Chapter 4 4:Rip her wolf

POV of Bella

"I think we should talk." His deep rich voice sent a shiver down my spine, causing my insides to flutter and my eyelids close on their own accord.

I inhaled sharply, taking in his scent which intoxicated me to no end. It was impossible not to be drawn to him. The power of the mate pull is relentless.

Turning away from him, I gave him my back as I let my feet dip into the water once more. He made a move to sit down beside me and my pulse became erratic.

I couldn't look at him during this; The conversation that I knew would break my heart. Again.

"How did you find me" It was barely whispered.

"Bella." He sighed, running his hands through his hair. "I can find a trail of your scent everywhere you go. It's maddening, almost explosive to my senses when I come across your scent trail. With my being older, it's harder to stop my wolf from scenting you out. It's difficult to control anything when you are involved."

He must have already healed from his fight with Jacob because I saw no marring of his perfect flesh as I studied him out of the corner of my eye.

I couldn't find it in me to fully look at him. I could barely sit beside him without wanting to push my face into his neck. My wolf was stirring just beneath the surface and I had to dig my hands into the earth to keep them from reaching for him.

"Please look at me." His voice broke, pain evident.

Turning my head to face him, his wide blue eyes were glassy with unshed tears. He felt a different pain than I did. He wasn't shattered, but he was hurting. I wasn't sure if it was over me or the fact that his pack looked down at him now. He had a lot to feel ashamed over.

Inhaling my scent, he let out a sigh and continued, eyes scanning my face.

"I want you to know what happened. You need to know."

I shook my head. I didn't want to know what happened between them.

"I don't want to know. It's none of my business." I sounded as detatched as I felt.

Those blue skies narrowed on me, jaw clenching. "It is your business. You are my mate and I don't want to give you up for my mistake. But I need to tell you." His words were honest and this surprised me.

He didn't want to give me up? A little too late for that. I shook my head and fixed my gaze back on the stream before me.

He must have took that as a sign to go ahead and tell me.

"Bella, I spent my summer at Blue Moon, as you know. The males there... They are always fighting, challenging. The females are friendly. It's not like it is here. They do not value the mate bond that they could have with their mate somewhere out there."

"Neither do you," I whispered.

He hung his head in shame. "I do. I always have, Bella. My only friends there, they were female. The males looked at me as a threat, so I befriended a few females. Victoria was just a friend to me, someone to talk to. We didn't have much to talk about one on one. I was usually with her group of friends, I was never with a female on my own but once. Two weeks before I was due home, Vicotria's heat came."

This is what I didn't want to hear. But he needed me to know. It would only break my heart further, but he wanted me to know.

He lowered his gaze to where my hand dug into the earth and I felt a shiver run through my fingertips. He continued with his story, looking away from my face so he couldn't see my pain.

"It came to her before she realized it. We were sitting up late. All the pack had gone to sleep, and it hit her. I should have smelled it coming. I should have been able to sense it, but I couldn't!! I don't know why!"

He slammed his fists down on the ground, pain in his tone. He really didn't know why, that, I could tell.

Every female knows when their heat is coming, along with every male. It's a sweet, musky scent you can smell off that wolf. Victoria, herself, should have felt it coming, which didn't make sense. She would have sensed it coming weeks before it came.

"After everything was said and done, we realized what a mistake we had made. A male can't resist that Bella."

This was true too. Males can't resist a female in heat. A male having a mate will try to get to their she-wolf. Unmated males will try to get to any she-wolf, mated or not, which is why the females are supposed to be separated, away from temptation. Usually the parents or mate step in for this.

I hated hearing this. My stomach clenched and A tear fell from my eye as I took all of this in, keeping my eyes on the grass between us. I could feel his penetrating stare on my skin again, warming my insides with the burn from his gaze.

"But, Bella,... I won't mark her."

My eyes shifted up to his, looking for any evidence of a lie. There was none. He meant it, or he meant what he said at the moment.

He wouldn't mark her.

"You won't?" So much hope on that one question. But it was too late for hope.

Slowly he shook his head. The vibrations coming from his skin was playing tricks with my mind, thinking I could claim him. But I wouldn't, not when there was another female involved.

"My parents put her up at the cabin with the Oracle. I'm staying at an unused cabin across the lake. I didn't want her staying with me and my dad thought it was best if I wasn't near you during this time, just in case of your wolf, so I'm staying across the lake. It's easier on me without your scent always floating past me in the air.

My lips parted in surprise. I was sure that she was staying with him. The way they seemed at the packhouse together, It was as if they were trying to be what we should be, A family.

But then it hit me.

"You're staying away so your wolf won't be tempted to mark me and visa versa?" My brow rose, slight anger in me, mixed with a relief.

He did me a favor at the same time he broke my heart. My wolf was aggravated over the news, but I was happy. I didn't want tk be near him.

He nodded while his head was still down and I kept quiet, waiting for more.

"Victoria is the daughter of the Blue Moon's pack Alpha, Alpha Zaiq. When he found out I didn't have a mate yet, he wanted me to take her home and mark her as my mate, uniting our packs, giving me title over his pack one day as well as this one."

Those blue eyes met mine. "I'll be honest, I had thought about it until I saw your face that night, smelled your scent and realized what you were to me. Then things changed. She was upset, not wanting to be without her honor; she begged me. But I won't. I can't do that to you, to myself." Hands grasped mine from the ground and I gasped as I peered into his eyes deeper. He called to my wolf.

"You. You are my gift. I know what you must think of me, and I know you won't have me now. But if there's even the slightest bit of hope, I'm hanging onto it. Everything in me tells me to mark you as mine, but I'd never humiliate you that way. My only obligation to Victoria now is to help her through her pregnancy. I haven't decided what to do after the pup is born but I can't just send it on with Victoria back to Blue Moon."

His words had crushed me even more, my soul tearing to shreds. My heart was a bleeding ulcer. What other option did he expect? Him not marking her was the only truly good thing out of all of this... But if the the Alpha from Victoria's pack wanted to unite their pack through their mating, he wouldn't be too happy about Edward refusing to mark her as his, taking away his only heir's honor.

Females can't inherit a pack. They must mate with another Alpha and they would inherit it. Her true mate would be an Alpha if she were to find him. That was how it went. Female Alphas are only mated to Alpha males because a male can't just be given an Alpha title. Male Alphas can be mated to whatever rank because their female would take on the Luna title no matter what.

I looked at him with watery eyes, the emotions coming from the both of us were so thick. "So, you're going to make her pack? Raise the pup together? Her father wouldn't allow that if she's his only child" I tried to stay calm but my voice cracked as more tears stained my cheeks. All of this was weighing heavy on my shoulders.

It's not every day that the male your supposed to love is starting a family with someone else.

He sighed, "She can't be pack. I know this. She has obligations to her own pack, to mate with an Alpha who would take over. And now that she's pregnant, her father expects me to be that. But, you know the chances of wolves having pups with wolves other than their mates." He rasped.

I stared into those baby blues, watching his tears roll down those angular cheek bones. My hand tremored, fighting the urge of the mate bond, wanting to wipe them away and comfort him. I had to restrain myself.

He was right.

It was possible to have children with another wolf other than your mate, It happened all the time, but it was difficult. Miscarriage along with stillbirth were the effects of breeding outside of your own mate. If your souls weren't tied to one another, it was hard to tell the outcome. But it was useful to wolves who's mates had died, rejected them, or never found them at all. The moon would feel their pain and allow them to mate with another and procreate. But a male with a mate in his grace? One that was never given the choice to place her mark.

It would be hard to tell if that pup would make it or not. Me being here around the both of them made Victoria's chances of having that pup slim to none.

Surely the moon didn't hate me that much.

Could this work out in my favor?

How selfish of me, wishing for a life to be taken away so I could be given a chance.

It would crush him, losing a pup. No matter who the mother was.

I couldn't want that for him...

A finger pressed under my chin, angling my face up to his. It sent pleasurable palpitations through my heart, a fire burning within. My insides clenched at his touch, that one finger on my flesh sending shockwaves throughout my body, all the way to my core. I felt it there. A need.

Once my red-rimmed eyes were back on his own hooded blue ones, his hand left me, leaving a trace of numbing cold in its wake as he inhaled, eyes closing, taking in my scent.

I couldn't help but to want his touch back on me. I felt the wolf within me send out her instincts to lean toward him, but I ignored it. I had to.

If I did anything, it would be the wolf's fault and I couldn't stand to feel more shame than I already do.

He shook his head out of the trance. I felt his pain. His lust. Just as he felt mine.

"She's upset that I refuse to mark her. Upset because I doubt the outcome of this pregnancy. She's jealous of you because she knows I feel everything for you and nothing for her. I don't know what will happen between her father and me, but I'll leave her without honor for your sake. I don't love her. She never was anything to me, just a mistake. And I haven't touched her since that night. I won't touch her again."

He said it as if it mattered anymore, but it was comforting to my wolf to know.

I closed my eyes, thankful for his honesty and the fact I was wrong about what I had seen that day out of my window. But that didn't mean I would offer him myself. I wouldn't wait around and be his backup plan.

The knot in my stomach slowly unwound, offering me a solace of comfort, relaxing my organs – which had been so tense at his expense.

"Edward... What are you going to do if the pup is born..." The question he didn't know the answer to.

The breath he let out warmed my skin, allowing tingles to spread where it hit.

Those bloodshot blue orbs seemed hollow now as the sunlight danced between the leaves overhead, flecks of light shrinking his pupils. He seemed so young in this moment.

"I haven't thought it through yet, but I'll have to raise my pup with her nearby while he's young. It's only right." His shoulders fell in defeat as a hand ran through windswept dark hair.

"Where? I'm not sure. But my being future Alpha, I need to stay here. But she will never be my mate. Our pup would inherit her father's territory, as she is his only child. I'll allow it. He has no other male heirs. The child will be male since I'm an Alpha. I have thought a little about it, by 10, the pup would be expected to live at Blue Moon pack with Victoria to go through their rigorous training, spending summers here with me. That would be the best outcome. Maybe she will find her mate one day and he would understand her situation. I know it breaks you for my first child not to be yours. It breaks me too. But you are my gift. I can't just not acknowledge that... "

I rolled my eyes as I shook my head, already feeling like he was making me his backup plan. Did he think I would just wait for his plans to unfurl? I have a life too and I need to live it. He continued.

"It's not fair for me to even ask you to wait for me, and I'm not, but I'm telling you that I won't mark her. She won't be my mate. I don't know what could ever happen between you and me, but at least you have that."

I sniffed as the tears formed in my eyes. We wouldn't know what would happen If she would miscarry or not If the pup would survive or not. Her pack was trying to force the bond but Edward wouldn't give in to that. He was leaving that open just in case. He cares about me, I know he does. He wants me as his mate just as much as I want him, but he wouldn't let himself do that to me and I wouldn't let him either. He was showing me respect and I was grateful for it.

A hand covered mine, warmth spreading through my body from the place he touched.

I wish he were mine.

His movement ceased by the scent of gardenias impregnating the air around us. A muffled sob followed.

His eyes widened on mine before we both turned, seeing Victoria towering over us as tears streamed down her face, one hand over her mouth, the other on her flat belly.

She looked helplessly at him, eyeing me up as if I took something from her.

"Victoria... I'm.." He didn't know what to say.

I watched the tall lanky female standing twenty feet away, her long gingered hair perfectly curled and makeup harsh among her pretty face. Black streaks of mascara stained her cheeks.

Her brown eyes glanced between Edward and I but my eyes held no remorse for her. Who doesn't know their heat is coming?

I felt cold toward her.

She begged my mate to mark her, knowing I'm his. She encroached on my territory first.

Victoria's shaky Hand moved from her mouth as she squared her shoulders. Hands wiping fiercely at her eyes to rid herself of the tears.

"Edward. Do you refuse to mark me? I'm carrying your pup! ...She" she gestured toward me wildly, "Is a mere juvenile!!" Her voice was a sad display of how her heart was broken.

He had given her his food out of kindness I now realize.

He wanted me. He needed me.

Edward dropped his head. "She's my mate Victoria. My true mate. You are only carrying my pup. Over a one night mistake that should have been prevented." The last word was bit out, accusing eyes narrowing into slits on her. His words hurt. I know they must have stabbed through her heart with the intent on hurting. His jaw had clenched when she spoke of me and now he was repaying her.

Walking forward a few steps, she glared at me. I watched with intrigued ears. This was my spot. I didn't feel out of place here. But I doubt her heart was really broken... It was just her pride. No one can fall in love with someone from a one night stand – not a wolf anyway. That wolf pines for the mate they have out there in the world.

"You'd choose her? Leaving the option open for her to mark you over the mother of your pup!?" A low growl rumbled through her chest, vibrating the air.

Edward's burning gaze became unbearable, a growl emitting from his own chest, effectively silencing her. Her jealousy was apparent.

"Stand down Victoria. This is not your pack. You have no rank here. Do not think of challenging anyone, especially in your condition! You would be killed on the spot if you do.Bella's wolf won't tolerate you," He growled out. Even his growl had my head bowing. An alpha growl has that effect, even a future one.

He kept going as he rose from the ground, his harsh glare making her tale a few tentative steps away.

"You know as well as I do that you have a 50% chance of miscarrying or having a stillborn! With my having a mate here, it's even less than that! You have a mate too, you just haven't found him. The moon isn't so kind to parents like us." His hurtful words stabbed right through her, but for me...

For me, they brought hope, as malicious as that sounds. If the pregnancy failed, she would go on her way, leaving our lives for good and we could be together. But I'd have to learn to trust him. He's been so honest with me thus far. Would I be with him if she was out of the picture? I wasn't sure.

Her glare turned icy. "We will see what my father thinks about that." She rose a brow, a smirk on her lips as she turned on her heel earning a threatening growl from Edward, causing her to pick up the pace as she ran.

Edward's anger left my body in a whirlwind of excitement, feeling how powerful he was. My wolf purred in my mind, loving the strength of her mate. She wanted to go after that she-wolf and teach her a lesson.

He glanced down at me briefly. "I'm sorry Bella. So sorry. But now you know. Please.. Please think about what I've said." I didn't respond. I barely talked this entire time. I just listened and took in his words.

He leaned down to kiss the top of my head before running away, leaping into the air as he shifted, shredding clothes in his wake. His large wolf howled, chasing after Victoria with a point to prove. I felt excitement shifting within me as I watched how quick he was on his feet.

Pregnant or not, he would teach her her place. A little scruff biting for submission wouldn't hurt the pup that may or may not make it out of this alive...

I may be a sadistic b*tch to some who knew my thoughts, but I couldn't help but want things to work out in our favor.

Even when it came to the life of a young pup.

I was being selfish.

I'm heartbroken and I'm selfish.

She wouldn't replace me.

Couldn't replace me.

But I couldn't be with him if he had that pup... I couldn't. I would have to move on...

And it would destroy me.

Who am I?

Am I Edward's mate? The future Luna?

Am I a scorned she-wolf?

Or am I something else entirely that I haven't even realised yet?

The pain was real, but something inside me was telling me to find out who I am, don't wait on him.

The wolf though, she will always choose her mate.

She wanted me to end Victoria, take her out.

What would I do?