Chapter 3 3

The rest of the morning took a while to pass. Bruna knew it was like that whenever she would see Adrian. She was homesick, but dreaded the meeting between the two due to the matter she wanted to discuss with him. The longing was mixed with nervousness. It was easier to talk on the phone than in person, but he would face it. She laughed at herself and her crazy thoughts. I wasn't going to propose anything bad... It was just a marriage proposal. I knew they had plans for that, so it was just a matter of advancing what was already agreed.

When she was near the main gate she saw Catita and started to walk a little faster to pass her. She insisted on being seen with Adrian by the girl. He was there, leaning against the gate, in his pale blue jeans and a yellow shirt that she loved. Her heart melted when she saw him like that, trying to look more casual. When he saw her he didn't stop and went to her, hugging her tightly and giving her a long kiss. They didn't even mind interrupting the others. It took a while for him to let go.

- I missed you? asked Adrian.

- Yes always. she replied.

- Then let's get out of here. - He said taking her by the hand and leaving quickly.

Maiquel called him.

- Shall we pretend we didn't hear? she proposed.

- I can't do this... He's my friend.

Adrian stopped and stood with a smile on his face at the gate waiting for Maiquel and Catita.

- Glad I found you. – Maiquel said, giving his friend a hug.

Catita was not content without physical contact and kissed him twice on the cheek. Involuntarily Bruna tightened her grip on his hand when she touched him.

- Catita is having a party at her house this weekend. We decided today, when we found out that her elders are going away. We can count on you two, can't we? – said Maiquel.

- Of course, if the invitation is for both of us, we can think. replied Bruno.

Catita laughed and shook her head and Bruna realized she was making a fool of herself. How could that woman irritate her so much? Control your jealousy... That's what the therapist said. But when Bruna was close to Catita, controlling her feelings was very difficult.

- Will you have lunch? – Maiquel asked, trying to ignore Bruna's previous comment.

- Yea. - said Adrian.

- Do you want to go with them, Catita? asked Maiquel.

Bruno was incredulous. It was impossible to take a deep breath and bear it. She hadn't seen her fiancé in days, all she wanted was to enjoy a moment with him and tell him everything that was planned. It was an important day for her, as they would have a definitive conversation about marriage. And no... She wouldn't have lunch with their two friends together. She let go of Adrian's hand and walked quickly, not looking back. She was angry and feeling angry. But she still walked to his car, as she was sure he would come after her. She crossed her arms and stood there until he arrived. He opened the door and sat in the car, saying nothing. She sat beside him. He didn't start the car... He took a deep breath and said:

- Why did you do that, Bruna?

- Why did I do this? - she said altered. – Why did 'you' do that... I said to pretend I wasn't listening to them. But no... You had to listen to what he had to say... Wasn't it enough to have been with them all night before and still want to get together for lunch instead of just being with me? Is this serious? I'm tired of these two chasing me around, forcing a friendship that doesn't exist between me and them. I can't stand Catita. I try to be tolerant, not to make a scene, but I confess that it is very difficult. It seems to me that they try to test me all the time. They certainly don't know how much medication I take a day and that I can put up with a lot.

- Are you really capable of putting up with it, Bruna? he asked seriously. "It was just an invitation to have lunch together, nothing more. Maybe they didn't even really want to have lunch with us, but the way you treat them makes them do it. They are my friends.

- Then date them and forget about me.

- Don't be so jealous , my love.

- It's not jealousy. I feel like they're always trying to be among us. And Catita is a constant threat.

- Bruna, you know I love you. He took her chin in his hands and looked into her eyes. - Catita means nothing to me. I never loved her .

When Bruna looked into the eyes, she saw other eyes, as if they weren't his own. the green eyes gave way to light brown eyes, almost honey tone. She blinked several times, trying to get rid of what she saw.

- Is everything okay, Bruno? he asked.

- Yeah... All right.

- You looked at me in a strange way all of a sudden... - he said confused.

- It's okay, Adrian... I'm just... I'm upset. And I know Catita still has feelings for you.

- I'm sure she doesn't like me except as a friend, dear. He does this just to annoy you sometimes.

- And why does she insist on irritating me, Adrian?

- I don't think she does it out of spite... It's just a joke. They are like...

- Adrian, I fear that the day will come when you will have to choose between me or your friends... Unfortunately. I no longer want to share it with anyone. I want to be loved completely, you know? I want to love completely...

- You are completely loved by me, Bruna. And I really hope the day never comes when I have to make that choice...

- Why do you have doubts about what you would choose? Would you choose them ?

- I couldn't live without either of them. – he said seriously.

- You will not marry them. she shouted.

- I don't want to marry them... Not even you, damn it. He said in a louder voice than usual.

Bruna couldn't believe what she was hearing. She opened the car door and ran out, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. Adriana started the car and went after her, but she wasn't willing to listen or forgive him.

- I 'm sorry, my love. – he asked as he walked slowly with the car beside her. – I didn't mean to say that... It was without thinking... I didn't mean it.

- I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Forget me and it's all over between us.

She got even angrier when she saw him put on his sunglasses and laugh at her attitude.

- I love you, Bruna and you know it. It was not my intention to hurt you.

Bruna saw a bus coming and attacked it. When he stopped she went upstairs, not thinking twice, not even knowing where he was going. When she sat down, she pulled her sunglasses out of her bag so no one could see her tears. I could see that he was following the bus. When she got close to her house she didn't see his car anymore. She imagined he would come to her house to surprise her. So she didn't stop at the point. He only got off when the bus stopped at the end of the line. So she had to go down. He was in the central area of the city and decided that he would not go home because he did not want to meet Adrian at that moment. She looked at her watch and saw that it was after 1 pm. His stomach was asking for food. She had a routine appointment at the hospital at 4:30 and decided she would have lunch and hang around until it was time for her appointment. She was a little shaken by what she'd heard from Adrian. I really didn't expect that attitude from him. If he preferred his friends, she would leave him free to go with them as a bachelor. She would never look for him again, even though her heart was torn apart. After lunch she went to a store to look for some new bracelets, which she loved to buy, and then went for a walk in the park. She even had an ice cream by herself, which she hadn't done in a long time. Sitting, eating her ice cream on the bench, she opened the package with the new purchases and already put some on her wrist. She laughed. How much weight in the arms of such a thin girl. What a contrast of metal in the thin arms with clothes that are always basic. This was a frequent conversation in therapy: how long to hide the marks? Until when you think it's necessary... There's no time... You decide the time. These were the words of the therapist. She didn't know if there would ever be a time when she would feel free to show the world that she had tried to end her own life. He wasn't ashamed of the scars, but of what they brought back as memories.

She looked at her watch and realized she would have to almost run to get to the hospital in time . Late as usual, she thought. But when he arrived, they told him to wait that the doctor was late that day. She sat up and laughed to herself: yes, someone could be later than her. Your doctor.

She knew Adrian was no longer at her house. He would have gone to work by now. And he would certainly be very worried that she hadn't come back, after all, he didn't know about the appointment. As she stood there, wrapped in her thoughts, the door opened and the doctor shook hands with the stranger who was leaving. She got up, knowing she was next. When he turned around, she felt her heart stop beating and her legs nearly left her on the floor. It was him... the man from her dream the night before. Those light brown eyes, the color of honey... There was no mistaking it. And he was still sure it was his eyes he'd seen on Adrian during the car fight. A shiver ran through her body so much that she shivered. Their eyes met for a second, maybe two... But she knew it was him, even with the mask that covered his face, leaving only his eyes showing. He was very tall, thin, wore shorts. Who wore shorts to the hospital? She was confused. As he left, she noticed the slippers. She laughed to herself: flip-flops, shorts and a white T-shirt in the hospital. And he had long hair, past his shoulders, tied in an uncoordinated ponytail.

The doctor called her and she came in still confused and shocked by what she had seen .

- How are you doing? – he asked, sitting down and gesturing for her to do the same?

- Doctor, I think I'm going crazy for good. - She said smiling nervously.

Doctor Adam laughed. She felt very comfortable with him. They had known each other for many years and saw each other monthly.

- Why do you think that?

- Who is that man who left here? The one in shorts and flip-flops?

- Bruna, I can't talk about my patients.

- Would you believe me if I said that I dreamed of this man last night without ever having seen him in my life? This morning I talked about the crazy dream about a stranger coming out of nowhere. Then I come face to face with him here... Why does he wear a mask? Will I have to take more medication? Do you think I've gone crazy now?