Chapter 5 The House Is Not Okay

Lucy grinned widely, and this time Erza really paid attention, he just realized that Lucy had a tooth on the upper left side. Erza quickly looked away because he didn't want Lucy to feel bigheaded because he had been watching her for too long.

"It's a possibility," Lucy said with a shrug.

Erza gave a long snort. "Okay, I think I've had enough, I'm going to leave." He backed away from the parapet.

"Are you leaving now?" asked Lucy.

"What if I want to go now?"

Lucy's shoulders shrugged. "No problem, I'm just asking."

Erza nodded slowly, but he didn't say anything back. For a few seconds, the two teenagers looked at each other, before Erza slowly backed away and disappeared from Lucy's sight.

Erza shook his head at the thought of meeting that strange girl on the roof of the shopping mall. And not wanting to dwell on the matter, the boy decided to head home. Erza quickly drove his car at high speed, so it wasn't strange that he arrived in a fairly short period of time.

Suddenly, Erza remembered his two best friends. Surely Novan and Marcell were playing video games right now. Erza should be there with them, having fun and killing time. But, Erza couldn't. Actually, it was more like he didn't want to, Erza had too much on his mind to do that activity.

As usual, the door to the big house was unlocked. His mother must have been at home, he rarely went out. That afternoon after school, Erza rushed to see his mother, instead of changing clothes or taking a shower. Erza wanted to check on his mother. After that, only then would Erza calm down.

This morning, his mother had been rather fine. However, there was no guarantee that his mother's condition would remain the same. Erza looked in the kitchen, but his mother wasn't there. He also checked her room, but found nothing. Where had she gone?

"Mom!" Erza called out, his voice loud, booming throughout the room, and the boy continued his search. This time, his feet moved faster. Honestly, Erza's panic had peaked by now.

The house where he lived was so spacious and tall, there were two floors, the backyard was also wide, and on the side there was a swimming pool that could be used anytime.

Erza threw his bag in any direction. Then, after some time, the boy finally breathed a sigh of relief. His mother was sitting on the edge of the pool, legs sunk into the water, a book in her hand. Not a magazine, but a thick novel with small letters.

Erza sighed softly, his feet moving slowly toward his mother. "Mom, I've been looking for it since earlier, apparently it's here."

Erza's words and arrival were so sudden, making his mother quite surprised, shoulders tensed, and his gaze immediately rose towards the source of the sound, ignoring the novel she was reading for a moment.

Upon seeing her beloved son, the woman carried a faint smile, then completely closed the novel and placed it beside her body.

"Are you looking for me?" the mother asked, her round eyes blinking.

"Since earlier, I thought, mom went outside," Erza replied. He positioned his seat near his mother, his shoes already off his feet.

"I didn't go anywhere, I've been here since this afternoon. I'm sorry if I didn't hear you when you called my name."

"No problem." Erza replied softly, shaking his head. "It's not a big deal either, after all, you were reading a novel, and you were focused. It's normal that you don't hear my voice."

Erza started dipping his feet into the pool water, which was cold.

"It's too late, did you just get home?"

"Yes, after school, I stopped by somewhere first."

"Oh, I see."

"Mom is fine now, right?" Erza asked seriously, looking at his mother's face. The red color on her cheeks from last night was gone. Erza didn't know if it was really gone or if it was covered by makeup. Hopefully, the former was the correct answer.

His mother smiled, then nodded. The words then escaped her pale lips, "You don't have to worry, I am always fine, and always will be."

"No." Erza snapped back, his expression instantly turning hard. "You're lying, that's not what happened. You don't have to lie about your own feelings, you know that. You're not okay, and I know it."

Erza said sharply, leaving his mother speechless for a moment. His lips parted, but no words came out. The woman looked confused, before finally turning his face toward the front.

"In this place, mom is not okay, this place is hell."

"You can't talk like that, Erza."

"Why not? What am I doing wrong?" Erza smiled wryly. "There's nothing wrong with what I just said. Indeed, this place is so big and luxurious, but it is not comfortable at all. It's better to have a small place to live but bring happiness, than to live in a big place but be completely unsettled every day."

"Erza, we've been living here for more than just a day or two."

"But that doesn't mean we can't leave, right?" Erza let out a long breath. "Mom, if I'm being honest, I don't want to live in this house anymore at all. I'm fed up with everything that happens here. This house is not safe."

"Where do you think we should go if we really uproot from here."

"Anywhere, we can go where we want. The earth is so vast, there are many comfortable places."

His mother shook her head. "It's not that easy, Erza. I can't get out of here, and neither can you, I can't get away from you, you are my only son. I will always be near you, always."

Erza's eyes shifted to stare at the water in front of him. "Why can't we go? Because of that man? That's mom's reason?"

"He's mom's husband."

Erza gave a long snort. "You still think that crazy, asshole man is your husband?" Erza shook his head, unable to understand his mother's way of thinking. "I really can't get over it, he doesn't love you. Do you realize that?"

"It's not his fault."

"I can't understand why you're talking like that. Why are you defending that man? Not only does he not love you, but he also behaves cruelly towards us, especially you. He's often angry. Is that what you call love? You know what? That man should not exist on this earth. He's too crazy to be called a human being, I'm so sick of that man."

"He's your father, Erza."

"Stop saying that!" said Erza loudly, "My father is dead, okay? He's not my father, Mom, don't say that ever again. All this time, I've only had one father, and he's gone upstairs. No one can replace my real father."

His mother approached Erza, embracing her son from the side. "You must be tired after school, you better take a shower so that your body and mind become fresh again."

"Mom can't avoid this conversation. I won't leave until I'm satisfied with this discussion."

"We've fussed too much about things like this, Erza." His mother's words came out hoarsely.

"That's precisely why I want to keep talking about it so that you realize that I won't get tired of bringing it up and talking about it so that you can really open your eyes."

"What should I do? You should serve that man, because he is my husband. How long will this go on? It will go on and on. That is if you want to know the answer."

Erza laughed softly. "You're really out of your mind, you're willing to torture yourself all the time for that man. What's in it for you?"

"There's no particular reason. I'm not going to leave this house."

"I can't understand your way of thinking. That man is so cruel and heartless. You shouldn't defend yourself like this, especially at the expense of your happiness. I remind you again, he's not a good man, he's already hurt you. And besides, he doesn't love you anymore."

"Don't say things like that."

"Why not? That's a fact!" Erza's tone rose several octaves. Was it wrong for him to say that to her mother? Erza just wanted his mother to realize, nothing more than that. Erza's request was not too grandiose. He just wanted his mother to be happy.

Erza knew and was well aware that it was rude of him to speak in such a high tone to his mother, but if it succeeded in making his mother realize that, perhaps he would continue to do so.

Erza continued when his mother was still silent. "Here, I'm talking about what really happened, mom. Just imagine, every time he came home to this house, that man would get angry like crazy, then end up torturing mom. Is that your husband? What kind of husband tortures his wife all the time? He doesn't love you anymore. That feeling has sunk deep and will never rise again. Just look, he's going to divorce me soon."

"If your father divorces mom-"

"I told you he's not my father!" Erza spoke harshly again. But a second later, he regretted speaking in such a high tone. It wasn't Erza's intention, he was just carried away by emotion, and it just came out.

His mother understood, she said again. "Yes, he's not your biological father, he's your stepfather. But he's still your father, Erza. That is a fact." A breath was taken, before the woman finally spoke again. "And you should know one thing, as long as your father has not divorced you, you are still his wife."

"If he divorces you, what then? Don't tell me that I'm going to beg him to undo it. Really, if you act like that-"

"I'll accept the situation, no matter what happens."

Erza's sentence was cut short. The boy immediately shut up, lips pressed together.

"If the divorce does happen, I'm bad at accepting it. Perhaps it's for the best. But, I won't ask for a divorce first."

"In that case, I want you to quickly separate from that man." Erza spoke seriously, very earnestly. "I'm not happy here, I hope that stupid man issues her a divorce decree soon, so that everything is over."

"Erza, you don't have to hate him so much."

"Mom is very strange, do you know that? Someone keeps talking and acting rudely to someone I care about, and you tell me not to hate that person? What kind of madness is this? That's impossible. My hatred for that man is already growing." Erza's hands were clenched so tightly that his knuckles looked white.

"It's not entirely his fault. Here, I'm also at fault. I couldn't satisfy him."

Erza fell silent with one eyebrow raised, letting his mother continue her words. Waiting for the facts to roll in again.

"I can't get pregnant again. I can't give your father offspring. It's not his fault if he keeps getting angry at me."

"Just because of that problem, it doesn't mean he's behaving badly and cruelly. It's precisely because the situation is not possible that he should encourage you so that you don't feel guilty for not giving him what he wants. Not like this. This is all so ridiculous and can't be allowed to fester for too long."

There was silence for a split second.

"How long do you want this to happen, mom? Are you really strong enough to face the reality that is in front of you? Every time I get tortured and angry, my mind and body will not be fine. It's better for us to get out of this place of hell."

"Never mind, Erza, there's no need to discuss it anymore. Mom is fine now, just like what you see now."

"No, now you have to explain to me what happened last night."

"That's not necessary, you already know yourself."

Yes, that's right. Erza could guess it without needing to be explained. His mother was being tortured as always, and always would be.

"And now, where did he go?"

"I don't know."

"He left with another woman, can't you guess which one it is?"

"Erza, I don't want to think about that."

Erza pressed his lips together. His jaw was now hardened as his emotions had been channeled. This kind of chaotic situation had to be eradicated immediately. Erza wanted to be happy with his mother, how hard could it be?

"In fact, that man is dating openly. Doesn't it hurt you to see that? Instead of continuing to witness things that make feelings hurt, it would be better if we left here."

The woman did not listen to the words coming from her son's lips, instead, she lifted her feet from the pool water and stood up.

"It's almost nighttime, and mom hasn't cooked or prepared any food yet. Maybe your father will come home tonight. Oh yes, you should also take a shower," the woman said as she touched the top of Erza's head, before walking away.

Erza was rooted to the spot. As usual, he couldn't do much.

The boy was getting more and more confused about this problem. It was as if he was facing a dead end.

His mother did not want to leave to welcome the light of happiness ahead. His mother preferred to stay in the darkness.

Erza had only one question. How long was this going to take?