Chapter 3 3

"But every time I look at you, Nova, I feel something far more powerful." He takes three steps forward, taking my hand in his, holding my hand over his heart. "I feel fire. Heat. The want for something...different."

I swallow, because at just this simple contact, my heart is racing.

"I don't care if they don't trust me," Valen says. "The reality is that I don't care what anyone in this entire galaxy thinks about me except for you. No one on this planet trusts me, and I don't blame them for one second. But I need you to realize that, Nova. Because it means that they are here because of you."

Something drops in my stomach. Something hard and heavy and cold.

"I need you to recognize that they are looking to you-that what is giving them hope, is you, Nova."

"But, I am nothing," I breathe as a tremor shakes its way through my entire body. "I-"

"You are everything, Nova," Valen says, his voice a whisper of conviction. His brows furrow, and his Neron blue eyes bore into me with absolute certainty. "You are what will bring light back to this galaxy. You are who these people believe in."

I shake my head. "I don't know anything." My entire body is quivering with fear and insecurity. "I don't know anything about leading a war. I don't know anything about politics. I don't know about the interworking of Dominion. That is all you, Valen. That is why the galaxy needs you."

Valen's grip on my hands tightens and he leans forward, touching his forehead to mine. "I am here with you, for every second of this fight, Nova. I will share all the knowledge I have with you, give you every secret I know. But they trust you, Nova."

I take three deep breaths, and concede with a tiny nod. "We're in this together. You and me. I have your back and you have mine, no matter what the others say or think. I trust you."

"We're in this together," Valen repeats.

As he kisses me, I taste something bitter in it. Something unsure. Something that reflects the doubt of everyone on Kaelea in himself.

I press my lips harder to his, determined to crush it. I know Valen is good. I know he has the power to change everything in this galaxy. I know he's capable of so much more than I am. If anyone in this galaxy can fix things, it's him. Not me.

So, until everyone else believes it, until he believes it himself, I will believe enough for all of us.

I lie in our bed, staring up at the ceiling.

The sound of explosions echoes across the entire planet.

We thought we were going to have a few days of peace, that the next wave of ships was a way out, but occasionally Dominion's ships slip past our sensors.

I plan to put Zayne to work on that as soon as he gets here.

For now, in the dark, I lie awake, staring at the ceiling, while others fly in ships above us, fighting for our lives.

I feel guilty for every action taken in this cause that isn't directly fought by me. I can't stand the thought of someone getting hurt. Of anyone dying because of the choices made by me and Valen.

Things could have continued like they've been for hundreds of solars. No one would have thought about it at all. Life could have carried on.

But now I've given a face to change. I made a decision that I would fight. I invited others to do so, as well.

If people die in this war, it's because of me.

"It isn't because of you," Valen says through the dark.

No one in the galaxy can understand the storm inside of me except the man lying next to me. He can see it all, feel every inch of my emotions.

In my brain I know he's right. That the lives lost are worth the possibility of a Dominion-free future. But my heart still hurts.

So I curl into Valen's side, letting him wrap his arms around me, protecting me from my own thoughts, and wait for the day to begin.

I actually throw up, I'm so anxious and excited and nervous. Thankfully I'm by myself, headed from headquarters to the Airspace. My hands are shaking and my stomach is quivering.

I keep seeing my father lying on the ground, his throat slit, blood spilling onto the ground on Gara Lune.

He was dead.

I knew he was dead.

But still, frantic, I pressed my hands into his wound and summoned as much Neron as I could, pouring it into him.

I've heard his voice over these lunars, talked to him.

But I still can't quite believe it.

And Zayne. I know I need to patch things up with him. He's too important to me to leave things as they've been.

Edan. Oh, Edan Calwin. I need him here. I need his confidence in me because he makes me believe in myself and he encourages me with my mad plans. In so many ways, I feel like I've lost myself since we parted and I don't think I'll get those parts of me back until he delivers them with that manic smile of his.

Wiping my mouth with a wide leaf from a tree, I spit on the ground one last time and head toward the Airspace.

We burned all the vegetation down to the ground the first time we landed Deliverance on Kaelea. With as much Neron as it holds, it generated enough heat and energy to clear a one by one kilometer space perfect for a landing zone in the middle of this jungle. Currently, the ship sits to one side of the space, glorious and bright and beautiful, only able to fly when piloted by a pilot and a Nero.

I walk across the space, standing just to the side of our ship, and turn my gaze skyward.