Chapter 4 Donna Belotti

"What did he want?" I turned angrily to Mr. Tommaso as soon as that bastard was gone. "To talk to Rosemary, they are customers of the kind she likes" I saw him frown more than confused, I wasn't going to go into details of what happened.

I finished changing clothes, took off my makeup, pinned up my hair, threw everything into my backpack, got to the counter handing over the clothes, the boot along with everything that didn't belong to me, I went straight home, but the money they threw at the stage or me, didn't buy even a full box of the medicine.

I spent some time with my mother, limp in bed, the iron deficiency causes a lot of sluggishness in her body, she is motionless. "Honey go to sleep" I listened when my uncle spoke softly, I smiled weakly, tomorrow I have to wake up early, go to the cafeteria and there starts another job.

I took a quick shower to get rid of the insane touches, I hate when they touch me thinking filth, dirt, I rolled in bed for a while thinking about everything in the night, after all who was Rosemary running from? It all happened so randomly, she was so nervous she twisted her foot.

It was morning once again, the time did not pass rushing through the morning, between serving tables, serve customers, I arrived clumsily to Mr. Manolo to ask him to give me an advance of twenty percent of my pay, he did not like it, and did not even make a face of pleasure, but paid me what I asked.

I went straight to the pharmacy to get the medicine, I got home in a hurry so my uncle could go work in the neighbor's garden, it was already time to trim the branches that undo the drawings, I stayed the afternoon with my mother, she didn't want me to keep working at the club, but that's what has guaranteed her medicine.

I spent the week dealing with club performances, under the demands of Mr. Tomasso who asks me to be more sensual, he might even be right, Beyoncé, Rihanna do this and suffer no abuse, this according to him, behind the scenes we don't know what happens off the stage.

On Sunday in my day off from the club I called Joshua, but he was running against time to study, deliver the academic papers, we barely spoke, another week starting, it was another week to take my mother to the doctors, the nights at the club that would guarantee the money. But on Thursday, Mr. Tommaso dismissed me, he said I didn't have to go on Friday, he was going to test with a new star, who knows, maybe a more confident one to take a chance.

I knew what he was talking about, it's a nightclub with voyeurism, enough dissatisfied married men or scoundrels to leave their wives at home and seek fun in these places, I came home on Thursday upset, if the new dancer is hired, I run the risk of running out of money for medicine.

Called only on Tuesday, I presented seeing that none there was interested in what I would have to present, without any post show ballot, I changed clothes, I didn't know if it was a joke or out of pity Mr. Tommaso stretched me the twenty euro ballot as payment for the show.

"When you have interest in doing this for real, come back dear, this is a nightclub not a church." What he paid me was not even enough for a third of the consultation, I felt the tears coming to my eyes, I left the establishment controlling the rising anger in my throat, the falling droplets denouncing the rain soon to come.

I stared at the skies seeing dark and cloudy, as I lowered my eyes, I saw the same man there as that day, a man in a black suit, quite aligned, dark hair, perhaps strong, dark eyes looking at me, I turned to look at the door, surely he would be waiting for Rosemary, I had seen her full of smiles earlier, but what made her leave him waiting until now?

It didn't matter, it was none of my business, I held my backpack against my chest, clutching it like everything I hold most valuable, I walked along the sides avoiding the rain splashing on my body, as I crossed the street the car surrounded me near the sidewalk, the window was lowered, revealing a face as serious as it was somber.

I looked at the man inside him sure and confident of himself. "Have you thought about my..." I would never accept what he would have to propose to me, it was worse than dancing on stage with little clothes on, letting strangers touch me. "I asked, feeling the drops of water on my face, soaking my hair and making it run down my face.

I passed by the car reaching the sidewalk, I would never do something like that, my mother would never forgive me, and also lose my love from my youth, I walked through the dark sidewalks towards home, I looked back when I suspected I was being followed, I saw the same luxury car walking slowly, I stopped when I saw that he would not stop following me.

I barely approached when the car stopped, he got down wearing a black overcoat, very dark, an upper deck. "Sir...

"Stay in the car!" He spoke to a man inside the vehicle, perhaps the driver near the steering wheel. "It's ugly to chase others" I warned him watching him walk toward me, one hand in his pocket. "I am willing to raise the amount, would ten thousand please you?" I took a deep breath, ten thousand was a lot of money, and although I knew it would help a lot, I denied it.

Seeing him stop in front of me, the perfume came well before, strong, dominant, woody. "The city must have some brothel, for this amount..." It was by a daring act that I extended my trembling arm, touching his, removing his left hand from his pocket, the thick gold ring glistening on his finger, I released him as he reversed the movement looking at my hand, the rain thickened getting us wet. "Engaged" He checked when he saw my wedding ring.

"Married" He smiled an abnormal smile when he heard me, I just gave him the shore and then left, there was nothing new about the Blue Night crowd, it was with difficulty that we gathered money to take my mother to the doctor, who told me that her hair is falling out, and soon we will have answers about the marrow transplant, I took a deep breath in search of hope. "Do you already have enough to afford the expenses of the transplant?"

The Air that my lungs inhaled in search of giving me hope, expired immediately with his question. "How much will we need altogether doctor?" I stared at his browns telling myself it would be a low amount, when he smiled weakly. "Around a hundred thousand dollars, Donna, do you have that amount available?" I swallowed dryly, even mortgaging the house we wouldn't have the means.

I left the hospital sadder than I entered, my hope was the transplant, but with this amount it becomes impossible, I talked to Mr. Manolo, asking for an opportunity to work the whole day, but the boss showed me that the movement in the afternoons is worse than in the morning.

It was three days, long three days looking for a job something, talking the least with Joshua, with no response, I looked at myself in the mirror looking at my body, in search of courage, it was a choice to be made, maybe a path with no return. "Daughter, better go see her, she has a fever, if there is no mistake.

I looked at my uncle worriedly, I hurried out of my room arriving at theirs moments later, I touched my mother's forehead, feeling her more than feverish, her eyes closed, she was asleep from the weakness, I stated to the older man in the doorway looking at us. "I will prepare the medicine. "

But he denied it, I saw him deny it with his head twice repeatedly. "You don't, it's over" That was the worst, the beginning of the end for me, I hurried out to the cafeteria, it had been six days since I got paid, and once again I asked my boss for money, everything was going bad, very bad when he opened the drawer showing me few pennies in the wooden box.

I returned home, with my mother under the cold shower. "I talked to the neighbor, I will pick up her garbage daily, take care of the daughter dogs to help" I had no doubt at all of Uncle Carlos' love for my mother, there never was, but his age, sixty-eight years did not allow it, when the fever stopped, I left them at home.

I was willing to do anything to gain any value, I knew my choice could be without return. "Mister Tommaso I want back" My breasts bounced before me on the counter, the greedy old man looked with a look of who was looking for how to exploit, take money from me, removing the toothpick in the corner of his mouth "We don't want young puritans Donna, you may even have a cute face, but no one cares about face after five seconds"

He sneered at me, running his eyes down my body at the V-shaped tank top on my breasts, the baggy jeans on my body, I denied it, I would be willing to roll over, to rehearse with the dancers, to observe dance steps. "Give me one more chance, please.

He continued looking at my body from bottom to top, until he reached my eyes. "Fifty to fifty, without the combo of the night, if you want to join the girls to rehearse, perform something for me afterwards, if you are approved you are in, without effort you are out." I entered the still motionless place, I went towards my old dressing room, but the place already had pictures, clothes, shoes of another.

I left my bag in the corner, went to the hall, rehearsed with Rosemary's dancers, during and after the rehearsal, I kept rehearsing. "Mister Tommaso is calling you" I took a deep breath as I heard the warning, dancing so sexy was worse, I knew that, but nothing comes without effort in life.

I left the basement telling myself it would be just hands, I arrived at the empty hall, very dark, just listened to the music being released, I did the choreography fighting against myself, the dark helped, it didn't show my face, I wanted to dance as I learned at the academy, without vulgarity, art without sensual appeals, but something we are not told when we dream, is that to stay in the artistic world you must come from a rich family, have money, or it will be as difficult as any other area.

"Get ready, you'll be the second to enter, we will have five attractions in the evening, make sure you wear clothes and makeup, and have no shame to present, the less clothes, the more money my dear" I didn't want less clothes, but more money, yes, I need a lot, when I don't even have twenty euros to buy a pack of medicine.

The first girl to perform was a stranger, I still didn't know who she was, but I didn't doubt that she was one more in the same situation as me, I watched behind the curtain her show, shy, instead of money she won only a rose, although she was beautiful, in our environment it doesn't help that much, since nobody comes to a nightclub because to dance, it's for love of art, or for money, the first is not very common.

The blue dress with side bangs barely reached the middle of my thighs, the cold between them reminded me while I wanted to forget, at least the buttocks were not so exposed, nor the breasts, the already rehearsed American music started to play while I observed the nothing more in the distance, the men touching me, the men touching me, caressing me, groping me while I turned my hands away, listening to obscenities pretending to sing, the bills started to fall, it was for them and more of them that I sat on the chair, threw myself back, spread my legs, caressing in between them, the dancers around me felt this selling me and really was.

Even though the second skin shorts protected me, I felt no remorse when I raised my head after bending sensually in the black metal chair, to see that man sitting at the bar looking at me, with his eyes piercing, I raised my hand sliding down my neck to my breasts, squeezing them listening to the men screaming, I crossed my legs and stood up a while later, his serious expression, closed, making me think that there would still be dignity when I didn't sell myself to him.

The show ended, I collected the ballots on the floor, mentally counting around two hundred euros, I left the stage but Mr. Tommaso was already at the stage exit waiting for me. "He warned me greedy, I took a deep breath looking at him waiting with an open hand, I counted the bills giving him half of what I received.

I felt embarrassed at first until I reached the cleaning supplies warehouse, but from my old dressing room came out a drag only in stones, second skin, few colored stones, big red hair, I think an adaptation of Rosemary, the security when walking, the way of looking around with nose standing up, very superior.

I couldn't tell if it really was a man, but even if it was he was willing to do anything to empty his wallets, it didn't matter what his show was, but I was tempted to see, I hurried into the storage room taking off my dress until I heard the knock on the door, I picked up my cell phone clearing the place. "What do you want?" I asked as I recognized his shadow, the intense black eyes staring at me. "Twenty dollars?"

I took a deep breath upon hearing him, I turned my back, leaving the cell phone on top of a trash bucket. "Do you know what twenty dollars is worth in euros today?" The impactful, striking voice taking over, to the point of echoing, he wasn't loud, but strong yes. "You have other women around here, why don't you go make them hell?"