Chapter 4 Ellouise Trinidad

I am Ellouise Trinidad. I am 25 years old, and I am an orphan now because both my parents are dead. My mother has been dead for a long time; it was just before college, and my father died last year.

When I returned to our province after my grief, I just found out that he had left me his endless debt to Ms. Mrs. Tenor where it wants to take the land as compensation.

That is why I had to find a good lawyer to fight for that land because it was important to me- but unfortunately, I was confronted by a useless lawyer who did nothing but think of his own needs. I am not angry with Hiro because he should be angry with me for what I did to him before, but if I had to choose, I would not want to do that.

But it is too late. I have already done it and caused damage to him. We have been apart for over five years and can no longer change the past.

Everything between him and I had changed, even if it was a good thing or a sad thing.

He is successful, and I know he got it through his efforts. Ever since he does not depend on his parents, and I am happy because of that. He is still handsome, I mean- he has become a more attractive man and is still as good-looking as ever. That is why I could not help but stare at him earlier.

Why shouldn't I stare at him? I have not seen him for a long time, and as I said, I did not expect to see him earlier. How many times have I been back to that firm? If I'm not mistaken, it's the third time now, and I've never seen him there before, so I'm shocked.

I was happy when I saw him but not so happy because I noticed how much he had changed. From his posture, in the clothes, to his manners and the way he spoke to me, to the point that he told me about that THING. Everything about him changed.

I admit that we already did that thing when we were still together; he was the first man in my life.

My first experience of everything was with him, and that is why it was hard for me to forget Hiro.

I didn't notice that I fell asleep thinking too much about him during the trip between Aze and me back in the province, so I just woke up when we finally arrived.

Aze quickly opened the car door for me, and when I got off, he promptly confronted me, "Ellouise, are you all right? Did something terrible happen earlier? You can tell me anything; I'm here to listen and perhaps help you," he asked me anxiously while he was looking straight into my eyes.

I quickly avoided his gaze. "I don't feel like talking right now, Aze. I'm sorry; I feel drained right now."

"But since you came back from the law firm, you have been acting strangely, and I can't help but worry about you. Just tell me what happened so I can calm myself. The attorney didn't take your case, did he?" he asked and slowly turned me to face him. "I told you you could come with me instead of fighting for this land. You know that I like you, right? I like you, Ellouise. And I'm willing to give anything or everything you need to make you happy."

He gently touched my shoulders, and his expression seemed to beg now.

I quickly shook my head in disapproval. "I'm sorry, but this land is something that can make me happy, Aze. I can't give away this land just like tha; it's not that simple. I need to think right now, and I need some privacy. So, please, leave me alone," I said softly, removing his hands from holding me.

He just stared at me for a few seconds; until then, he nodded in agreement.

"Just keep in mind, Ellouise, that I'm always here for you no matter what. You can rely on me for everything you can't handle alone. Count on me; I honestly want to help."

"I know; that's why I'm thankful for you. I'm grateful that you came along with me today. I doubt I will ever be able to thank you enough for your kindness."

"Ellouise, I don't ask for anything in exchange. You know that."

"Yeah, I know. But I can help thinking that maybe someday something will cross your mind that I'm just using you, or I'm just taking advantage of what you felt for me."

"That will never happen. My intentions are pure. Can you just quit thinking that way? I like you, but you're also my friend."

Aze finally turned away after some brief and heartfelt conversation and got inside his pickup. I went straight into my house and locked the door without waiting for him to leave.

I fell, sat on the bench in front of the table, and even tweaked myself. I didn't know what to do anymore. This land is important to me. I don't know if I should just give it to Ms. Mrs. Tenor and go with Aze. Well, he's not my boyfriend, but he's been courting me for a long time, and we're also friends. If I ever go with him, I know he can give me everything I need, even if he is not that rich.

We will have a simple life, but is that really what I want to happen?

I know, and he knows that I don't have special feelings for him, and I clarified that before. But I also know that when there is a crisis, I am ready to go with him and forget everything. That's what I was thinking then; I'm just wondering if that's still what I'm thinking now, especially since I've seen Hiro again.

I can't deny that I still love him! I'm just afraid that the previous reason I left will be the reason I harm myself again. And that is something I can no longer afford to go through. Not the second time, so I'll never let myself be involved in Hiro's life if as long as I can. NEVER AGAIN!