Chapter 3 3

"What did your mom say?" she asked, "Well, Mama said that she is the one who deserves to

spend all the money we enjoy now, because we had a fight in the past, she's addicted to the

gamble so Papa used up what he had saved. I don't have an opportunity to ask my father since

they asli dodge that question," I explained at length and Tita was stunned by what I just said.

"Maybe your mom is right, let's say that what she did to your father was wrong. All of us commit

a mistake so maybe you also need to ask your father." I sat down and closed my eyes.

"It's hard Tita, Papa has a heart problem and I can't afford to have him into a new heart attack if I

will try to ask him that especially and they seem to avoid that, even my Tita Amelie. It's just I

feel betrayed that they are keeping it from me, I can't ask my mom since she wants to come out

of my father's mouth right away whatever he is referring to." I fell on my hand and caught my

breath.

If Tita wasn't here, I will smoke so I can calm down my ass and took a deep and fresh air. I know

that my mom's intention when she asks that is clear, maybe I got blinded by my hate and pain so

I forgot that there are two sides to the story and I can't only know one side.

I can't help, people always describe my mom as a bad and irresponsible mother. On some part,

maybe she is but why is her anger so intense. I'm confused and I want to know the truth, I have

my mom's permission and she is the one who said that.

"Aunt, I want to ask something too personal and it's up to you if you will answer it or not. I mean

I want your opinion here." Auntie looked at me and arranged to sit down.

"Okay hija, to clarify the things that are bothering you."

First I took a deep breath and looked directly at Tita. "When you find out that your husband has

another woman, do you even blame him on his absence or how do you feel?" Aunt's eyes went

low and smiled bitterly.

"To be honest hija, on some part I blame him and his other woman. But when I found out that he

had a child before us and he didn't know that he had a child, the truth is that we talked, please

let's keep this as a little secret okay?" I nodded and Tita closed the car window.

"Okay, Navi's dad and I was a product of arrange marriage. I learned to love him and also love

me in some way. Until one day, everything is okay and the mother of the first girl he loved came,

they said that her daughter has a son to my husband and hasn't told for a long time because he

doesn't want trouble." Aunt wipes her tears and smiles.

"But you know, as what others say. If you love someone, then let him go. We have an agreement

that I will let him do what he wants, just he has to be fair you know, I am not asking him to lend

money for me but for my son. I won't chase them and let us get married, he said yes and I start

doing tje business all by myself. We separated amicably and my mistake was that I didn't tell my

son the truth, and it went gard for me to tell the truth because I don't want him to be mad at me."

"I may sound selfish but Navi is the only one that I have Kourtney, her father is not here so I let

his anger turn into a wrath. I know it's my fault but it's too late hija. Even if I tell Navi nothing

will happen." Aunt started wiping her tears and I hug her tight.

"No, you just want to protect Navi and I understand you." I caressed Tita's back. Maybe that is

also my dad's reason, he wants to protect me from the pain that I don't deserve at all. Maybe it's a

problem between the two of them, and if Papa doesn't want to tell me then I have to respect their

decisions.

"I know it, thank you for letting me hear that. Promise that it won't reach Navi. It's our secret."

Tita pulled away and frowned, "It's been a long time for Navi, what did she say earlier?" I

immediately opened the car door.

"I'll go to him, Tita, he said he passed by someone in the office earlier," I said and Tita motioned

for me to go to Navi, we've been talking outside for a while.

I felt for my phone and it wasn't in my pocket or bag, I remembered that Mama and I talked in

the auditorium and maybe I left it there, the phone wasn't in the car either so I ran to the

auditorium.

I met Jonathan and the big smile on his lips, he is outside the auditorium now. "Look Kourtney, I

want to say something that I am keeping for so long you know." He bit his lips and held my

hand. His hands were sweating and he looked away from me. He can't even look straight into my

eyes.

"What is it Jonathan?" I asked softly and he looked into my eyes for a moment, but immediately

avoided them. He is restless and nervous now.

"Well, you know that my feelings for you weren't just an attraction you know." He bit his lips

and held my hand. He took a deep breath and smiled bitterly at me, I saw that his smile was

forced.

"I love you, I know that this is unnecessary but I really do. It's hard to hide this especially when

we all go our separate ways." I distanced myself a little and looked away.

"You know about me and Navi, right?" I said and he nodded. He was crying now and his voice

was shaking.