ran around the backyard, circling the pool. I took off my sandals when I got to the sand and went straight to the sea. My dress was lace with a lining and got stuck as soon as the first wave burst on me. I advanced in the ocean,

Desperate to wash my memory and all the confused, negative and stressful energy that took hold of my soul.

I dived to the calmest part, floating, looking at the sky, choosing to get lost deeply in the blue immensity. I sank, held my breath and stayed as much as I could until I felt that my head was hurting and my lungs exploding. I emerged and was suddenly pulled up, which made me swallow water. Coughing, spitting.

- What were you doing? - Romano shook me. - We lost you in the water! You can't do that, Maria!

I couldn't say anything, still coughing with the salty taste of the sea and being pulled out of the water. Anastasia crossed the strip of sand running and I hated myself for seeing the tears running down her face. I was taken in your arms.

- I'm sorry - I spoke hoarsely.

- I've never been scared like that again, did you hear me? I love you and I never want to live without you. - He held my face very firmly. - Come on, let's go in.

I let myself be taken to the room. My sister went in with me in the shower, helping me put on my pajamas and combed my hair as if I were a small child. Everyone was thinking that my sadness

It had everything to do with the end of the engagement that I was exploding with happiness a few weeks before. In fact, no one knew how relieved I was to never see him again.

Anastasia held my shoulders and stared at me with caution.

- Romano told me.

Damn. I should have known that he wouldn't keep something like that from my sister for a long time. They had a promise to never lie to each other.

- Why didn't you tell me anything? I would have his cock cut into thousands of pieces and give it to our dogs.

- I didn't deny it. I said yes - I whispered.

Anastasia exploded. His temperament was erupting.

- He shouldn't have... - She stopped talking when my eyes filled with tears. - Don't feel fear, guilt and much less shame about it. He deceived you, made you believe that he was living a romance and even though he said yes, he was manipulated. It's not your fault. Do you understand?

No. I didn't understand. I paralyzed with fear. - Why do I feel so dirty?

My sister looked at me with affection.

- You dreamed of fairy tales, that your marriage would be like in the novels you spent your whole life reading and had a huge disappointment right at first. - He held my hands and squeezed. - This moment does not sum up your whole life and does not mean that you will no longer live the way you have always dreamed. Have faith and patience.

I didn't believe that one day I would believe in my sillyest dreams again. All I wanted was to get in bed and sleep until I couldn't anymore. Without saying anything, realizing that I was at my limit again, my sister covered me and lay down with me, just as we did as children, whenever we were sad, afraid that Dad would not come home or simply needing each other's affection.

I missed her every day. The distance was cruel, but I knew that my sister was very happy and loved by her husband, she was conquering her space and new friends. I closed my eyes, hugging a pillow while she hummed a lullaby in Old Italian, with words little used today, one that our maternal grandmother sang whenever we went to sleep in her house.

All my heart needed at that moment was peace and comfort. I was loved by my family and would not give up on my life

For him, but I was hurt and needed some time to heal myself and maybe so, to feel proud of myself again. Maybe my sister was absolutely right with her little criticisms through my spoiled outbursts: it was time to grow and mature.