Chapter 4 4

"I want you and Xander to work things out."

And I swear, I felt my jaw drop upon hearing that.

"Tell me you're joking," I asked him. I didn't want to argue with Dad. Maybe this was his way of welcoming me back. Perhaps he was just joking. Dad shook his head and looked at me.

"Have you ever seen me joke, Savannah?"

"Then why in the hell would you say something as crazy as that, Dad!!" I shouted. Dad glared at me and threw water on my face. Mama stood and pulled Dad's arms.

"You are an Andrade. What will people say if you just throw away your marriage to Alexander?"

"No! I don't care about other people! I don't care about anyone! I will never be with that guy ever again! Why are you insisting on this? Is this your reason for sending me here again?"

"Yes. Sabina is gone, and you are away from your husband. Do you have no other choice as siblings than to be a great disappointment?" Dad bitterly said. I gasped and held on tightly to my sanity.

"Don't you ever dare compare me to that daughter of yours. She was the reason I lost everything, Dad! You have no idea, yet you have the audacity to push your desires on me? How could you? Why would you make me stay with this bastard again?"

"My dear, you have to make your--" Mama Alessa began, but my mom cut her off.

"Samuel, that's enough. Let Savannah be for now." I looked at her, and she just smiled. Dad looked at Mom. He was about to approach her when Lolo blocked his way.

"Sit down, Samuel," Lolo told Dad, then he looked at me.

"Listen well, Savannah Mikaella. You have been away for seven years, neglecting your responsibilities as Xander's wife, and we allowed it. We understood that you were hurt and needed time to heal. But seven years of waiting is enough. You will have to make this marriage work, whether you like it or not. Understood?" Lolo Samson's authoritative voice echoed in the dining area. I shook my head and looked at Xander, who was watching me intently.

"Is this what you want?" I asked him. He just kept staring at me, his eyes unreadable. He shook his head and took hold of my wrist. He lifted me as if I were a sack.

I didn't know where he was taking me. All I could see were smiles on my parents' and grandparents' faces.

"Damn you!! Put me down!!" I kicked as hard as I could. I even pulled his hair and bit his shoulder, trying to get him to let me go.

"Stop it, Van! You might fall!" he pleaded with me. But I tried even harder to free myself. I kept shouting for him to let me go, but he remained deaf.

"You monster!! Manipulative jerk!! I hate you!! I really, really hate you!!" I shouted. Tears were streaming down my face from the anger I felt towards him.

Suddenly, he pushed me into a room and threw me onto the sofa. Before I could even stand, he was on top of me, pinning my arms.

"Get off me!!" I struggled to free my arms. He closed his eyes and pressed his body against mine. My eyes widened when I felt his arousal.

"Xander?" panic was evident in my voice. He rested his forehead against mine.

"God, I missed you so much, Vannah," he said, almost sobbing. I remained silent for a moment.

"Let me go, Xander."

His grip tightened. He shook his head and buried his face in my neck.

"I can't. Savannah, I can't. I can't let you go."

I exhaled. This was incredibly frustrating.

"Xander, please. I don't want this. I'm tired of you. I'm tired of all of this. Just let me go."

He looked at me with wide eyes.

"No, Savannah! No! You can't get tired. No! You can't leave. I can't bear another day without you. I'll go insane. Please, just don't leave me."

I saw a tear roll down his cheek. I closed my eyes.

"No, Savannah. Don't be fooled. Don't repeat the mistake you made seven years ago."

"Savannah..." he called. I just stared at him. I tried to push him away with all my strength, and I succeeded. I sat there while he tried to reach me.

"Stop it, Xander! What's so hard to understand about me not wanting this?"

He was taken aback by what I said. He turned pale and slowly lowered his hand.

"I'm sorry. For everything that I said to you--"

I cut him off and stood up.

"No. Don't ask for forgiveness. I understand. I understand, Xander." My voice broke, so I paused. I took a deep breath as I felt the familiar pain resurface. "I perfectly understood all the things you said that night."

"Savannah..."

"I know, I know why you married me. It's not because you love me. You married me because you're in love with my twin, right?"

"NO!" He tried to hug me, but I stepped back.

"Don't touch me."

"Savannah, please, let me explain." He pleaded, but I just shook my head.

"Your explanation is seven years too late, Xander. Everything is broken beyond repair." I shook my head and reached for the door. He grabbed my arms and hugged me tightly.

"No. I won't give up, Savannah. I won't give you up without putting up a fight! Remember, we're still married. You're still my wife."

I laughed when he said that. I pushed him away and looked straight into his eyes.

"I was never your wife, Xander. I am just your substitute bride."

"Will you just please listen to me for just a fucking minute?!" he shouted at me. I leaned against the door and stared at him.

He engaged in a battle of gazes with me. He stepped toward me, then stepped back. He breathed heavily and seemed to weaken, finally sitting down.

"Why do you have to make everything so hard, Van? Why? Does it make you happy to see me struggling?"

I laughed at him. He looked so helpless now.

"That's not enough, Xander. Your pain still falls short of what you made me go through."

He reached out to me, but I shrugged him away. I just stood there, looking at him with eyes full of anger and loathing. Yes, loathing. Because "hate" doesn't suffice to describe everything I feel for him.

"I'm sorry. Truly sorry, Savannah. For everything." He cried and slowly bowed his head to hide his tears. I approached him, sat in front of him, and gently lifted his eyes.

"Will your sorry bring my child back to life, Xander?" I asked him. His head shot up, and he seemed stunned by what I said.

"Savannah--"

"It's fine with me, Xander. No matter how many times you hurt me back then. I loved you, after all. That's why I endured it all for you. For our relationship. I endured it when you threw me out of this house..." I looked around the room. I remembered everything. I remembered that night. I took a deep breath as I felt tears welling up. "When you threw me out and chose Sabina over me. But the fact that you kicked me out when I told you I was pregnant with your child? When you pushed me away and just let that speeding car hit me? When you told me that you would not accept any child if it wasn't from Sabina? Well, Xander, that was the last straw. No matter what you do, even if you shed blood, I will never forgive a murderer like you."

He cried uncontrollably and started trembling. I stood up and opened the door. I left him crying inside. I walked away and grabbed my pouch. I said my goodbyes to the elders, and they all looked at me, curious about how the conversation between their beloved Xander and his prodigal wife transpired.

"Savannah, please, please... give me another chance." I heard Xander running after me. I looked at him.

"I am sorry about the baby... I am sorry." He said. Then he ran past my Dad and my Grandfather.

"I lost someone too, Vannah. He's my child too. And the fact that I'm the one who pushed you away that night makes me feel a lot worse--"

Child? He considered them his children? Who did he think he was fooling?

"Shut up." I looked at him. Everybody started leaving to give us privacy.

"Do you really want me to forgive you?"

His face lit up with hope and joy. He slowly approached me and hugged me.

"What is it? Tell me, love. I'll do anything if it means you'll forgive me."

I smiled.

"Bring back my baby, Alexander. Bring him back to life. If you can do that, I'll forgive you."

He suddenly let go of me, looking pale and shocked.

"But, Savannah, that's impossible--"

I smiled bitterly.

"Impossible? So, I can conclude that my forgiveness is also impossible for you. Sorry about that, Xander."

I turned around and walked away. No. It's impossible now. I've been hurt before. He threw me out when I needed him the most. I'll never forgive him for choosing my cheating sister over me. Never again.