Chapter 8 8

I'm ready to go back to that planet where it was just Valen and I.

"I plan to make Valen my main feature," Bardek finally says, and I see in his eyes that he means it.

"Good," I say, extending my hand. "Welcome to the Neron War effort, Mr. Lek."

He shakes my hand with a smile, and something in me says that we made the right move.

We dismiss with me telling them where they can take beds in the barracks. I introduce Bardek to all the key players. Explain to my people what he and his crew will be doing.

And then we eat.

We eat in shifts. One of Harp's men was a cook with Dominion and has taken over the duties of keeping us all nourished. We eat in rotations, with mine and Valen's being last, finishing just before sunset.

I feel like I should be staying up all night with my family, chatting and catching up and laughing and being happy. But I'm just exhausted. It's been the longest day.

So with apologies and quick hugs, I show my family to the barracks, and I say goodnight.

I fall into bed before Valen even comes in for the night. And I'm out within thirty seconds.

I don't miss Zayne watching me all the next day. I'm in and out of headquarters the entire morning, working with Valen, working with Lazarus, communicating with off-planet leaders. Checking in with those up in the sky.

I'm slam busy, but I keep feeling Zayne's eyes on me.

"What's with ex-lover boy?" Edan asks when we take a break to eat lunch together. "He's been watching you all day."

"Glad I'm not just being crazy," I say, relief leaking through my words. "I don't know what his deal is. I mean, he said he's got some yelling to do, but he's being weird today."

Edan nods. "Maybe he's just in awe that he used to mack on a full blown queen."

I throw him a dark look. "I'm not a queen."

"If that makes you feel better," Edan says as he stands up and takes his dishes to the bin. Without another word he heads off to do whatever it is he's doing today.

I feel Zayne's eyes on me the rest of the day while Valen and I work in headquarters, going over the watcher rotation with Lazarus and Andreas.

That night, when everyone has gone off to their bunker for sleep, I head out, knowing I'm not going home right now.

A little ways off from the entrance into the hillside, I see the flickering of a fire. And maybe it's our history, or maybe it's my Nero senses, but I know to head toward it.

There, sitting on a large rock, his expression serious and heavy, I find Zayne. With a deep breath, knowing what's about to come, I sit on another rock across the fire from him.

"Thank you for everything you've done since you got here," I say, cautiously watching his face. I can see the fire just under his skin. I know he's moments from that yelling match he promised. "You're the best at what you do. You're going to save a lot of lives."

He gives a little shrug, looking off into the darkness that surrounds us. "I guess it's nice to feel needed again."

"You're always needed, Zayne," I say.

He shrugs again, and I know this isn't what's on his mind.

"I don't know if there's an easy way to slide into this explosion, but I know we're both going to feel a lot better when it's over," I say, watching his face as the fire flickers light across his skin. "So why don't you just let out whatever is bugging you most right now?"

"You just took off and disappeared for a lunar, Nova." He doesn't waste a second. His eyes flick back to mine, glaring accusations at me. "We didn't know if you were dead. We didn't know if you were running away with Valen Nero. I didn't know if he was holding you captive, or if he'd done some crazy mind trick to make you think he wasn't the galaxy's second most evil person. And then Edan brings up that crazy story about the two of you being fated lovers and how you've already been in love with him for lunars. And it's shoved in my face that I have no slagging idea what's going on anymore."

He breathes hard, his nostrils flaring. He keeps lacing his fingers, and then unlacing them, angry energy making it impossible for him to be still.

"I get we're done, and I'm okay with that," he says. Yet I hear hurt in his voice. "But I thought we were more than just exes, Nova. You were my best friend, and I kind of thought I was yours. But then you started keeping all these secrets from me. And then Edan comes along, and before you even knew him, you had this weird bond with him, and suddenly I was replaced."

His words pierce me straight through. Hit me right in the heart.

Because he isn't wrong.

Zayne was my best friend. Even though things were complicated, we still gravitated back to each other after things ended. I still fought tooth and nail to get him off Korpillion.

And then Edan came along, and suddenly I had from him what I never felt from Zayne-acceptance and understanding. No judgment.

"I started keeping secrets from you because you always worry," I say, knowing it's a poor reason. "And I didn't want you worrying over me. I needed to make my own choices and I knew you wouldn't support a lot of them."

He just looks at me for several long moments, not saying anything. I see the gears turning in his head as he evaluates what I've just said.

He knows I'm not wrong either.

We at least understand each other pretty well, even if we don't always know how to support each other.