Chapter 2 Donna Belotti

I walked to the bed seeing my mother in it, my heart beating slowly, trying to control the emotions overflowing in my body. With slow steps I approached seeking courage, the woman on the bed, rather pale, her skin rather thin and yellow, moving the eyes that were once full of life looking at me. "Donna" She pronounced with difficulty for me, her voice low, in an almost inaudible whisper she pronounced in what I understood, perhaps it was more from the look or the smack of her mouth.

I held back my tears trying to be as strong as possible, it had been three months since she had changed drastically, we sought help where possible, but there was not much solution, nowadays everything is money, medication is expensive, the treatment not even our house pays giving as collateral a loan, I sat on the side of the bed touching her face, tracing the path of her nasal bone with my index finger, controlling the trembling of my hand, I had already missed the night at the club, I had just come from the cafeteria, I caressed her slowly as she always did with me when I was a girl. "I'm here mom" I spoke slowly, wanting her to know that I will always be here.

It wasn't a rainy day, the sun was warming the world outside, but inside me, it was as cold as the winter days, I dare say much colder, to the point of freezing my organs and I felt such coldness in my soul, this is the feeling of impossibility, uselessness when you love someone and can't do anything. "Donna, the pharmacy is due again" I got the notice from my stepfather next to me, I looked at him just above. "I'm going to ask for an advance uncle"

He smiled weakly as he heard me, not failing to show how helpless he feels too, but it's not his fault, if I can work someone should stay at home, taking care of her, plus no one wants to hire people at her age, knowing as well as I do that the life of a dancer is not so good, as for judgments, more what can I do? "Donna" The low, slow and quite fragile voice came out in another whisper, I looked a second time at my mother.

Wanting to pass her the exquisite comfort, security without there being any. "Daughter don't kill yourself from working so hard, I'm going to die" I saw the tear running down the side of her right cheek, if there is anyone in the world who couldn't die it's her, so full of life and always has been, striving to be a good mother, working as a clothing designer, always in love and delighted with her dress models.

I left the room without holding back, I would be capable of anything for her sake, as I know she is also capable for mine, "Honey you better get back, she's going to be restless". I looked at my uncle at the bedroom door containing my tears, I wiped my face with the sleeve of my long blouse, entering the bedroom again, I sat down beside the bed, seeing my mother without the strength to cry, the tear just ran down her face slowly.

"Mom, please think positive" I asked controlling my tears, wiping hers, she turned her eyes away from the ceiling looking at me, she has no hope anymore, and deep down neither do I, but I don't want to lose her, I stayed by her side for a while, singing her favorite songs, until she slept.

My nap time was brief, the afternoon passed in the blink of an eye, it was already night when I fed her with corn porridge, I left her at home under the care of my uncle. The problem only began in the evening, leaving home with the expectation of making money is just a feat, when randy men seek in a dancer space for their sexual liberations.

"Mister Tommaso do you have a minute?" I reached behind the Italian asking, seeing other dancers vying for his attention. All of them desperate for costume changes, time in or out, number. I had barely arrived at the club, I knew that my performance would be the second to last of the day, the night's favorite was already in the club, dressed only with rocks all over her body, a second skin to hold.

I don't deny that Rosamary's long, black, wavy, and voluminous hair is the most beautiful, her very toned breasts in which she makes a point of showing off that are six hundred and fifty mls of silicone, are beautiful, I imagine the pain in her back at night, when she goes to sleep.

The waist so slender, and shaped when that of any actress, her perfect dark skin, covered with red stones this time valued her more, the red lipstick on her lips so perfect, when she realized that I was looking at her, she stared at me, she is the star of the night when she performs, not so lucky for those who perform after her, the clients' wallets are already empty, ensnared by such beauty, we exchanged a short period of exchanging glances, the impeccable makeup still being finished, missing curling her long black strands in the babyliss.

"Not now Donna, don't see I'm busy" The boss growled stunned at the dancers from the first show, I took a deep breath knowing I'll have to surround him at the end, most will be gone by then, it's easier to ask for an advance between a few people over there. I entered the dressing room a few minutes later and looked at the dresses that I always wear during the performances.

Between yellow, green, silver, not red, Rosemary is already wearing red, her presentation is before mine, not that I'm the best, I'll just be a mouth shutter after her show, the bad thing is that men are already euphoric after her voyeur show, hands are more thirsty, looking for any contact, or heat.

"You must work hard today, we will have a special client" I turned around in a rush of fright when I heard the woman's voice not at all serene, Rosemary is like a natural phenomenon. "Ah all for you, I haven't heard of any client, and anyway no client looks at me after seeing our star". I didn't speak a lie at all, she is beautiful her body so statuesque, seeing her I smiled broadly, after letting out a mini huff of my lips. "You shouldn't put yourself down so much, you can be as beautiful as I am, besides I already have my steady client, I have no interest in taking that one."

I denied, knowing that despite being beautiful she is as bad, as well as bad tempered, no one here does anything for free. "I have no interest in getting any money other than from dancing, besides I have a boyfriend" She measured me looking from bottom to top, she smiled weakly, I knew she was mocking me, it's better to put yourself below that try to compete with her. "Then try hard to make sure he doesn't like you, because if he does..." She went off running her hand through my dresses, not being top quality.

"He won't like it, he knows I'm only here because I need to be, what do you want?" He looked at me leaving the metallic fabrics aside, his black eyes to greenish, as even with the green lens, you can still see some of his tone. "Just help her" I went back to watching the pieces, I didn't want her help, nor her good consideration, I had already seen the bad ones, some dancers who left here with scars on their faces, part of their body burned, for two months I was so quiet that she never noticed me?

"I heard that your mother is ill is that true? "I looked at her confused, but nodded. "Yes it is "Sadness was already taking the place of suspense in my chest, remembering our conversation in the afternoon, she has already lost hope, she seems to know well the disability of the daughter she has. "I could use the opportunity to change my life" I looked at her suspiciously, standing there among the dresses already worn many times looking from one to one with a superior look. "No thanks, I have a boyfriend"

That was our conversation, before I got out of the outfit I chose the metallic green dress, I watched it for a while, combed my hair leaving it stuck in a ponytail, I was picking up my makeup to prep my skin when shouts echoed down the hallway. "Ouch ouch it hurts, don't help me, it hurts too much"

I walked out the door of the dressing room near the cleaning storeroom, looking for where the screams would come from, until I found Rosemary's dancers standing over her, trying to take off the huge heel with shiny red stones, her crying, screaming in pain. "What happened?" I approached curious.

"She fell down twisted her foot" One of the girls warned, I looked at the foot in the hand of two beautiful girls, who were taking off their shoes, their performance lasts twenty minutes, there were ten minutes left before the first performance was over. The crying woman writhing in pain, held my wrist. "Donna please, Donna go in my place. "

I tried to let go when she asked, I got on stage in her place would be asked to be booed, receiving cans and glasses in my direction. "No, cancel the performance" One of the dancers shouted as she looked at me in the green dress, we all knew that the best in the place is Rosemary. "I agree Rosemary, I would never be able to do that in her place.

I tried to let go when she asked, I went on stage in her place would be asked to be booed, receiving cans and glasses in my direction. "No, cancel the performance" One of the dancers shouted as she looked at me in the green dress, we all knew that the best in the place is Rosemary. "I agree Rosemary, I would never be able to do that in her place.

I would never dare to compete with her, but that's not what happened when Mr. Tommaso ordered me to change my clothes, for one of his transparent necklaces, full of green stones, for enhancing my eyes, to have the women prepare a good make-up, and to curl my blonde hair, with brown strands.

I looked at myself in the mirror not recognizing myself in it, I needed the money and no one knew as much as I did, I could leave at that moment, but never leave my mother without any assistance. When I went on stage, after Juan's announcement, my legs locked, the men were whispering among themselves, it was moments before the booing started, they wanted the red rose, the most precious of the night.

A beautiful body, a good woman, full of resourcefulness and roll, the last two I even have, but not many buttocks and not a well-caved waist, we are very different, they want a woman who lets herself and love to be touched, the more money the better, it was with a push I received on my back to go to the middle when the dancers entered. "Go and make the best of it, just focus on Dom Valente" I swallowed dryly, looking through the crowd.

Until I saw in the corner of the bar, a man with a superior aura, but a dark manner, the darkness did not allow to see his face, the music started to play, with little courage and booing I started my number, more sensual and daring to please, it was a risk, and if I succeed, I will buy medicine without having to ask for an advance.

I closed my eyes imagining Joshua and me together, when he arrives, we will be married, what will I be like when I am his wife? Ah my beloved Joshua, it's been such complicated days around here. "One of the dancers warned near me, pushing the chair with her foot, I leaned into it thinking it impossible to do, shy, embarrassed, wanting to be a dancer but not a slut.

When a large hand forcefully slapped my right buttocks, I looked around pretending to sing the chorus, it was the most agonizing five minutes of my life, I wanted to smash the face of the person who punched me. I didn't even feel like myself, when it was barely over I felt a bold hand come to squeeze my breast, I just swerved avoiding the touch, I felt the caress on my arm. "Yummy, I want to fuck that little mouth"

I heard from a debauch, who was certainly waiting for Rosemary, relief really was when it was over. "Thank you all" I spoke clumsily, looking at the few ballots that fell on the floor, I didn't even have twenty large ones, I left collecting what I could, while they spread out in the bar.