Chapter 4 FOUR

The curiosity in me arose and almost depressed me as I watched the person walk off with his cigar. "Phil! Phil don't! Don't go man, come, let's talk about this!.. Damn it!" I shouted as I guessed the footsteps, and the walking style in to deem lights of the moon that arose and sparkled my face.

Phil was cool, and good, he was more of a friend to me, but the fact remained that he pulled the trigger to feel safe, and see himself in the safer side that night. I knew that he would never let go of that, and he will always try to threaten me as much as he could. Never to mention him anywhere in the murder case. I knew his intentions, just as I knew him from our young age. I could sense him from a far, so was it easy to know that he wasn't okay, by looking at him as he was troubled.

He is really my good friend, and more so, a brother, we looked at each other and taken care of. I was raised along him, as he was. But he was smart until someday he began and took another journey of his life, kidnapped for survival...

Many believed that along to Phil, I was just there, and neither could they believe that I was never involved in Brian's death. But no! Not at all, my minds never rested, all the times I could see the flowing blood just like the golden river flow in my eyes and minds. I was troubled, I thought of settling out the truth in court, but who would believe? No one actually and absolutely nobody. It was all my fault to believe Phil as he said, "leave everything for me bro! We're going to be rich kids no matter the way we take!".

His words sucked me, drawing the pain deep in me and breaking my heart as well, breaking it into pieces that clearly could tell that Phil isn't worth my forgiveness. He owes that boy a life.

As much as I could think of him. I was so troubled, and couldn't just let go of it. I was willing and ready to die for his sins, he has done a lot for me before anyway, and I thought that this could be my only chance to show Phil that our friendship and brotherhood stands.

***

The morning lights shown on my face in their weak states, I rarely could think that maybe she could visit. Viv stood in front of me as she was pulling out the seat from the table and sat slowly as much as she could.

Her eyes never faded the tears, I cloud see the pain in them as I looked deep down in her, she never smells forgiveness. She froze for a while as she looked deep in my eyes and giggling as a little hungry leopard wanting to prey. I could easily note her hands shook, I knew her anger, and understood it all the times, but now I couldn't. She was far, and more from this world. Her eyes turned golden like that of a wolf, she was a real Alpha when she hardly believed that I was still breathing.

She couldn't withstand to see me alive at this hour of the day, the pain was sucking deep in her minds, and heart, I knew it for I could see from far. And as well feel it. Her hands on the table with fidgeting fingers, her eyes rolled in their sunken sockets from time to time with anger and fear, she roared as she tried to speak. Her voice never came out clearly as she endeavored to speak.

She behaved slightly close to a ware wolf. I was too afraid as I watched her in such a horrible state.

"Am hungry sweetheart" I said in a low, weak, disappearing voice. As she rose her eyebrows and looked deep in my eyes. With plenty of words in her head but nothing to say. My eyes were in pain and my whole body as well, I thought that maybe am not going to survive longer than this.

"You mean? You want me to breastfeed you?" She asked in an angry, alarming, sharp voice as she struggled to speak from her broken voice.

"Ah...look Viv, I am ah... Haven't eaten for a while" "So what?" She interfered, my word in a shout that raised alarm, which made her two body guards hold her in fear as they tried to calm her down. "Bring to my husband some cookies" She said, quoting the words as she sent one of her body guards against her left hand.

Quickly, the orders were followed to their later and on the table were some cookies which at least could help me sustain the hunger for a while.

"I have never been alone and sorrowful to this point, Don. I trusted you with my son, our son! My everything that I was left within this world, but you dared raise your hands on him. That I can't even believe he's no more?" She stated as tears broke her eyes and started flowing and over, flooding her black shaggy blouse that she wore for the third time.

She just was no more than a mad guy, she was confused, embarrassed and all above anger controlled her.

"All I wish is you just admit it! Admit what you did, Don. That will eventually make my heart in peace and will. Furthermore, let the soul and heart of the departed rest in eternal peace, only if you admit that you really did it" She said as she never stopped crying or whatsoever.

"Well! What if I would rather not admit that. Because that is what you want to hear, and it isn't the truth, neither. How can I admit something I never did? Hah?" I said as I shouted back at her in a high voice, as well as breaking my anger down, hitting the table with my palm. "And how long are you going to keep me inside here, hah? Don't you want justice for your son! Ah, sorry, our son?...listen, I want myself appear before the court and face the law, for I know the guilty ones will never find a place to live in these streets. If not for the law, then stress and guiltiness will eventually bring them down in these streets!" I said as I pushed the cookies to her side in high sadness.

"I never thought you would be such a man, Don!" "Or what?, kill me? Or keep me here instead of taking me to court and jail hah?" I conceded her words quickly in anger as she knew so very well that my temper and hers never goes in one bucket.

"You killed my son Don, betrayed the love that I had for you and made everything look so strange! Trust to mistrust, love to hatred in fact, I hate you Don! So very much, and justice must come. It must find its way out of the hidden rooms, out of the hidden pains, justice for my son must come to pass." She said in sorrow from deep in her heart, as she stood pushed her seat and walked away while doing her tears in a black Hand car chief.

****

It was past an hour to nine, the clock was still ticking as I raised my eyes to check on the watch from time to time, as the crowd awaited my judgement to come. Everyone was ready to see it delivered, to see justice for Brian come true. Her mother's love for me disappeared just once, as breath disappears in cold air and wind.

It was baleful and pure agony to see how everybody was against me. Even the love of my life, as she stood beside me, to confess the death of her son, to confess how hard it was for her to trust me with her son and did what I did to him. My back pained from time to time, and my arm too, my eyes were wide open but could rarely see from the bright lights in the court. Everyone had their expectations, and I was able to see it from their faces, which they never wanted to make contact with me either.

I never thought that it would go this far, that everyone was grunting and giving their opinions on the type of judgement they awaited to be delivered to me. As well as, we awaited the witnesses to arrive at the court so as the judge could deliver his judgement.

I tried to stretch my neck towards Viv, who was standing, next. Her arms on her breasts and as she giggled and sucked every pain that came her way as she hardly believed that she saw me still standing. I knew that she hated me with her whole heart, and she could hardly hear from me neither believe whatever I could say in her ears anymore.

"Look Viv, I am sorry...am genuinely sorry, but this shouldn't been happening, at least hold on until you know the truth before it turn to regrets. Remember of our love Viv, I still have that in me, at least give me a chance to win your heart back Viv, I love you sweetheart." I said as I compelled all my last words.

She never turned even to look at me.

She is a woman of about thirty-six, a sixteen-year-old gap from me, but she once happened to be the love of my life and I believe she is still, as we are married. But now I actually turned everything against her and I knew so well that maybe she will never forgive me for the loss of her son. Whom she treasured, and he was her only son, for all the times. I knew that the pain rolling down her chest will never ever come out, and she would rather die looking for justice, then give me a second chance to love again. Loving was all mess to her. She hardly believed in it, she couldn't think of it any longer, her minds were pierced off. And all her strength were gone.

I kept looking at her from time to time as I confirmed a possible reply from what I passed to her ears! She rarely turned her face to look at me. I could see the pain running in her blood from the blood vessels on her left side of the neck, the anger, and the cliff that arose in her. That could hardly allow her rolling tear balls to stop coming from her eyes. The eyes were red and as from time to time as they rolled in their sockets, they turned golden due to the anger she allowed it to take over her. She had given it all, and she willingly surrendered to anger, violence and arrogance.

The court ruling immediately had its baseline as the two witnesses were brought in, tied and wrapped up their faces in black Shukas, hardly to be identified from a far distance.

"My ruling will actually be determined by the evidence presented before me as well as the eyewitnesses here! I would therefore like to place an order that the two witnesses be unwrapped and present to court the truth they actually know about this case!" the Judge said as he was nearing his conclusions. The two witnesses uncovered their faces slowly in shivers as if they'd been from an ice bag.

"Phil?... Alexa?" I hardly believed my eyes as I saw the two standing in front of me as witnesses... I almost got an attack from panic and fear.

"Yes your Honor! He is the murderer." Alexa said as she trembled in a low, arrogant and confident voice. It was all messed up.