Chapter 6 6

As soon as Bruna got home , she told her mother in detail everything that had happened that day. Flowers filled every room in the house and she felt immensely happy. She was anxiously awaiting Cassiane's arrival to tell her everything.

Angela affectionately passed her hand over her daughter's face and said:

- I love you so much, Bruna... I don't want you to regret your decision.

- I will not regret it, mother. You know I always wanted this.

- Isn't it a whim of yours? A way to somehow keep him trapped to end this insecurity of his?

- Mom, how can you say that?

- I worry about you... I will always worry. I want you to be happy. And make sure you are making the right decision. To me you are still a girl.

- I'm sure... If that makes you more relaxed, Mom.

- And Adrian is also sure he wants that?

- Mom, I love Adrian, he loves me. There's nothing to go wrong.

- And the fights?

- That's normal, Mom.

- And... If it goes wrong. If marriage isn't what you think... If you don't feel as happy and fulfilled as you imagine...

- Mom... With mistakes we learn. If it doesn't work out, I'll get back up and move on with my life. Wrong is not the end... It could be the beginning... The beginning of something that can go right next time.

Angela hugged Bruna affectionately. Bruna understood her mother perfectly. As long as she was there in that house, she was under Angela's watchful eye and care. She worried about the appointments, about the medications and she felt responsible for that. Perhaps this was her fear. Of Bruna being able to stay far away from home, of remembering everything she had to do to keep her mental health up to date... And that she wouldn't have a big disappointment so she wouldn't risk having a relapse again, trying to get away from it. own life. But Bruna knew she was fine, except for the fact that she might have imagined seeing the face of the man in her dream in the hospital... Or even the fact that she had dreamed and seen the image of that stranger so clearly. But she didn't even have much time to think about it, because in the end she didn't even know if she had really seen the man in the dream, or put her image there in that person... She didn't even know if that dream had really existed. He was trying not to think too much about the things his mind was trying to tell him.

- Glad to hear that from you, my daughter. Believing in beginnings is the basis of everything. And in the end, I know that you and Adrian are always together. Always has been and always will be, ever since they met. I can't even imagine the two of you apart and I have no doubt about his feelings for you.

Bruna laughed:

- I'm fine, Mom. I will never do what I did again. Don't worry.

- I only worry a little about your obsession with marriage. - Angela said laughing. - I think in another life you were a spinster and still not over it.

The two burst into laughter. Angela stroked her hair:

- I'll call you every day... And I'll visit you almost every day... Just thinking about being away from you makes me miss you. You were always so sweet... So fragile, but at the same time full of desires. She's my girl, with different desires than all women these days.

- I never imagined myself in clubs in search of a man or fun. Adrian came into my life and since then I just wanted him and do everything beside him. I know you think I have a lot to live for... And I will , Mom. But with him.

- I hope it's a mature decision, Bruna.

- Mom, I have the maturity to know what I want.

- I have no doubt that you know what you want... I always knew... But about your maturity I'm not sure.

- I feel offended. – she joked, laughing.

- Come here on my lap my spoiled little girl. - said Angela.

Bruna went to her mother's lap and accepted the affection, as if she were a child. Because she was thin, she fit perfectly in Angela's lap.

- Bruna, what if after you're married you meet someone else and discover that you never loved Adrian? Angela asked suddenly.

Bruna lifted her head against Angela's chest and looked seriously at her mother:

- Why are you asking me this, Mom?

- It came to my mind that maybe he's not your true love. What if your heart finds out he's not the person you're looking for? What if it's late, since you're already married to Adrian and have kids? Would you be able to give up everything to live this love? Or would you be eternally sorry for not having lived your love story in exchange for living a life you dreamed of, but which is no longer what you want... You never met another man... Adrian was your first love, your first boyfriend, your first kiss... And you're only 20 years old... A whole life ahead of you. Many people will cross your path yet... And you will meet other men.

- I... I don't know... I know love... I always knew that Adrian was the right person for my future.

- I'm sorry, Bruna... I didn't mean to confuse you, honey. I just want you to be sure... That's all. You know how much I care about you.

- I know, Mom... And I honestly don't know how to answer your question... I've had it all planned out since forever... I can't imagine that anything can go wrong. If I can, as I said, I think I'll get back up and keep going. And I'm going to go up to my room... Today has tired me... But in a positive way.

- Sorry if I was harsh with my words... - Angela said.

- Don't worry, Mom. Everything is fine. I know you do everything thinking about my good and puts me above anything else.

Bruna climbed the stairs confused and couldn't hold back the tears that started to fall. He took his medicine, put on his pajamas and lay down on the bed. He understood Angela's concern, but at the same time it seemed that she was trying hard to dissuade her from her decision.

Angela had lost her husband too soon and she was certainly doing it to protect her daughter. Bruna knew that the loss had been very difficult for her mother. She was still a baby... The three of them were in the car and a truck cut in front of them. Bruno, his father, could not resist and died instantly. Bruna was in serious condition and spent a long time in the ICU, even being given up by the doctors. However, she survived and that's why since she was a child she was treated with great affection by her mother and sister. Doctors said it was a miracle she survived. And Angela didn't have time to cry for her husband, because she needed to be by her daughter's side. One loss had been enough and she knew that if she lost her daughter too, she might not be able to resist. Cassiane was away for a long time at Aunt Dani's, Angela's sister. Meanwhile, Angela practically lived inside the hospital until her daughter was discharged. Maybe that 's what made Cassiane such a strong and determined woman. And Bruna insecure and afraid of everything that existed. She had had a difficult childhood, didn't fit in with her peers, always trying to exclude herself. She wasn't very studious, so she didn't get good or bad grades either. He didn't try anything to be better. He knew how important he was to his mother and was always careful never to make her upset or do anything that would hurt her. They were very close and had a lot of affection for each other. They had learned to always live for each other. But without knowing exactly why , Bruna continued to have a childhood that was a little different from what is expected of children her age. Adolescence only made it worse. Ângela has always worked hard to take care of everything, so that her daughters lack nothing. Cassiane was an exemplary student and early on began working to help her mother. Too much time at home alone made Bruna have bad thoughts, feel guilty for the two of them doing everything for her. Feeling of emptiness of adolescence, the weight of the world on your back, looking in the mirror and feeling horrible, not having your father's presence with you, because you think God was wrong with them and decided to take him out of the world... The sadness and feeling of doing everything wrong got worse and worse until depression came in early adolescence. Even today without knowing the reason, one day Bruna tried to end her own life, slashing her wrists, because she thought it made no sense to be there. She was only 13 years old and due to her depressive history since childhood, she had to stay in a clinic for a few months, so that she could take the medication properly and do all the correct treatment. He hadn't thought the time he was there was good, but he didn't think it was bad either. She had learned to value life more and the absence of her mother and sister, who only came on visits, as many as they could and as many hours as they could, made her see how important they were in her life and brought her even more. more guilt for what had put them both through. With regard to marriage and the dream of a life together to soon have children and form a family, according to the therapist, it was to try to recover what she never had, which was so important to her: a father. Angela doesn't go out and has never tried to meet someone else to rebuild her life. For more than 20 years he lived entirely for the sake of his daughters. Bruna also wanted to go out and live her life so that Angela could live hers. She needed this... She couldn't always live for her and Cassiane. She needed to find someone who would love her and take care of her as she deserved. As soon as she left the clinic, Bruna began to receive private lessons to make up for lost time at school. As soon as she returned, they chose to change her school institution. Then she met Adrian at the age of 14 and fell in love with him. He was practically leaving school, as he was older, at the time 18 years old . It was he who started sending love letters and insisting on a date. She accepted, already falling in love with the first boy who noticed her. Since then they've been dating... 6 long years. Adrian was fun, friendly, concerned about her and very affectionate. They had always had fights for insignificant reasons, but they always made up and stayed together. He always knew about her suicide attempt as well as her deep depression and ongoing treatment. But he always respected her decision not to talk about it. Although she felt that he did treat her with some concern, probably at Angela's guidance, they were in a normal relationship and she never found her past to interfere with anything in their relationship. None of his friends, although very close, knew because he never told, respecting her decision. And he was very close to Angela and Cassiane, who most of the time sided with him in the fights they had, always sure they would come back. It had been 7 years since she had attempted to take her own life. He thought he was doing just fine and was sure he wouldn't do it again. However, the doctors had not yet released her from routine consultations, much less medication. But Dr. Adam had said that she was getting better and better and that she would probably soon be out of some routine appointments, except therapy. She couldn't wait for this day to arrive.